Responding to a question from granny-faced Republican Louisiana Senator John Kennedy during a committee hearing on Tuesday, US Attorney General Merrick Garland said John Durham’s long-awaited report on his failed “Deep State” investigation – which resulted in zero days served in prison for the three guys who faced charges and only one of them was actually convicted for lying under oath about an unrelated matter – is coming “relatively soon,” Politico’s Josh Gerstein reports.

“Relatively soon” means probably like Christmas at the earliest. If you’re a lib thinking Fani Willis, Jack Smith, and Alvin Bragg are taking their sweet ass time try to picture yourself as a fanboy who thought the Durham Report was definitely, 110% coming before the 2020 election and would be the huge October surprise that would bring the entire Deep State to its knees. Bragg picked up a stalled investigation two months ago. Smith, four months. Willis has been at it for over two years, but she roped in a shit ton of testimony from Trump minions and could pull the trigger any day now.

Durham was appointed in April 2019. He was supposed to bring down Crooked Hillary, Pizza Guy Podesta, even Obama and Biden in his investigation. ONE guy pleaded guilty to lying under oath about falsifying paperwork. The other two were acquitted and the MAGA kids were reduced to crying that the trials weren’t fair because some of the jurors donated to Hillary. Sure it sucks having to read headlines like “Manhattan grand jury fucks off another week,” but imagine being a Trump fanboy reading this one, hoping that fucking Merrick Garland isn’t just trolling them.