Categories
Uncategorized

This fat fuck stole our joke

There’s something so goddamned aggravating about this shit Trump was saying to his ball-sucking cultists on Tuesday about the stock market going up because investors think he’s going to win the 2024 election. It was a switch from badmouthing it over the weekend, when he was saying it was just “making rich people richer.” He’ll probably even keep going with this “they think I’m going to win” argument to downplay already extremely solid numbers across so many different metrics continue to surge as expected next year when the Fed starts cutting interest rates again.

Bad faith bullshit as it is, that’s not what makes it so aggravating. The real problem is he fucking stole our joke from the October 6th National Zero “we’ll resume our regular coverage after this” satire piece titled “US employers add 336,000 jobs after seeing Trump lead in polls,” in which we wrote the job growth came “in anticipation of the greatest economy president ever being sworn into office again in 15 months. They also increased wages by 4.2 percent over 3.7 percent inflation just to give your wallet a sweet happy memory of what it was like. Your wallet misses Trump.”

No, Donald wasn’t aware and didn’t do it on purpose, but this imitation is not the sincerest form of flattery. It’s different from simply making a correct call like, for example, when we were right about the MAGA assholes raging over Jesus dork Mike Johnson blurring out the faces in the Capitol riot footage as that prevented them from “identifying” the “Antifa” and “FBI” fifth columnists. This sort of situation feels dirty, almost like “retroactive jealousy” where some people get freaked out over their partner’s sexual history, even as the “retroactive” part definitionally means one has no agency in it.

Trump cheapened the joke’s inspiration by making it real. That it wasn’t that hard to come up with given our fluency in the just fucking gutter-level bad faith of him and his minions didn’t make it any less funny… Or this transgression feel any less of a personal insult. This is even worse than the time that Hugh Hewitt dipshit vowed that Trump would have the opportunity to prove the 2020 election was really stolen from him in the discovery process when Jack Smith’s grand jury indicted the fat fuck for the post-2020 election coup attempt less than eight hours after we had jokingly written the same thing. Actually looking back at our estimate of the intellectual dishonesty of Trump fanboys being validated so quickly feels better now. Maybe there’s hope for healing on this one too.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

Grijalva says she was pepper-sprayed by some ICE asshole

8 minutes ago

MAGA Florida gov hopeful’s former underage girlfriend speaks up

5 hours ago

Brian Cole was all in on “Stop the Steal”

5 hours ago

Total alpha just oozes confidence in GOP’s healthcare strategy

6 hours ago

Netflix buying up Warner Bros… in theory

8 hours ago

K$H used FBI agents as Uber drivers for his woman’s drunk friends

9 hours ago

Chicago’s Christians too liberal, says Jewish conservative

9 hours ago

ChiComs impose 13 percent tax on condoms

10 hours ago

Bondi commands DOJ to pursue evil leftist groups

11 hours ago

Toy Soldiers, or why you only matter if Democrats can be blamed

17 hours ago

“Shade” is “Gen-Z slang for ‘disrespect'”: MassLive.com

18 hours ago

Navy pew-pews 22nd “narcoterrorist” boat

19 hours ago

WATCH LIVE: Miserable old bastard lights up Christmas tree

21 hours ago

Supreme Court allows Texas to use gerrymandered map

21 hours ago

Virginia grand jury no bills regime’s retry against Letitia James

22 hours ago

WHOA, T-minus 16 minutes people!

23 hours ago

Newly-freed MAGA terrorist Taranto spotted near Raskin’s home

24 hours ago

Car thief to stay put in California

1 day ago

“Tonight is a sign 2026 is going to be a bitch of an election cycle”

1 day ago

Nevada hit with 5.9 magnitude quake: malfunctioning USGS alert

1 day ago

Crazy grandpa to restart domestic travel next year: report

1 day ago

WATCH LIVE: Orange Warlord takes credit for Congo peace deal

1 day ago

Bari Weiss to host “town hall” with Erika Kirk

1 day ago

Brian Cole named in DC pipe bombing attempts

1 day ago

Most ACA enrollees to blame Trump/Republicans if costs spike: poll

1 day ago

Susan Collins fans may want to be concerned

1 day ago

Regime giving Letitia James case a second go

1 day ago

Eric Adams signs order banning divestment from Israel

1 day ago

Mike Johnson trying to remove IVF funding from NDAA

1 day ago

FBI arrests January 6th pipe bomb suspect: reports

1 day ago

Georgia state GOP official caught sexting 14 year-old boy

1 day ago

Oregon has crabs again… Chinese ones

2 days ago

Gateway Pundit reports Hegseth failed to purge DEI from military

2 days ago

Missouri libs to submit anti-gerrymandering petition next week

2 days ago

Mike Lindell still alive, to run for Minnesota governor

2 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Orange Grandpa rambles about the usual shit

2 days ago

Mike Johnson now opposed to stock trading ban

2 days ago

Family of dead Colombian fisherman files complaint against US

2 days ago

Markwayne alleges Obama war crime to defend Hegseth war crime

2 days ago

Massachusetts man’s browser history consistent with defense that he didn’t murder wife, only carved up and disposed of her corpse

2 days ago

Chickenshit Jim Jordan subpoenas Jack Smith for closed depo

2 days ago

Benny Johnson wants Omar deported for badmouthing the elderly

2 days ago

Orange Idiot pardons sitting Dem Congressman Henry Cuellar

2 days ago

Surprise! Johnson to swear Van Epps in this week

2 days ago

MAGA Senator suddenly real ignorant about drug cartels

2 days ago

DHS invades New Orleans

2 days ago

ADP jobs report pretty ugly

2 days ago

Evil Jew Soros controlling Congresswoman: Jewish right winger

2 days ago

Matt Van Epps defeats Aftyn Behn in Tennessee’s 7th

3 days ago

Former New Jersey Gov Jim McGreevy crushed in mayoral election

3 days ago

x
x
x
x
x
x