Whatever happened to Christopher Steele? Where the hell is he when we need a handsome, strong-jawed British super-spy to drive an armored Aston Martin through the lobby of a San Francisco office tower, emerge from the smoke to shoot about a half dozen suit-wearing security mercs in the head with a silenced Walther PPK, and confront this megalomaniacal son of a bitch in the middle of his newest cyber superweapon’s quantum mega-server center. Then, after a three-to-five minute struggle where Karp proves to be much more adept at close-quarters knife combat than anyone had expected, Steele shoves the CEO off of a catwalk to be impaled by a piece of jagged metal piping while the electricity arcs and flames erupt from the wreckage, with Steele escaping just as the $20 billion skyscraper lists and then collapses into the chilly, swirling waters of the Bay.

Then cut to Steele relaxing on a beach in Tahiti with Karp’s statuesque executive assistant Divina Brestlove, who turned against her psychotic boss and provided Steele with the secret algorithm needed to overload the Palantir tower’s power core just before the final assault on the building.

“CHRISTOPHER STEELE WILL RETURN” the credits will stop at, just as Meghan Trainor hits the crescendo with “And he’s danger for reeeeeaaalllll…. He’s Christopher Steeeeeeele… He’s licensed to kill, and the ladies to thrilllllllll to a man of Steele willllllllll… Don’t get in his dossier, or you will live to regret the dayyyy… Christopher Steeeeeeele, for realllll… Deadly British super-spyyyyyyy!!!”

And fuck this sociopath. He’s panicking because he’s realized he’s overdone the fascism shit and the future just may hold actual consequences for inflicting his inadequacies on the world.