After former Wisconsin governor Scott Walker formally nominated him to the second spot on the republican ticket, Mike Pence strode to the podium to say some, um, inspiring words to a nearly empty hotel conference room.
Never actually saying the name “Trump” (referring to him, instead, as “someone I know well”), Pence, who personifies “stump speech”, said that the Trump-Pence ticket will be taking their case to the American people because of their thriving economy and American pride to reelect Trump because he’s “made this country more prosperous than ever before before this pandemic.”
Pence prompted a “Back the Blue” chant, claiming that it was to support law enforcement, but an unknown number of the dozens in the audience may have thought he was endorsing Democrats.
“It’ll take at least four more years to drain that swamp,” Pence said, apparently unaware that a dozen or so members of the Trump-Pence Administration have been indicted or investigated.
“So men and women of the republican National Convention, it’s on,” Pence said yawningly.
“The economy is on the ballot. Law and order is on the ballot. Our most cherished ideals of freedom and free markets are on the ballot,” Pence declared in a statement that Democrats would certainly endorse.
“We’re going to make America great again, again,” ended Pence, somewhat awkwardly.