The Orange God Emperor’s royal courtiers have beseeched the Holy Corpulent One to cease his fiery wrath at the insolent Muscovite Viceroy of the Turtle Sigil, CNN reports. The danger for the Almighty Degenerate is it shows the limitations of his power in realms outside of his empire. “You have four candidates who would seemingly do anything for [Trump’s] endorsement and yet not one of them is willing to stand up and say, ‘It’s time for McConnell to go.’ That says a lot about McConnell’s survivability and it also shows that there are limitations to President Trump’s influence,” said a thrall – anonymously to avoid incurring banishment from the Imperial Palace.