Pizza Hut is offering the “No. 1 Salted Chicken Pizza in Taiwan” topped with “flaming popcorn chicken,” fried squid, tempura, and parmesan-topped Oreo cookies ringing its cheese-stuffed crust, Brand Eating reports, confirming what we can only conclude is effectively the chain telling customers in the country “fuck you” with all the contempt and malice such an abomination could only mean. We get Taiwan is a little idiosyncratic, having seen in person that a very large portion of its main international airport is decorated with a Hello Kitty aesthetic, like the actual gates and terminals and even the planes themselves dolled up with the cartoon Japanese cat and her pals Keroppi frog, fluffy fluffy Cinnamoroll, and others. We just weren’t aware it was this weird.

Because this pizza is fucking weird. And if our first instinct was wrong, and that claim to “No. 1 Salted Chicken Pizza in Taiwan” is indeed accurate and not just a boast we’re going to have to expand our understanding of the Pacific island nation to encompass the fact that a pizza with both fried seafood and Oreos on it is popular. It’s not like a Baskin Robbins “Polar Pizza” which is really an ice cream cake made with Oreo crust shaped like a pizza, but an actual pizza with mozzarella, tomato sauce, and crust – topped with fried seafood, fried chicken, and Oreos.

We may never look at Taiwan the same way again knowing this. Even a headline like “Chinese navy lands marines on Taiwanese beaches, Biden orders nuclear forces deployed to Pacific” will make us kind of nauseous because it makes us of the tempura-Oreo-cheese stuffed crust tastes combined.