“President Biden knew about, participated in, and benefited from his family’s influence peddling conspiracy. While President Biden to date has avoided accountability for his corruption, the Committees are dedicated to ensuring that political influence is not for sale and that those entrusted to hold public office are committed only to promoting the country’s interests, not their own.”

“Although the Committees’ fact-finding is ongoing amid President Biden’s obstruction, the evidence uncovered in the impeachment inquiry to date already amounts to impeachable conduct. The Committees present this information to the House of Representatives for its evaluation and consideration of appropriate next steps,” says what Punchbowl News describes as a “key section” of the 300-page report from the “impeachment inquiry” that less than a year ago they were happy to help hype the “momentum” and sell it as leading to an inevitable vote on articles of impeachment against the “Biden Crime Family,” even though James Comer, Jim Jordan, and Jason Smith and the rest of those clowns were very fucking obviously working backwards from that predetermined outcome.

Or were trying to, as this report will now stand as a monument to their failure that was the real inevitability here, even before Biden stepped aside. Punchbowl writes “top Republicans have claimed from the outset that their goal wasn’t to impeach Biden, arguing it was purely a fact-finding mission. But by many accounts, the investigation failed to deliver on some of the GOP’s biggest claims” which, while factually accurate, does nothing even close to addressing their complicity in helping House Republicans (and their loser former Speaker) to hype this circlejerk from last year.

“The reality for the 58-year-old, nine-term McCarthy is that once he opens an impeachment inquiry, it’s almost guaranteed that House Republicans will impeach Biden,” they printed on September 12, 2023, at the very least blithely, if not happily and willingly for a feckless tomato can of a politician who isn’t even a Congressman anymore, let alone Speaker of the House. We’ll let ourselves be surprised if anyone from Punchbowl comes around and says “Hey we fucked up… Looking back it was actually pretty embarrassing how we let ourselves get dogwalked into printing this.” But we don’t see that as inevitable because we’re capable of managing our expectations.