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Cranky shark finally snaps at obnoxious, selfie-taking tourist

A shark clearly beyond sick and tired of these fucking tourists with their goddamned selfies in its natural habitat took its rage out on a 55 year-old Canadian in the shallows at a beach on Turks and Caicos last week, chomping off both her hands as she attempted to take a pic with it, NDTV reports.

In a statement, the Caribbean British territory’s government left out that specific detail and the woman’s nationality, writing, “On Friday 7th February a tourist was injured by a shark in the waters adjacent to Blue Hills, Providenciales. The individual was taken to Cheshire Hall Medical Centre where she was stabilized and later flown off island for further medical care. Upon confirmation of the incident the Department of Environment and Coastal Resources (DECR) issued a beach closure notification from Thompson’s Cove Beach to Froggies ATV, Blue Hills in an abundance of caution.”

“The beach was reopened on Sunday, February 9th at 1pm after it was determined that the shark had moved to deeper water. The shark was estimated to be approximately 6 ft in length, however the species is yet to be confirmed. Further to the investigation, it has been determined that the tourist had attempted to engage with the animal from the shallows in an attempt to take photographs. The DECR would like to urge the public to always be aware of your surroundings, follow local advisories, and respect marine life. Swim in designated areas, avoid murky waters, never swim alone, and do not attempt to feed marine wildlife under any circumstances.”

Definitely some intentional shade in that last part about not feeding marine wildlife.

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