British man jailed just for trying to make people laugh

A 30 year-old Essex, England man is in big trouble after the uptight stiffs at the Basildon Crown Court decided he wasn’t so funny, Sky News reports on the 35 month bid Thomas Salton is facing for getting caught with nearly 500 canisters of nitrous oxide, aka laughing gas.

The 1,013 grams of ketamine and £39,000 in cash Salton was caught with were no laughing matter either. Maybe he should’ve sold bootleg Monty Python DVDs instead. Those are supposedly hilarious. The boomers really love the ones with the Spanish Inquisition and the dead parrot.

Venezuelan forces lay siege to Argentinian embassy in Caracas

Fox News reports wokeness ruining country music industry

Philippines Vice President Sara Duterte says she’s ordered assassin to kill President Ferdinand Marcos immediately if/when she is killed

Random thoughts Friday, Volume CCI

Hungarian Nazi enthusiast named to National Security post

We’re gonna miss him when he’s gone

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Maine Republican declared winner of election for state seat by one vote after being arrested for choking wife in October

Canadian Clustertruck captain convicted

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Matt Gaetz says he won’t be back in Congress on January 3rd

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MAGA Land urges children to sacrifice new toys for America First

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New York man actually laser eye-memes fucking Kevin McCarthy

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Matt Gaetz pulls out before things got even more messy

Republicans don’t actually know how mass deportation will work

MAGA propagandists put on nominee defense duty

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Allegation: Hegseth drugged, sexually assaulted woman

ICC issues arrest warrant for Netanyahu

Bobby Jr agreed that Trump fans are “Nazis” back in 2016

Florida man arrested for planning to bomb Wall Street

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Not The Onion: Alex Jones sues Sandy Hook families, The Onion

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House Ethics fails to agree to release Gaetz investigation report

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Orange Pharaoh rages over pushback to his shitty picks

Laken Riley’s killer convicted

Bald asshole former acting AG gets NATO ambassador nod

Grindr user “SenatorPartySlut1776” complies with blackmail terms

Freeman and Moss ask judge to hold Rudy in contempt

Jaydee stuck trying to sell Senate GOP on Gaetz

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Walmart CFO says they’re getting ready to jack up prices

US Embassy in Kyiv shuts down over anticipated Russian attack

AG-designate Gaetz helped pay $10K in tuition for two underprivileged sex workers, Committee investigation found

Wrestling executive to head US Education Department

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SpaceX landing aborted with Donald watching

Senate approves RFK takeover

Mehmet Oz to run Medicare and Medicaid for Trump Reich