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National Zero Special Report: Groomers on the loose!!!

This is a National Zero Special Bulletin. The following Americans have been identified as “groomers” as in persons who have knowingly engaged in sexual relations with underage or near-underage persons and/or have been caught in possession of child pornography. Avoid them at all costs.

JOSH DUGGAR
Conservative Christian. Wanted to run for office as a Republican before arrest and conviction on federal charges of possession of child pornography. Incarcerated until we don’t know but it’ll be a shit ton of time in the tombs.

MARK FOLEY
Conservative former Florida Congressman, resigned in disgrace in 2006 after he was caught drunkenly trying to break into a dorm housing underage boys who worked as congressional pages and sending them sexually explicit texts. Still donates to GOP-aligned causes and Republican candidates in Florida.

DENNIS HASTERT
Republican former Speaker of the US House of Representatives, served from 1999 to 2007. Pleaded guilty in 2015 of molesting four high school boys he had coached on a wrestling team in the 1970s.

JOHN ROSE
Current Republican Tennessee Congressman who allegedly started dating his now-wife Chelsea when she was 16 and he was about 40 or 41. Definitely married her while she was still in college. They met when Rose was the Vice Chairman of the Future Farmers of America youth organizations Tennessee chapter and Chelsea was a participant. Rose voted against certifying the 2020 election and also voted against awarding the Congressional Gold Medal to the US Capitol Police after the January 6th, 2021 MAGA insurrection.

JIM JORDAN
Notorious fucking prick Republican Congressman from Ohio, unaffectionately nicknamed “Gym Jordan” over credible accusations of purposely ignoring sexual abuse of wrestlers by the team doctor on the Ohio State University wrestling program, on which Jordan was an assistant coach in the late 1980s/early 1990s.

MATT GAETZ
Notorious fucking prick Republican Congressman from Florida, unaffectionately nicknamed “Pizza-Gaetz” over an ongoing federal investigation into sexual relations with one or more teenage girls younger than the age of consent and transporting them across state lines, which fits the statute definition of sex trafficking even if it’s not quite Jeffrey Epstein-level abusiveness.

JIM HOFT
Founder of the far right propaganda site Gateway Pundit, met his husband Jezz in the Philippines in 2016 under unclear circumstances. Jezz was no older than 18 at the time, quite possibly even younger, while Hoft was about 54 or 55. Notably there are only 20 mentions of the word “groomer” per a Google search of the site’s articles in the last month. The same search of similarly active MAGA bullshit factory Breitbart.com returns nearly 400 mentions, so it looks like the whole “groomer” thing might be a little touchy of a subject for Ol Jimbo.

GLENN GREENWALD
Fucking insufferable egomaniac Substacker beloved by Trump fanboys for his endless “debunking” of minor plot holes found in the overall arc of the MAGA Reich’s bottomless corruption who, like Hoft, met his then-teenage future husband while traveling alone in a third world country. David Miranda was (allegedly) 19 when he met Greenwald, then 37, circa 2005 in Miranda’s native Brazil.

ROY MOORE
Twice-impeached, twice-removed former Alabama state Supreme Court Justice and loser of the 2017 Senate Special Election whose behavior around teenage girls was so bad he was banned from a shopping mall in the 1980s. The accusations against the sick fuck are almost too numerous to count.

LEE CHATFIELD
Republican former Speaker of the Michigan House, accused of sexually abusing his future sister-in-law from the time when she was a 15 year old student at a Christian high school owned by Chatfield’s father at which Lee, then 22 or so, taught – for over a decade until the victim went public early this year. Chatfield at the very least entertained pleas from disgraced former President Trump to overturn the 2020 election in Michigan just prior to his term-limited exit on January 1st, 2021.

KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE
Former Fox News host, age 53, who groomed cocaine-addicted mental teenager Donald Trump Jr, age 44, into psycho-sexual slavery in 2018. Reportedly dresses as a “sexy cheerleader” while abusing her hapless victim.

Dishonorable mentions: QAnon influencer David Trent, Capitol rioter Sean McHugh, weenie-wagger Jayson Boebert, Conservative British MP Imran Khan, Missouri anti-LGBT activist Ryan Utterback, Republican former Missouri state Rep Rick Roeber, and sick fuck RNC staffer Ruben Verastigui.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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