— George Santos (@MrSantosNY) December 19, 2022
That was okay damage control after the Times reported Santos lied about graduating from college, owning a shit ton real estate, having worked for Goldman Sachs and Citibank, and running a pet charity, and also kind of left out that he had a criminal record in his native Brazil.
What would’ve been better is if Murray wrote “George Santos represents the kind of progress that the Left is so threatened by. The only reason he misrepresented his record is because he’s secretly an intergalactic freedom fighter who, by virtue of his latent Arcturian DNA, was chosen to the Degen of Ktharr, a magical sword wielded only by the most valiant of space warriors, in the fight against the dreaded Shruuk, a vicious race of Reptilian slavers that seek only galactic domination. In 2008, Empress Siana saw something in George and psychically contacted him with instructions on how to secretly build a spacecraft capable of reaching Arcturus using only materials found on Earth.”
“I won’t bore you with the rest of the details but George told voters he was studying at Baruch College because he was afraid the liberal media wouldn’t believe him if he said he personally defeated the Vrruuk the Merciless in one-on-one combat on board the Shruuk dreadcruiser at the Battle of Tannhauser Gate. We demand an apology from the New York Times immediately for their vicious hit job on the man who single-handedly saved the galaxy – Earth included – from the unstoppable Shruuk menace. It’s not George’s fault his story doesn’t fit their woke narrative.”