A judge in Indiana last week allowed generational talent Joey Chestnut to travel outside the Hoosier State to compete in the annual July 4th Nathan’s Coney Island Hot Dog Eating Contest, the AP reports on a legal wrinkle smoothed over as Chestnut’s 180 probation sentence for drunkenly smacking some guy in the face at a bar on March 21st will still be in effect on the Fourth.

“This incident did not violate Major League Eating’s code of conduct, as it occurred outside any organizational event or activity and it was addressed by local authorities,” Richard Shea, the co-founder and president of Major League Eating, said of the altercation for which Chestnut pleaded guilty to on April 20th. Well that’s complete bullshit as if the victim had been a woman or a child or it had been a broken bottle instead of a smack or it was sexual assault or whatever else you want to imagine then Shea would have found the “code of conduct” to apply in one way or another. Chestnut smacked a guy under unclear circumstances, was so drunk he didn’t remember it, pleaded guilty to misdemeanor battery, the judge smacked him with 180 days of probation but let him leave the state to try to eat a normally-lethal amount of hot dogs to try to win for the 18th time and that’s it.

No need for this Major League Eating assclown to do the PR arithmetic out loud and come well shy of even a condemnation for Chestnut. Especially after they fucking banned him in 2024 for doing a goddamned vegan hot dog ad but then reversed it the next year when they realized it was stupid.