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- We always understood the Supreme Court was political. We now know it’s partisan, too.
- First question to Trump from any legit journalist after this current trial is over (or if he’s stupid enough to take the stand): “How many other catch-and-kill arrangements did you have, Mr. Trump?”
- I’m certain that at every Trump rally held during the Manhattan criminal trial, a lawyer will be handling a microphone kill switch. “And I just wanna say about that weaselly judg– [zzzzzzzppffft]…(47 seconds of the Muzak version of “Man from Ipanema” plays over the loudspeakers)…award-winning clubs I own. It’s a beautiful golf course, some say one of the best in the world…”
- Biden’s interview with Howard Stern put the President in the ears of millions of usually apolitical listeners who now better understand Biden’s successes and Trump’s persistent weaknesses. Alternative media is the way to reach the people, so if campaigns want to reach out, my email is jack@nationalzero.com. (I’m here for you, Mr. President.)
- This is the time of year to recall the horror of Melania’s White House Rose Garden disaster.
- John Sauer, Trump’s lawyer, argued before SCOTUS that the assassination of an American political opponent is within the bounds of the authority of the President. Hear that, Joe? Trump’s own lawyer wants him taken out.
- With the Arizona indictments, the Trump network set up to overturn the 2020 election has been indicted on local, state, and federal levels, from the Elite East to the Deep South to the Wild West. It was a wide-ranging conspiracy, and it’s being prosecuted as such.
- Kristi Noem admits she murdered her dog out of hatred, then with blood lust, she killed a goat. She did so without telling her family or children not just that they were losing their pets, but that she killed them. Her daughter came home from school and asked, “Where’s Cricket?” That is not alright. That is not okay. That is not normal.
- From the questioning in the Trump immunity case, the men on the Supreme Court seem to think January 6th wasn’t an attempt to overthrow the government, a view which most certainly would’ve been different if part of the crowd had headed to the Supreme Court that day, as was the plan. Perhaps they’re thanking Trump for directing everyone to the CAPitol.
- I don’t believe this is the first time Trump’s been gagged, but it may be the first time it doesn’t involve pleather.
- Looking directly into the cameras, Trump acknowledging Melania’s birthday as he walks into a trial about his illegal effort to cover up multiple extramarital affairs is on-brand for Trump.
- People once rioted in Amsterdam because the government banned the game of eel pulling, saying it was “cruel public entertainment”–not to the eels, but to the boaters who fell in the water. Twenty-six people died over two days in 1886 as rioters battled police over eel pulling. MAGAts lack commitment. Eel pullers: they’re devoted.
- Also on-brand: the head of the GOP election integrity effort being indicted in Arizona as part of election interference conspiracy. Stick with what you know.
- Karen McDougal was such a non-celebrity when she had her affair with Trump that she wasn’t even considered for a reality television show, not even The Apprentice. She was so far lower than D-list celebrities she wasn’t considered for Dancing with the Stars or even a “deep cable” celebrity reality series.
- Consider the Pistachio Coconut Blondie. Consider it seriously. You’ll thank me.
- The King of classic Saturday morning cartoons has to be Scooby Doo. If you take out the disaster that was Scrappy Doo–the Oliver Brady of the series–it’s solid from end to end, especially the guest stars. The Warner Bros./Looney Tunes takes second; SuperFriends third. And no, I do not include their current incarnations, nor do I understand anything the studios did to turn them into “kids” or “babies.”
- Why is Clarence Thomas listening to January 6th cases? Why the fuck is Clarence Thomas still on the Court at all?
