The New York Times accidentally published a provocative story this afternoon that police discovered fields of watermelons on Mars, reportedly to feed the rise of fruit aliens, Futurism reports.
Apparently, now, police are in charge of interplanetary vine fruit harvests, but that’s beside the point. We need to know more about the fruit aliens.
The story, written under the byline of Joe Schmoe, stated that “The FBI declined to comment on reports of watermelons raining down, but confirmed that kiwis have been intercepted” before declaring “This story is terribly boring.”
The Times quickly removed the story, saying that it was published accidentally as a new system was being tested… to which we respond, “Suuuuuurrreeeee it was an accident, New York Times. We know the alien overlords got to you first.”