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This fat fuck stole our joke

There’s something so goddamned aggravating about this shit Trump was saying to his ball-sucking cultists on Tuesday about the stock market going up because investors think he’s going to win the 2024 election. It was a switch from badmouthing it over the weekend, when he was saying it was just “making rich people richer.” He’ll probably even keep going with this “they think I’m going to win” argument to downplay already extremely solid numbers across so many different metrics continue to surge as expected next year when the Fed starts cutting interest rates again.

Bad faith bullshit as it is, that’s not what makes it so aggravating. The real problem is he fucking stole our joke from the October 6th National Zero “we’ll resume our regular coverage after this” satire piece titled “US employers add 336,000 jobs after seeing Trump lead in polls,” in which we wrote the job growth came “in anticipation of the greatest economy president ever being sworn into office again in 15 months. They also increased wages by 4.2 percent over 3.7 percent inflation just to give your wallet a sweet happy memory of what it was like. Your wallet misses Trump.”

No, Donald wasn’t aware and didn’t do it on purpose, but this imitation is not the sincerest form of flattery. It’s different from simply making a correct call like, for example, when we were right about the MAGA assholes raging over Jesus dork Mike Johnson blurring out the faces in the Capitol riot footage as that prevented them from “identifying” the “Antifa” and “FBI” fifth columnists. This sort of situation feels dirty, almost like “retroactive jealousy” where some people get freaked out over their partner’s sexual history, even as the “retroactive” part definitionally means one has no agency in it.

Trump cheapened the joke’s inspiration by making it real. That it wasn’t that hard to come up with given our fluency in the just fucking gutter-level bad faith of him and his minions didn’t make it any less funny… Or this transgression feel any less of a personal insult. This is even worse than the time that Hugh Hewitt dipshit vowed that Trump would have the opportunity to prove the 2020 election was really stolen from him in the discovery process when Jack Smith’s grand jury indicted the fat fuck for the post-2020 election coup attempt less than eight hours after we had jokingly written the same thing. Actually looking back at our estimate of the intellectual dishonesty of Trump fanboys being validated so quickly feels better now. Maybe there’s hope for healing on this one too.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

Random thoughts Friday, Volume CCI

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