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Random thoughts Friday, Volume CLXVI

  • After two of his witnesses were disclosed as foreign agents, after he failed to produce the check for $10 million made out to “Joseph Biden” from the Communist Chinese government he claimed he saw, and after a witness said in sworn testimony that the Republicans are chasing talking points planted by Russia, House Oversight Committee Chair Jamie Comer announced he has invited the President of the United States to testify to his committee as part of an impeachment probe that has never presented a bit of evidence of any wrongdoing.  Talk about performance art.
  • The Founding Fathers would be aghast at the direct meshing of the nation’s establishing documents with a religious text, and they’d have a collective aneurysm at the prospect of a leading presidential candidate selling Bibles in ads.  The Declaration and Constitution make no endorsement of religions, God or Jesus for a reason:  Religion is not a part of our government.
  • Joe Lieberman was Joe Manchin twenty years before Kyrsten Sinema.
  • Donald Trump made a few billion (on paper) with the Trump Media introduction to the stock market.  So that means he doesn’t need anyone else’s money for his legal fees or his campaign, right?  Because he’s really rich, right?
  • The longest five minutes on Earth are the final thirty seconds of a college basketball game.
  • Hey, judges that aren’t enforcing gag orders:  it’s not only about you.  It’s about the entire judicial system:  judges, clerks, officers, and stenographers. It’s about current witnesses and future witnesses, in this case and every other one.  It’s about whoever he wants to name just to throw chaos and fear into their lives.  Not standing up to him is the two-tiered justice system he claims to decry but actually benefits from.
  • I’ve never liked driving on long, elevated bridges, like the Bay Bridge or the Sunshine Skyway Bridge, or the Key Bridge used to be.  The rise above the water is disconcerting to me, as is the “plummet” after the top.  I’ve driven over plenty of them in my life, and can never get over the fear that the car will fly off the edge unexpectedly.
  • It’s a little unfair to have Biden onstage with Clinton and Obama.  Not that Biden can’t hold his own, but the other two are such superior communicators they put others to shame.  Few living today will have a president who speaks to people better than Clinton or Obama.  Reagan’s reputation was made by his speechwriters, but Bill and Barack understand how to speak to the community.
  • I won’t rule out Trump launching the “Trump Residential Underwriting Marketing Program,” allowing supporters to sponsor a square foot of Trump’s palatial 30,000 square-foot apartment in Manhattan, like a PSL for a pro sports team, to raise money.  Prices vary depending on location: The laundry room is cheap, Melania’s bedroom more, and Trump’s bathroom top tier.  You never get a chance to actually visit your space:  you just know you own a foot of Trump’s apartment that he lives in, because they’ll send you a certificate.
  • Adjust your conversion tables:  1 RRM = ½ Scaramucci.
  • Back when the Washington Post had its acclaimed Peeps diorama contest, I wanted to construct the RNC convention in Peeps:  scores of yellow bunnies and a few chicks focused on the dias featuring a giant orange Peep standing under a “Peeps First” banner.  In the stands, Camerapeeps from Fox focus solely on the only pair of brown Peeps in the audience.  Now that the Post moved it to TikTok, it lost its appeal.
  • Lara Trump leveraging her name to sell downloads of shitty songs AND get a top job at the RNC is okay, but Hunter Biden selling paintings and getting clients is verboten.  Their rules are odd.
  • Please stop with the “Fire Merrick Garland” crap.  Could a special counsel have been assigned to the Trump case earlier?  Yes, sure, but that doesn’t mean the DOJ wasn’t already investigating.  But firing Garland now does nothing to advance the case or the administration.
  • The Truth vs. Alex Jones is a frightening look into that man’s psyche.  Tracking the Sandy Hook defamation suit that led to a nearly $1 billion judgment against Jones, the documentary gave such a raw view of Jones’s greed, sliminess and outright lies was simultaneously enlightening and nauseating.
  • With all the talk of Trump potentially selling out the Oval Office to the person who finances his bond, we kinda forgot the time Trump actually sold out the Oval Office to sell a private company’s canned beans.  
  • Ham was always the centerpiece of our Easter meal growing up, but lamb took over as an adult.  Even more so than a Thanksgiving turkey, prep is key to the final product:  make sure you score, stuff, or season the roast properly.  Condiments:  mustard and horseradish.  And grilling on the Weber kettle is preferable to, and easier than, an oven. 
  • My dog’s snoring is better than any white noise generator to help sleep.   

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