A total fucking prick mountain lion is being sought by Colorado wildlife officials after it snuck up on a man enjoying a soak in a hot tub at a rental home in Nathrop on Saturday, the AP reports.
The man and his wife were able to scare the dickhead off and run inside the house as the lion continued to watch them from the top of a nearby hill. They then immediately called the homeowner, who just happens to be an official with Colorado Parks and Wildlife. Responding officials were unable to track the lion in the frozen snow, but set a trap and will continue to monitor the area. The man and his wife self-treated the superficial wounds and he did not require hospitalization.
“We think it’s likely the mountain lion saw the man’s head move in the darkness at ground-level but didn’t recognize the people in the hot tub,” said area wildlife manager Sean Shepherd. “The couple did the right thing by making noise and shining a light on the [complete fucking cock knob].”