“Can’t put Joe Biden in the same room with someone. He might, uh, let one rip,” guy who would claim he was only snorting talcum powder from that mirrored table because he just wanted to feel what it was like, Donald Trump Jr. rambles. “Guys, Joe Biden is what stands between us and a nuclear-capable China. [Editor’s note: China has had nuclear weapons since 1964, so it’s not like this is a new job requirement for POTUS.]. Joe Biden izz the guy they’re gonna call at three in the morning if there’s a serious crisis with Russia.”
Well, yeah. Because Joe Biden is the President of the United States, and if there’s a crisis involving Russia, it’s better to have Joe Biden at the helm rather than Junior’s Putin sycophant of a father. Personally, I’d rather have a president who occasionally farts than a president who intentionally mishandles classified documents and gives Russian officials top secret information about active espionage operations. (By the way, the “DON JR.” imprint on the snort puppet’s videos is really on brand: oversized, cheesy fake gold coloring, and obnoxiously self-promoting.)