“Britney Spears has left fans confused after sharing a throwback photo in which she is seen partying with her ex-boyfriend Justin Timberlake, sister Jamie-Lynn and actor Natalie Portman” reads the lede to a 398 word article in the Independent, a British newspaper often clipped here on National Zero for its solid coverage of American political and national news.

“In the image, taken at an album launch in 2001, Spears can be seen laughing alongside Timberlake and Portman, who appear to be sharing a joke with the young Jamie-Lynn. Spears’s sister would have been around nine or 10 years old at the time. Spears published the image to her Instagram, while dedicating it to her little sister, who turned 30 on 4 April” which again is somehow considered newsworthy by the editorial staff of the Independent for some reason.

“‘Happy belated birthday to this beautiful soul,’ Spears wrote in a caption. ‘I love you so much and damn it I wish I was as smart as you at 30!!!! It’s weird to say that I was basically your momma when you were younger and yes I’m still older but your soul is and always has been wise!!!!'” continues the article, its reason for being as elusive as a solution to the Navier–Stokes existence and smoothness problem to model transitions from laminar to turbulent flow in fluid dynamics – a mystery which has vexed generations of physicists and mathematicians.

National Zero’s next article on Saturday is a report on a piece of frosted birthday cake on a popsicle stick being added to White Castle’s menu, written by our own Contentious Otter.