Shape-shifting Reptilian humanoid Arizona Republican Senate candidate Blake Masters told a crowd of fans at an IHOP earlier this spring that the Jan 6th, 2021 Capitol riot was some kind of FBI false flag, per audio obtained by CNN. “Don’t we suspect that like one-third of the people outside of the Capitol complex on Jan 6 were actual FBI agents hanging out,” said the malevolent being from the Draco constellation whose disguise is sustained by the regular consumption of human flesh.
“What did people know and when did they know it? We got to get to the bottom of this,” added Masters, his eyes subtly glowing a sickening shade of yellow, signaling a need to feast upon one of the drifters he has chained up in a shipping container partially buried in a remote stretch of desert.