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Pope fires MAGA New York City Cardinal

“The Holy Father has accepted the resignation from the pastoral care of the metropolitan archdiocese of New York, United States of America, presented by His Eminence Cardinal Timothy M Dolan. The Holy Father has appointed Bishop Ronald A Hicks as metropolitan archbishop of New York, United States of America, transferring him from the diocese of Joliet in Illinois, United States of America,” said the Vatican in an announcement on Thursday, closing the book on Dolan’s career.

At first glance some might take issue with “fires” in the headline when the announcement made it sound like Dolan did this of his own volition. The truth isn’t all that difficult to understand though: When every bishop turns 75 they’re required to submit a letter of resignation to the Pope, which Dolan did when he reached that age on February 6th, sending it to the now-late Pope Francis. The acceptance of the resignation then becomes a matter of the boss’s discretion – up until a cardinal turns 80 and retirement becomes mandatory. Francis chose not to exercise it with Dolan, possibly due to indisposition and declining health being obviously a bigger deal in Francis’s final weeks.

It’s harder to come up with a more charitable read of why Francis’s successor Leo XIV pulled the trigger on Dolan, now only the fourth cardinal between 75 and 79 to be canned since Leo’s ascendance. About 40 percent of all the currently serving cardinals are in that age range and a gentleman’s agreement from 1983 that the 75-79s be allowed to continue was honored to varying degrees by Popes John Paul II and Benedict XVI. Maybe Leo XIV is cleaning house and it’s simply a human resources matter of screening the right successors for the 40-odd cardinals in that range.

Either way, it’s difficult to avoid noticing the timing here given that Dolan’s a Trump fanboy who in September went on Fox and Friends to gush about how, after Charlie Kirk was assassinated, Dolan thought to himself “‘I’ve got to learn about this guy,’ and the more I learned about him, I thought, ‘this guy’s a modern-day St Paul.'” Oh and he led prayers at both of the Orange Satan’s inaugurations.

Timothy’s been forgiven for his sins of idolatry. He still must atone for them by working the B-shift at St Patrick’s until he gets hit by a malfunctioning Waymo while crossing Fifth Avenue to get a donut.

Or dies of natural causes in the old priests’ home about 15 or 20 years from now. Whatever.

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