Categories
Uncategorized

National Zero Off-Topic: VOLCANOES!!!

Apropos of basically nothing, it’s time for a factoid-filled article about those mountains (well usually they’re mountains) that spew hot ash and lava: Volcanoes! That’s right, we’re just going to write a medium length essay about volcanoes without any connection whatsoever to current events. There aren’t any really noteworthy ongoing eruptions or major studies of volcanoes we know of that would serve as a bridge to run such a piece, but fuck it, we’re not going to let that stop us.

So getting to it, did you know that Kilauea in Hawaii and Mount St Helens in Washington State have about as much in common as a dolphin and a shark? They were formed and have erupted through the result of completely different geological processes but get lumped in together as volcanoes because of their superficial similarities. Kilauea is a shield volcano, formed via a hot spot – or a weak spot in Earth’s crust – where a concentrated plume of super hot lava melts through the bottom of the Pacific plate and breaches the surface. The Hawaiian Islands were all formed the same way, lava piling up and creating a land mass slowly over hundreds of millions of years before gradually eroding into the ocean. You can see the chain going all the way up to Siberia.

As the Pacific plate moves northward, pushed by the spreading of an oceanic ridge north of Antarctica, the hotspot in the mantle stays in the same place. If somehow the movement ceased, the Big Island of Hawaii would eventually grow to – well we have no fucking idea what would happen and the rest of the planet would have much bigger problems if plate tectonics stopped.

In the Cascades (and a lot of other places like Indonesia, Japan, the Aleutian Islands, the Andes, the Leeward Islands in the Caribbean, just to name a few), a completely different process powers the angry beast within those volcanoes. Just as the spreading of a ridge moves the Pacific plate above the Hawaiian hotspot, it pushes a smaller oceanic plate under the Northwest in what’s called subduction. As the seafloor Gorda and Juan De Fuca plates get subducted underneath the less dense North American plate, they take a shit ton of seawater with them. The friction of the rocks grinding together causes the water to boil and with nowhere to go, the vapor steadily becomes hot enough to melt the rock, which eventually causes bigger, uglier, and more destructive eruptions than the ones that happen in Hawaii. In some places the subduction occurs where one piece of oceanic crust gets pushed under another – the Aleutians, Indonesia – forming the islands from the stratovolcanoes growing from the seafloor above the subduction.

Great Sitkin Volcano near the Aleutian Island of Adak erupting in May 2021, photo by Finn Spitler/Alaska Public Media

These fuckers are also far more active than the ones in the Pacific Northwest. In continental Alaska and the Aleutian Islands, there have been at least 100 eruptions since 1900. It’s actually pretty hard to get a straight answer on that since so many have happened. Same with Indonesia. It’s like one big goddamned mess of volcanic activity. In the lower 48 meanwhile, a total of two have erupted since 1900: Lassen Peak in Northern California in 1915 through 1917 and Mount St Helens in 1980 and with interment activity afterward – most recently series of small eruptions from 2004 to 2008.

Anyway, subduction and hotspots are not the only two situations in which volcanism occurs. There are other means for volcanoes to form and erupt are much less easy to explain with any sort of brevity and our also outside of our admittedly simple understanding of the whole field of study, which is a shame because we’d really like to be able to tell you all the geological reasons why, for example, a volcano erupted near the Grand Canyon less than 1,000 years ago, or why other spots across the Western US that aren’t Yellowstone (also a hotspot, like Hawaii) or the Cascades have volcanoes that have erupted within the past 10,000 years. Colorado, Utah, New Mexico, Idaho, Nevada, Southern California – all of them have volcanoes which could erupt this century.

Well, let us know if we have to do some research and figure that shit out to follow up.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

WATCH LIVE: Orange God Emperor tours Los Angeles

2 hours ago

Harvard Law professor wastes valuable seconds explaining why dickhead Andy Ogles’s third term amendment going nowhere

2 hours ago

Navajo leader says tribe members being arrested by ICE

3 hours ago

Baby Goebbels pissed elementary school wouldn’t let ICE in

5 hours ago

New Jersey hit with sad, low-energy, weak earthquake

6 hours ago

Oklahoma AG requests DOJ transfer prisoner for prompt execution

7 hours ago

“Certainly I would not take responsibility”

8 hours ago

Trump pulls Fauci’s security detail

9 hours ago

Congolese governor killed in battle with rebels

9 hours ago

United Healthcare hires new CEO

10 hours ago

Demented old asshole doesn’t remember inviting Schiff on trip

10 hours ago

Border Patrol agent’s funeral apparently won’t be a campaign stop

11 hours ago

Fox News reports releasing violent felons from prison is bad

11 hours ago

Puerto Rico-born veteran detained in New Jersey ICE raid

12 hours ago

Orange Messiah to hold campaign rally in Las Vegas on Sunday

12 hours ago

Operation “Appearance of Mass Deportation Underway” underway

13 hours ago

High school dropout mistakenly screams over “guy” in ladies’ room

13 hours ago

Nobody got shot in New York City for five days

14 hours ago

Andy Ogles gunning hard for that pardon

1 day ago

“The problem is the president doesn’t have any leverage over him and Elon gives zero fucks”: Trump minion on AI project shitposts

1 day ago

Hegseth told Liz Warren he paid rape accuser $50,000

1 day ago

Nobody knows more about central banking

1 day ago

Orange Felon declassifies JFK, RFK, and MLK assassination files

1 day ago

Mike Johnson killed Cassidy Hutchinson subpoena over fears she would testify about sexually explicit texts House GOP sent her

1 day ago

Federal judge blocks Trump’s birthright citizenship order

1 day ago

FBI raids Rhode Island immigration lawyer’s office

1 day ago

Remote island off Antarctica in path of trillion-ton iceberg

1 day ago

WATCH LIVE: Globalist pretends he isn’t one in Davos address

1 day ago

Trump pulls security detail from Mike Pompeo, former top aide

1 day ago

Gasoline costs 3 cents more per gallon than it did a week ago

1 day ago

Ketamine Brain grateful for some Jew cred to back him up here

1 day ago

Nashville school shooter was influenced by Candace Owens

1 day ago

Fox News reports new Papist plot to undermine US sovereignty

2 days ago

“Episode 5 started with small spatter fountains”

2 days ago

Mississippi Dem intros “Life Begins at Erection” Act

2 days ago

Border Patrol ordered to summarily deport asylum claimants

2 days ago

“A country that lives in forest”

2 days ago

Orange Antichrist names zealot to lead US media agency

2 days ago

New fire threatens jail in Los Angeles County

2 days ago

Fired House Intel Chair worried replacement will be too focused on “Deep State” circlejerks rather than actual threats to America

2 days ago

Nancy Mace eyeing gubernatorial run

2 days ago

House GOP to continue investigating January 6th investigation

2 days ago

MAGA Congressman publicly badgers “moderate” colleague

2 days ago

Military to deploy 1,500 troops to border

2 days ago

Insurrectionist considering inviting pardonees to White House

2 days ago

Tim Burchett fucking sucks at whataboutery

2 days ago

Kremlin asset posts some kayfabe

2 days ago

Mike Johnson shreds presidential pardon abuse

2 days ago

Depressed fish healthier after being provided with fake humans

2 days ago

Floridians warned not to eat snow

2 days ago

x
x
x
x
x
x