Categories
Uncategorized

Russian Orthodox leader tells conscripts they’ll be resurrected

Though the situation on the ground in Ukraine has been better for them lately thanks to Republicans in Congress taking way too fucking long to send more aid to Kyiv, Russian military conscripts still have it pretty rough and leaders are looking for new ways to make it seem like less of a violent nightmare to those bound for the front. The Daily Beast reports one Russian Orthodox Church leader has conjured up a new way to improve morale: Tell men they can be miraculously resurrected.

“In war, there are no unbelievers! When you are facing physical death, every fiber of your soul comes alive. Right now, there are many wonderful testimonies of Christ’s victory over death. My wife sends me many military testimonies and video clips. Before Lent, I watched a video about one Chinese man who participated in the special military operation. A bullet hit him in the stomach, destroying all of his insides. He died from this and then was resurrected,” Russian Orthodox Church Archpriest Artemiy Vladimirov said during a bit on Russia’s state-run version of Fox News earlier this month.

“Saint Luke of Crimea appeared to him and completely healed him, his insides were fully restored. He was baptized along with his relatives, all of them are photographed together, dressed in white clothes, baptized into our Orthodox Church,” Vladmirov continued, unsubtly telling fans of the Soyuz TV network they could be resurrected in combat too if they just have some faith in the Holy Kremlin.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

Judge tosses Ketamine Brain v Twitter Ad Boycotters

1 hour ago

CPAC incel fan-con Day 1: Watch Live

2 hours ago

Cooper 49 – Whatley 41 in North Carolina: poll

2 hours ago

Regime offering $3 million and asylum for info on Haitian gangs

3 hours ago

WATCH LIVE: Decaying corpse holds cabinet meeting

5 hours ago

IOC bans trans athletes from female sports

5 hours ago

Kamala Harris packs schedule with fundraisers across South

5 hours ago

Rising MAGA star all in on tweets boosting GOP midterm prospects

5 hours ago

Rural Nevada county GOP chair vows to “fight, fight, fight 100 percent, very much like Trump” against Trump DOJ “witch hunt”

6 hours ago

House Intel chair just can’t do a “Sir, thank you” yarn like the old man

7 hours ago

MAGA Wisconsin man to face trial on water park jack off incident

7 hours ago

Grandpa having a rough morning

8 hours ago

WATCH LIVE: Orange God Emperor addresses his supplicants

20 hours ago

Fannie Man tries again on Letitia James criminal referrals

20 hours ago

Mortgage rates hits 6.43 percent

21 hours ago

Corey Lewandowski evidently declines firing from government

21 hours ago

Seven Chinese dognapping victims escape butcher, journey home

22 hours ago

White House turns down Ketamine Brain’s offer to pay TSA

22 hours ago

Senate GOP still pretending on SAVE Act: Watch live

23 hours ago

Regime “settles” with Mike Flynn

23 hours ago

Jaydee’s Budapest Blast set for April 7-8th

1 day ago

WATCH LIVE: Karoline’s Kampf

1 day ago

Fourth Musketeer’s skeleton possibly found in Netherlands

1 day ago

Fat idiot adds misplaced apostrophe to self-contradictory lie

1 day ago

Fox News guy not cutting Jesus Dork any slack, at all

1 day ago

White House oligarch council named

1 day ago

“Lol, no”: Iranians on Trump ceasefire offer

1 day ago

Farm bailout champion alleges Blue States using food stamps and other welfare benefits to buy voters off and keep Dems in power

1 day ago

Military officials brief toddler with video reel of “stuff blowing up”

1 day ago

Raskin says Trump had financial motive for stealing docs

1 day ago

Unintelligence official accuses Mike Flynn, etc of treason

1 day ago

Dem flips Palm Beach Florida state House seat

2 days ago

Orange Man endorses Orban, again, for like the third time this year

2 days ago

John Brennan under criminal investigation

2 days ago

North Carolina state Senate President concedes primary defeat

2 days ago

Top Box-o-Wine lieutenant admitted there’s no case against Powell

2 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Markwayne sworn in as second choice after Noem

2 days ago

Florida lawmakers end session before banning synthetic opioid

2 days ago

Ted Cruz hails the courage of Republican Senators who stood up to corrupt, dangerous president and forced him to resign in shame

2 days ago

Steve Bannon gets excited about deploying ICE for midterms again

2 days ago

Delta suspends special Congressional fast lane

2 days ago

Cornhole amped to piss away $200 billion on another forever war

2 days ago

Groomer just completely screwed in Tennessee GOP gov primary

2 days ago

Trump to host notorious Jeffrey Epstein accomplice’s brother

2 days ago

Couchman outraged at air travelers mocking, heckling ICE agents

2 days ago

Jaydee privately rips into Netanyahu over West Bank settler rioting

2 days ago

Fat Hitler votes by mail, again

2 days ago

Bloomberg reports lobster in life vest a symbol of business peril

2 days ago

You’ll never guess who cut off a dead raccoon’s cock and saved it

3 days ago

Oversharing online in 2026: Is now the time?

3 days ago

x
x
x
x
x
x