Theory: Donald Trump’s entry into a market signals its imminent downfall. Evidence: Trump Mortgage, launched in 2006 less than a year before the real estate collapse; NFTs issued in December 2022 after the market’s peak earlier that year; and of course, the Republican Party.
We can now add the collectible sneaker market to the list. After losing nearly half a billion dollars in a New York civil trial, Donald Trump traveled to Philadelphia to announce the launch of his own sneaker line, available at GetTrumpSneakers.com–which, if you’re concerned, has a strict three-pair limit. The top-line Never Surrender High-Tops, limited to 1,000 pairs because they apparently ran out of spray paint, have already sold out (reportedly). Lesser styles are still available, for just $199.
But the site is not just for sneakerheads! You can also pick up your very own bottle of Victory47 Cologne by President Trump–with the first 1,000 bottles individually numbered–for just $99, a bargain for smelly water that likely smells suspicious like Empire by Donald Trump (circa 2015) or Donald Trump: The Fragrance (2004).