President Joe Biden on Monday used the sacred American tradition of the annual White House Turkey Pardon Ceremony to mock the concerns of real citizens who have lost faith in the election system. “The votes are in… there’s no ballot stuffing, there’s no fowl play – the only ‘red wave’ this season is going to be a German Shepherd, Commander, that knocks over the cranberry sauce on our table,” said Biden, making corny jokes at the expense of Republican voters who paid $30 to watch “2000 Mules,” which is no laughing matter. These people feel like their country is being stolen from them by absentee ballots and dumb Thanksgiving puns are offensive and insulting. Biden might as well be saying “Fuck your feelings” to the 74 million who cast a ballot for America First in 2020.
National Zero will resume our regular coverage now that we’ve feigned sympathy for our right wing readers’ bottomless feelings of victimhood. They ought to be very thankful for this.