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Actual product on ProudPatriots.com, a MAGA ecommerce site that was near and dear to our crank filler content-hungry hearts back in an earlier era of National Zero. The “Trumpinator Bobblehead,” which retails for $39.99 plus shipping, has a pretty solid 4.9/5 star rating on Proud Patriots, with one not-confirmed buyer let alone real person named “Frank N” writing “People loved the Trumpinator. Even my liberal associates. They made fun of a Busted Up Bidenator being introduced next. I guess liberals do have a sense of humor after all. Who knew?” Act fast patriots!

The scheduled Wednesday session for the Manhattan grand jury investigating fat former President Trump’s $130,000 hush money payoff to pornstar Stormy Daniels has been called off, delaying the final vote on whether to hand down an indictment, Insider reports while adding that a Thursday session probably won’t end with a vote either, pushing the big day likely to next week.

Well that sure sucks if true, and will most certainly cause the fanboys to erupt with “LMAO! COMMIE ALVIN BRAGG’S CASE IS COLLAPSING! FUCK YEAH! MAGA!” until the indictment happens.

UPDATE 3/22/2023 12:05 PM EDT: The New York Times confirmed Insider’s reporting about Wednesday but their sources left the door open for the grand jury convening Thursday, writing “The grand jury meets on Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays and may hear from at least one more witness before being asked to vote, according to people with knowledge of the matter. Because the proceeding is held in secret, it is unclear whether other witnesses could appear as well. It is unclear why the grand jury was not meeting on Wednesday, but the panel is not required to convene all three days each week, and scheduling conflicts and other interruptions are not unusual.”

“Digital World Acquisition Corp, a SPAC, today announced that Eric Swider, a member of DWAC’s Board of Directors (the ‘Board’) since DWAC’s IPO, has been appointed interim Chief Executive Officer, effective immediately. Mr Swider succeeds Patrick Orlando, who was terminated from his positions as CEO and Chairman of the Board after having served for the past 1.5 years.”

“As the Board executes its succession plan, it looks forward to a fully realigned management team to best meet the challenges the Company faces,” says a press release from Digital World Acquisition Corp, the scam company set up to acquire Trump Media and Technology Group. Orlando, reportedly under federal investigation for securities fraud since 2021, will remain on the board probably because forcing him to dump his shares would tank DWAC’s stock price even lower.

“DIRECTV and Newsmax Media, Inc. announced today that they reached a business agreement for a multi-year distribution deal that will return the Newsmax channel to DIRECTV, DIRECTV STREAM and U-verse on March 23, 2023. When the two companies were initially unable to agree on financial terms to extend their carriage agreement, DIRECTV lost the rights to distribute the programming on January 25, 2023. Unfortunately, this is a common occurrence in the pay TV industry, and often consumers are caught in the middle. ‘Newsmax recognizes and appreciates that DIRECTV clearly supports diverse voices, including conservative ones,’ said Christopher Ruddy, CEO of Newsmax.”

“‘As a standalone company, DIRECTV helped give Newsmax its start nearly a decade ago as it continues to do with upcoming news networks, which is why we are pleased to reach a mutually beneficial agreement that will deliver our network to DIRECTV, DIRECTV STREAM and U-verse customers over the next several years,'” says a joint press release from Newsmax and DirecTV.

Waiting on the House GOP to take credit for this from all their MAJOR hearings that never happened and bills that were never passed let alone even voted on to force the “corporate communists” at DirecTV to bring the low-budget right wing propaganda network back. Then there’s that this new agreement will almost certainly net $0 in carriage fees paid to Newsmax by DirecTV, the demand for which was the sole actual reason for this shitshow in the first place.

“Joseph Harding, 35, of Williston, Florida, plead guilty today to wire fraud, money laundering, and making false statements in connection with COVID-19 relief fraud. Jason R Coody, United States Attorney for the Northern District of Florida, announced the guilty plea.”

“Court documents reflect Harding devised a scheme to defraud the Small Business Administration (SBA) and obtained coronavirus-related small business loans by means of materially false and fraudulent pretenses, representations, and promises, and while executing such scheme, caused wire communications to be transmitted in interstate commerce. Harding also made a false and fraudulent SBA Economic Injury Disaster Loan (EIDL) application, in the name of one of his dormant business entities, that he submitted to the SBA. By this conduct, Harding fraudulently obtained $150,000 in COVID-19 relief funds from the SBA to which he was not entitled. After obtaining the EIDL proceeds, Harding conducted three monetary transactions each involving more than $10,000 in fraudulently obtained funds: a transfer to his joint bank account, a payment to his credit card, and a transfer into a bank account of a third-party business entity,” says a Tuesday DOJ press release.

What it doesn’t mention is that Harding is a Republican (now-former) state representative credited as the author of the draconian “Don’t Say Gay” law, making it a crime to acknowledge the existence of LGBT people in Florida. And why would it? As far as the law is concerned there’s nothing relevant to Harding’s political affiliation in the indictment. Plenty of other people – Dems, independents, and non-voters alike – have been caught scamming the government for loans during the pandemic.

BOMBSHELL REPORT: Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg HID HUNDREDS OF PAGES of "exculpatory evidence" from grand jury in the case built against Trump…

— Chuck Callesto (@ChuckCallesto) March 22, 2023

This EXPLOSIVE breaking news story comes from the same asshole who tweeted and then deleted some bullshit about voting machines being shut down in the 2021 New Jersey gubernatorial election and then earlier this month posted a fake video of “Antifa members” dressing up as Trump fans before the Capitol riot that was actually a filmed in February 2021 as a prank by YouTube comedian Walter Masterson. But we’re sure he’s on to something real this time. He’s due.

Republican South Carolina Senator Tim Scott is getting ready to not shake up the 2024 GOP primary field by launching a campaign that will last like eight or nine months, Politico reports.

The 57 year-old bachelor but probably not the same kind of bachelor as fellow Palmetto State Senator Lindsey Graham, is being helped by a PAC run by loser former Republican Colorado Senator Cory Gardner. “It would be a mistake by anyone to think that this is a two-person race. Should Senator Scott get in, I think the doors will open wide,” said Gardner, adding that the brand spanking new “Opportunity Matters Fund Action” PAC will focus on promoting “Scott’s record of optimistic conservatism,” and that they “anxiously await to see where that message goes.”

Cory Gardner lost his 2020 bid for a second term to former Colorado Governor John Hickenlooper by eight points. No real reason to add that here, just thought it’d be interesting to mention.

The House Administration Committee next week will hold a hearing on the not-very-smoothly run November 2022 US House election in Pennsylvania’s 8th District, a contest marred somewhat by a shortage of ballots in the Luzerne County portion of the district that might have dissuaded some voters from showing up and having to cast provisional ballots, Punchbowl News reports.

Which would sound good and great if any of the witnesses had any actual position with administration of the election, but the sole testimony lined up for the hearing titled “2022 Midterms Look Back Series: Government Voter Suppression in Luzerne County, Pennsylvania” on March 28th is that of loser GOP candidate Jim Bognet, who fell 6,600 votes short against incumbent Dem Congressman Matt Cartwright – a rematch of the 2020 race in which Bognet lost by a similar margin.

So rather than hearing from the officials tasked with running the election – people who are reportedly willing to testify if Committee Chairman Bryan Steil would just wait for Luzerne DA Sam Sanguedolce to finish his investigation – the hearing will instead center on the probably not very accurate complaints of the loser. Even MAGA Congressman Dan Meuser, one of over 120 House Republicans who signed a brief in support of Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton’s batshit December 2020 Supreme Court lawsuit to overturn Joe Biden’s win and whose district encompasses the other side of Luzerne questioned why the hearing’s title was so “conclusory,” saying “we shouldn’t be giving that perception” by including the word “suppression.” Well he did for a little bit, before Steil had a chat with him. Meuser then said that the hearing could help the DA’s investigation. “If we were to learn something from their report, maybe they’ll learn something from our report,” per Punchbowl.

A set of AI images generated by “Midjourney” depicting fat former President Trump’s pending arrest in New York City came out pretty good we must say, having viewed the set posted Monday by Bellingcat founder Eliot Higgins. Also fun were the pics of Melania and Don Jr screaming at police as Donald was taken into custody following the struggle as shown above.

The Ugandan Parliament on Tuesday passed a “Don’t Be Gay” law, making it a crime to merely identify as a lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or queer anywhere in the country and while in any occupation, not just if you teach elementary school children, and if unemployed, Reuters reports.

After Donald Trump’s latest lawyer, Joe Tacopina, claimed that he never had any substantial conversations with her regarding her case against Trump, Stormy Daniels has turned over communications she had with the attorney, CNN reports.

Aside from any bar association discipline he may receive for lying about his conversations with a prospective client, the communications could show the court that Tacopina had received enough information from Daniels to disqualify him from serving as Trump’s counsel.

The DC Circuit Court of Appeals on Tuesday granted disgraced former President Trump’s request for a stay on Judge Beryl Howell’s Friday order that scumbag lawyer Evan Corcoran testify before a grand jury on his handling of a May 2022 subpoena for classified documents the twice-impeached loser had stolen from the White House and it’s a very, very temporary stay according to Politico as the three judge panel – one Obama and two Biden appointees – set a midnight deadline for Trump’s lawyers to specify what the problem is and a 6:00 AM Wednesday deadline for special counsel Jack Smith’s team to respond. Donald better start sharing his Adderall stash with his attorneys.

“Now, it goes without saying that this is an inversion of what you’re supposed to want in a sane society.  In a sane society, you let elections determine who has political power.  You don’t fantasize about your political opponents going to jail,” claims Tucker Carlson, who apparently doesn’t remember the fervor the GOP went after Hillary Clinton, Anthony Fauci, Peter Strzok, and a long list of others.  “You don’t want a real show of force to deter Constitutionally protected protests because those protests are the sign of a free society.  You’re proud of that, that people can protest, they don’t have to be violent.  They can say what they think.  But that has changed under the last two years under Joe Biden.”

You can untwist your panties, Tucker:  no one is saying people can’t protest.  But given the penchant for Trump supporters to get violent and attack people when they don’t get their way.   And remember how you were so upset about the security at the Capitol?  New York doesn’t want a repeat.

Exactly. It was always an extortion play. https://t.co/7gBu0wL4kA

— Eric Trump (@EricTrump) March 22, 2023

Let’s review:  in 2016, Stormy Daniels signed a non-disclosure agreement for which she was paid $130,000 to not disclose–it’s in the name of the agreement, Ewic–that she had an affair with Ewic’s father, Donald… and Ewic doesn’t understand why she didn’t admit to the affair–which she was paid $130,000 to deny forever.  Oh, Ewic.

A total fucking prick mountain lion is being sought by Colorado wildlife officials after it snuck up on a man enjoying a soak in a hot tub at a rental home in Nathrop on Saturday, the AP reports.

The man and his wife were able to scare the dickhead off and run inside the house as the lion continued to watch them from the top of a nearby hill. They then immediately called the homeowner, who just happens to be an official with Colorado Parks and Wildlife. Responding officials were unable to track the lion in the frozen snow, but set a trap and will continue to monitor the area. The man and his wife self-treated the superficial wounds and he did not require hospitalization.

“We think it’s likely the mountain lion saw the man’s head move in the darkness at ground-level but didn’t recognize the people in the hot tub,” said area wildlife manager Sean Shepherd. “The couple did the right thing by making noise and shining a light on the [complete fucking cock knob].”

If the whole point of hiring a lawyer – particularly an expensive one like Atlanta’s so-called “Hip-Hop Attorney” Drew Findling – is to make your defense more legal-ish sounding then gosh did Findling knock it out of the park in this Tuesday interview with MSNBC’s Ari Melber. See how he takes Trump’s own description of his “PERFECT CALL” with Georgia Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger and then fashions it into a “Perfectly legal phone call”? That is damn good lawyering. There’s gotta be some sort of award show for this, like the ones they have for actors and musicians.

Sixty-five Ukrainian soldiers learning how to operate and maintain Patriot anti-missile systems in Oklahoma are days away from finishing the main part of their training, signaling Ukrainian defenders could be weeks away from deploying the US-built system, CNN reports.

The troops will be sent to a US base in Germany to get further training on two types of Patriot systems:  one built for American usage and one sold to Germany and the Netherlands.  The Patriots will help defend Ukrainian cities against the periodic Russian missile attacks targeting civilian populations.

Lawyers for fat former President Trump on Tuesday went to a DC federal appeals court to try and get a block on Judge Beryl Howell’s Friday ruling finding a crime-fraud exception to attorney-client privilege for other Trump lawyer Evan Corcoran and ordering him to testify to Justice Department special counsel Jack Smith’s grand jury on his handling of a May 2022 subpoena to return the classified documents that Donald stole from the White House, CNN’s Kaitlan Collins reports.

UPDATE 3/21/2023 6:23 PM: ABC News reports that Howell on Friday wrote in a sealed filing that Trump deliberately and knowingly concealed from his lawyers that he had stolen and was still hanging on to classified documents. Sources told ABC that Howell ruled that Jack Smith’s team had made a “prima facie showing that the former president had committed criminal violations.”

Which doesn’t sound good. And Trump’s minions apparently know it as they said “Shame on Fake News ABC for broadcasting ILLEGALLY LEAKED false allegations from a Never Trump, now former chief judge, against the Trump legal team. The real story here, that Fake News ABC SHOULD be reporting on, is that prosecutors only attack lawyers when they have no case whatsoever,” in a statement when asked to comment on the ruling. That’s a few shades more combative than the typical boilerplate about how awesome and popular Trump is usually found in MSM coverage.

The Atlantic’s McKay Coppins sat in on a series of Zoom focus groups run by GOP consultant Sarah Longwell where she asked primary voters what they thought of former Vice President Mike Pence, and they sure (verbally) lynched the guy for being either too close or not close enough to Trump.

“My goal was to see if I could find at least one Pence supporter. Instead, these were some of the quotes I jotted down,” Coppins writes. “He’s only gonna get the vote from his family, and I’m not even sure if they like him,” said one Republican voter in the focus group. “He has alienated every Republican and Democrat… It’s over. It’s retirement time,” said another.

“I’m so mad at Pence that I would never vote for him,” said one participant named Matt. “He would be a horrible president… I just don’t think he has the leadership qualities.” A woman named Christine agreed eagerly, saying “That’s exactly it. He didn’t have the leadership qualities to do what everyone wanted him to do on January 6. He just doesn’t have that spine.” A third one complained that Pence “just chose to go along with all the other RINOs and Democrats, not to upset the applecart.”

The best part might’ve been a response to a request for comment from a Pence spokesperson who seemed eager to blame Longwell for the abysmal support: “Mike Pence has spent the last two years traveling to more than 30 states, campaigning for dozens of candidates, and listening to potential voters. Those interactions have been incredibly positive and encouraging, and we place more value in those experiences than of a focus group conducted by disgruntled former Republicans like Sarah Longwell and paid for by some shadow organization that The Atlantic won’t disclose”

Tennessee Lt Governor Randy McNally on Monday survived a state Senate no confidence vote with a safe 19 to 7 margin over his bizarre and suspicious comments on the Instagram page of a young gay man in contrast to his public support of anti-LGBT legislation, the Tennessean reports.

“I have always been honored, humbled and grateful for the support of my caucus,” McNally said after the vote. “I remain so today. We have a lot of important work left to do as we complete the legislative session, including the budget. I look forward to getting to it.” The Tennessean report made no mention of the allegations from state Senator Todd Warner, who had last week called on McNally to resign citing supposed evidence that McNally had been “grooming” the young man.