Durham investigators have concluded two prominent left wing politicians didn’t commit any crimes and that’s about as far as we can go with a stupidly misleading but still technically accurate headline and lede… British Labour Party leader Keir Starmer and deputy Angela Rayner were cleared Friday in an investigation by Durham, UK cops over whether they violated COVID lockdown rules when they grabbed takeout food and beers in the town last year, Bloomberg reports.
Starmer and Rayner had pledged to resign if they were fined for breaking the rules as to draw a contrast with disgraced outgoing Prime Minister Boris Johnson’s “Partygate” scandal, which was the second-to-last major shitshow before Pinchygate ultimately brought the dumpy assclown down. “It has been concluded that there is no case to answer for a contravention of the regulations,” said Durham police in a statement, citing lockdown exceptions for “reasonably necessary work,” as reason the two would not be hit with a “fixed penalty notice.”