Florida Senator (and puppet wishing he could be a real boy) Marco Rubio wrote in an op/ed for the New York Post that Corporate America has abandoned American ideals because they’re no longer blindly following GOP talking points and instead, they’re promoting voting rights and racial equity.

“Many in corporate America feel no obligation to act in the best interest of our country,” Rubio asserts.  “Historically, corporate America played an integral role in building thriving communities, stable families and a strong nation. US companies made a comfortable lifestyle available to millions of working- and middle-class Americans.

“To help our corporations fulfill their patriotic role, the GOP especially enacted business-friendly policies,” Rubio continues.  “We kept tax rates low, slashed red tape where appropriate and limited the reach of labor unions. But somewhere along the line, corporations began prioritizing short-term financial windfalls and ruthless offshoring. ”

Apparently, Rubio just now came to the realization that excessive corporate profits do nothing to help Americans, and he’s ready to throw corporations under the bus, but not for financial malfeasance.  Now, Rubio says, corporations are sticking their collective noses in areas where they have no business:  American culture. 

“It became trendy for executives to view themselves as ‘citizens of the world’,” Rubio whines.  “Love of country, free speech and traditional faith and other bedock American ideals became unfashionable.”

Rubio, a member of the Republican Party that once took up the mantle that “corporations are people, too,” now believes that the protections from government interference in their operations need to be revoked.  Citing companies that support pro-choice legislation; sports leagues that “pull events out of states that dare pass legislation” (like voter suppression); and corporations that work with “Communist China,” Rubio wants to undermine the free market to promote Republican power plays.

“But lawmakers who have been asleep at the wheel for too long, especially within my own party, need to wake up. America’s laws should keep our nation’s corporations firmly ordered to our national common good,” Rubio says, comparing corporate support for voter rights and civil rights to polluters who “[dump] woke, toxic nonsense into our culture, and it’s only gotten more destructive with time. These campaigns will be met with the same strength that any other polluter should expect.”