A Michigan teen is in big trouble after leaving grisly, lifeless remains of the victim of a hit and run accident stuck on the front of his truck as he continued driving shitfaced and oblivious to the limbs flapping on his windshield before passing out at a gas station, the Lansing State Journal reports.
A passerby noticed the flailing of the unfortunate soul’s mortal coil and called police, who stopped the unidentified 18 year-old male Springport resident in his Ford truck. The victim, which appears to be a six or seven-year old maple or maybe an oak tree, was pronounced dead at the scene. The driver was hospitalized with minor injuries and is expected to face charges including DWI and aggravated vehicular treeslaughter… if that’s actually a statue in Michigan. We’ll look into that.