An aquatic plant we’re ascribing agency and thus malevolent intent to is spreading beneath the surface of Deep Creek Lake in McHenry, Maryland again, a decade after the state Department of Natural Resources had declared it eradicated from the lake, the Cumberland Times News reports.
Hydrilla, a lush monoecious plant native to Eurasia is especially sinister to freshwater boaters as its thin, lengthy stems often get tangled in outboard motors and wreck the propellers. So that’s pretty evil. Not as evil as a mosquito carrying Zika virus (that fucking germ is genocidal) but somewhere around poison ivy-level evil. It’s definitely not badass and anti-heroic like a Venus Fly Trap or the less fearsome but just as effective pitcher plant (because fuck flies, lol), but hydrilla’s got an edge.
Maybe it would help if they shortened the name to “Hydra,” after the mythological monster that grew a new head every time Odysseus or Hercules or whoever cut it off because that’s what Maryland DNR is dealing with now. Poison dart frogs are really cute even if their reputation for at least helping to facilitate murder is well-earned. In conclusion, hydrilla is bad for lakes.