Categories
Uncategorized

Sam Bankrupt-Fried formally applies for Trump pardon

Convicted felon crypto fraudster Sam Bankman-Fried on Monday told Fox Business News he’s formally applied for a pardon from convicted felon President Trump, arguing to a reporter that his now-collapsed digital Monopoly money house FTX’s “customers have been repaid now 170 percent or so on their deposits. It’s one of the very few cases where the platform was over-collateralized, where customers were more than made whole. And yet there was, you know, not just a criminal investigation, but a prosecution. And, you know, dozens of years of sentence[s].”

“SBF” was hit with 25 years in the joint for an extremely convoluted scam where he was using customer deposits in FTX to fund pump up some other digital MacGuffin integral to amassing his peak $30 billion net worth before his downfall – a period during which he supposedly tried to bribe the Orange God Emperor with $5 billion not to run in 2024. Apparently SBF’s strategy now is to act as though that’s all water under the bridge by getting out of prison and then, presumably, finding some other way to bribe Trump in return for the favor. Like his former rival “CZ” did.

“I think SpaceX has extremely large potential, There are some parallels here where… frankly, there are very few companies that are well positioned to play a large role in the space industry,” Bankman-Fried said in his Fox Business News interview, quotes the outlet printed as though he were some hedge fund manager on the sidelines at Davos rather than a federal prison inmate likely talking to them via a collect call. “It’s one of those very few companies and I foresee it having an extremely large amount of upside, you know, even from where it is today, let alone where it was when we invested. And, you know, very few people have been able to grow companies like Elon has.”

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

ICE buying electrified gloves to zap victims on demand

2 hours ago

Please remember this meaningless bullshit in November

6 hours ago

RNC finds roles for those too violent, unstable for ICE employment

13 hours ago

Team Orange batting the subpoena hatches down hard

16 hours ago

TMTG posts negative $238 million earnings in Q2 2026

18 hours ago

Cowardly bitch-ass president flew out of Turkey on decoy plane

1 day ago

WATCH LIVE: Trump uncures childhood diseases

1 day ago

Orange God Emperor demands Iran pay him reparations

1 day ago

Colombia hit with 7.4-magnitude earthquake, killing at least 20

1 day ago

Fox couchman almost mad at reporter for bringing the bad news

2 days ago

Hormuz never returning to pre-war condition: Iranian MP

2 days ago

“Black and Brown Voters” expert shares inside analysis on demo

2 days ago

Max Miller stuck on the ballot

3 days ago

Netanyahu says “no, fuck no” to Trump’s Hamas “peace plan”

3 days ago

Fox News reports WNBA controversy consuming Fox News

3 days ago

“Man, he’s destroying families”: Trump fanboy with fiancee in gulag

3 days ago

Strait closed until Orange Ayatollah agrees to demands: Iranians

3 days ago

Judge orders MAGA Virginians to re-rename Confederate schools

4 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Robber Barons praise their Orange Cash Cow

4 days ago

Princess Donald cries over his magical ballroom’s disappearance

4 days ago

Bitch Cassidy and the Sunsetting Career

5 days ago

White House economic wiener retcons July jobs report

5 days ago

July jobs report smashes expectations

5 days ago

Murkowski a no on Todd Blanche

5 days ago

Orange Fuhrer refuses to endorse John Thune for Senate leader

5 days ago

Andy Ogles loses primary

5 days ago

Jon Husted’s wife or someone finally told him to man the fuck up

5 days ago

Fat president still screaming about “fake news” and shit

5 days ago

“How to Lose Friends and Antagonize Presidents” by Thom Tillis

5 days ago

Beaver attacks prompt closure of Maryland state park waterways

6 days ago

Bunnygate scandal continues to engulf Miller campaign

6 days ago

Enraged Fuhrer vows “treasonous” leakers being “hunted down”

6 days ago

Failed casino owner shares business wisdom in Vegas: Live

6 days ago

Jon Husted has no opinion on Max Miller

6 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Todd and K$H’s Excellent Press Conference

6 days ago

Fox News-brained senior citizen actually constitutionally empowered to follow through on his bullshit rants, doesn’t

7 days ago

Patriot arrested outside of Trump’s California golf course

7 days ago

DCCC adds another 12 seats to target list

7 days ago

Chuck Edwards throws in the towel after Ethics finding

7 days ago

Axios “reality checks” Trump’s “golden age”

7 days ago

Abdul El-Sayed wins Michigan Dem Senate nomination

1 week ago

Stuffed toy bunny hostage situation, other matters, unresolved

1 week ago

Minnesota MAGA Congressman hints Tom Emmer possibly dying

1 week ago

Box-o-Wine brought evidence to White House

1 week ago

Max Miller asks House Ethics to investigate him

1 week ago

WATCH LIVE: Trump defense lawyer confirmation hearing

1 week ago

David Ellison bitches about antitrust lawsuits in NYT op-ed

1 week ago

British Neo-Nazi running as Tory in local UK election

1 week ago

Fox News reports Nick Shirley staging dumbassery in Ceuta

1 week ago

“Things aren’t looking good”

1 week ago

x
x
x
x
x
x