Categories
Uncategorized

Baby Jessica fell into a jail cell

The now-40 year-old woman whose toddler-hood adventure inspired the smash-hit Beau Bridges and Patty Duke made-for-TV-movie Everybody’s Baby: The Rescue of Jessica McClure found herself at least temporarily confined within a hard concrete structure in Midland, Texas again this week and this time it was kind of her fault rather than her idiot aunt’s. KMID reports that McClure, now McClure-Morales, was arrested Saturday night following a reported domestic disturbance at her home and was subsequently charged with assault causing bodily injury involving family violence.

Further details were unavailable, like if she threatened to throw her husband and/or kids down a well so they can fucking see how it feels to be trapped in one of those things for 58 fucking hours.

The full police report on the arrest will not be released until some time next week. Until then and once again, recommended reading for those who haven’t clicked the last two or three times National Zero recommended it: The New York Times’s 1995 feature on Robert O’Donnell, the firefighter who was the one to free McClure from the well but then spiraled into depression in the aftermath and subsequently committed suicide. Rob’s tragic end is not funny, the rest of the story is fucking hilarious. The part about there being two separate factions of rescuers – the McClure Rescue Association and the Jessica McClure Rescuers’ Association – formed to fight each other over the royalties from the TV movie when it eventually got made, is the most Simpsons-esque thing in real life ever and arguably even funnier than the “Timmy O’Toole” episode obviously inspired by Jessica.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

Tyler Robinson trial to be televised

16 hours ago

WATCH LIVE: Orange Corpse makes everyone feel worse

22 hours ago

Virginia Supreme Court overturns redistricting referendum

1 day ago

Regime releases 162 boring UFO files

1 day ago

John Solomon reports K$H just swinging for the fences now

1 day ago

Labour takes a savage beating in local UK elections

1 day ago

Comey tries to duck next court appearance

1 day ago

“That bitch”

2 days ago

US bombs Iranian port but war totally not starting again

2 days ago

Mike Huckabee deeply disappointed in his manchildhood hero

2 days ago

Lula leaves White House without scheduled joint media hit

2 days ago

Chinese oil tanker hit by Iranian fire in Strait of Hormuz

2 days ago

Supreme Court to testify at Senate hearing on May 20th

2 days ago

Lower-profile MAGA outlet airs the rage porn Fox News won’t

2 days ago

Karoline, grandfatherly-aged husband welcome baby girl

2 days ago

The Brainworm turns

2 days ago

Orange Karen screams for Jeffries to be charged

2 days ago

Raisin-textured man confronted with dismal MSM poll on Newsmax

2 days ago

Average gas price increase inches toward price Trump promised

2 days ago

Tim Scott says he thinks “there is a good chance that we will be able to expand the majority if everything goes our way”

2 days ago

President Trump forcefully counters narrative of him as nearly dead

2 days ago

Israel still bombing Gaza

2 days ago

Concern Lady admits to neurological condition

2 days ago

Orange Fuhrer claims Pope wants Iran to have a nuclear weapon

3 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Robo-wife and Catheter Cushion play pretend

3 days ago

Reich FBI raids Virginia state senate president’s offices

3 days ago

Ted Turner has died

3 days ago

K$H launches witch hunt to find out who “lied” about him

3 days ago

Fox News reports vice president has gone completely woke

3 days ago

Insecure tyrant unwilling to commit to false victory narrative

3 days ago

Jesus Trump post’s approval rating could use some work

3 days ago

Howard Nutlick has rough morning of testimony ahead

3 days ago

Wall Street Journal reports OpenAI suppressing truth about goblins

3 days ago

Putsch fails

4 days ago

Unstable man’s mood swings again

4 days ago

Regime DEI purge missed wannabe Trump assassin at FAA

4 days ago

“Presidential fitness” to be said with a straight face: Watch live

4 days ago

Putsch aims to topple Ramaswamy in Ohio

4 days ago

Trade deficit increase quantifies Trump failure on his own terms

4 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Boozebreath and General Tendies battle media

4 days ago

US sends Iran a message by blowing up boat in Carribbean

4 days ago

One more cringey misappropriation of Star Wars for the road…

4 days ago

MAGA Congressman Chuck Edwards likes his staffers young

4 days ago

The words “Biden” and “Buttigieg” absent from Spirit’s bankruptcy

5 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Trump another day closer to death

5 days ago

Cranky old asshole a little late on the “fact check” on ABC News

5 days ago

Orange Ayatollah threatening to wipe Iran out again

5 days ago

May 4th tradition of cringey desecration continues apace

5 days ago

Supreme Court unblocks abortion drug availability

5 days ago

Senate GOP members drafting war authorization act

5 days ago

x
x
x
x
x
x