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“French people don’t have souls anyway”: Elon Musk, probably

We’ll just go ahead and speculate that Tesla CEO Elon Musk would react to this CBS News report of four people being burned beyond recognition in the city of Niort, France when one of his company’s cars drifted off the road with something like “Whatever. French people don’t have souls anyway.”

“Plus have you ever seen pics of their women on topless beaches? You can’t even enjoy looking at them because their armpits look like bird’s nests,” Musk probably continued in a conversation with his legal team after being informed of the deadly accident that took the lives of four restaurant workers, the youngest of which was 16. “I don’t hire French people,” Musk added, probably.

“An inquiry has been opened to determine the causes and circumstances of the deadly accident, a probe during which expertise on the vehicle will be requested,” a local judge said in the real world following the crash. “That fucking baguette-eating fascist little bitch can go fuck himself. Go FUCK himself. He hates free speech,” Musk probably will actually end up saying for real if this goes south.

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