Category: Uncategorized

Lots to unpack here in Trump New York lawyer Joe Tacopina’s appearance on Ari Melber’s show on MSNBC, where he tries to argue that Donald didn’t lie because he didn’t want to violate a “confidentiality clause.” Which means he acknowledges that Donald paid off Stormy Daniels.

Ever the Free Speech advocate–but only when your speech supports his views–Senator Ted Cruz (R-Quintana Roo) called on the administration of Stanford Law School to punish students who protested the appearance of ultra-conservative, anti-LGBTQ rights, anti-women’s rights judge Kyle Duncan on campus, Fox News reports.

Arguably the most reviled member of the Senate (with recent challenges from Ron Johnson, Josh Hawley, and Rick Scott while perennial hopefuls Rand Paul and Tom Cotton hang on), Cruz was perturbed that students voiced disapproval of the judge’s persistent reversal of human rights while he was invited to address the campus chapter of the Federalist Society.  Ever the conservative, Duncan didn’t even pretend to be a civil servant, instead provoking the audience by walking into the lecture hall recording the protestors on his cell phone, saying he wanted to “make a record.”  After a faculty member and a student leader calmed the crowd, Duncan skipped his speech set about attacking the students, saying to one, “you are an appalling idiot.”

“It was deeply disturbing to watch the viral video that captured Stanford Law students harassing and insulting Judge Kyle Duncan, a sitting federal circuit judge, who had been invited by the school’s Federalist Society chapter to speak at a school-sanctioned event,” Cruz wrote school administrators, adding “Stanford Law School is well within its rights to discipline these students for their behavior, and indeed, I strongly urge the school to do so.”

The shitty “Justice for All” song by the “J6 Prison Choir,” which is just a bunch of Capitol rioters singing the Star-Spangled Banner mixed with a recording of fat former President Trump reciting the Pledge of Allegiance, may have rocketed to the top of the charts on iTunes given its sales numbers, but music industry experts say the streaming numbers would seem to indicate far fewer fanboys are actually listening to it, according to a report by Forbes data guy Zach Everson.

Sales of the $1.29 track reached 22,500 on iTunes as of Monday, which is solid. However the audio and video streaming numbers between March 3rd and 13th pale in comparison at only 600,000 plays, not enough to get in the top lists of Apple Music and Spotify. “You often see a song that really takes off get millions and millions of streams in the first few days. That’s less impressive than the downloads,” said a music industry executive. Since the download sales are supposedly going to help out the families of the jailed scumbags, it would seem that buying the lame track would be more of a charitable contribution than anything else. A really shitty, measly charitable contribution, but a contribution nonetheless. A spokeswoman for Trump minion Kash Patel says sales of his special $99 vinyl edition of “Justice for All” are “significant” but did not provide actual numbers.

Of course if Trump really wanted to help out the Capitol rioters he would have pardoned them in the 14 days he was still able to do so after the insurrection he incited. He didn’t pardon them.

Bryson Gray, a person of whom I have never heard but who apparently has a following as a great MAGA rapper who has made a social media presence for himself by producing pro-Trump raps for YouTube, is now pissed off that MAGAts have pushed organizers of a Donald Trump appearance to cancel him from the event where he was scheduled to perform.  Apparently, Gray has been criticizing Trump lately and showing a preference for upstart meatball Ron DeSantis, the Republican Florida governor.  That was enough for the Trump mob to expel him, much to his chagrin:

Hey, only trumpers. Congrats! The Lee County Florida GOP cancelled my performance at the event with Trump because they got over 500 phone calls from ya’ll to get me cancelled from the event.  No, this wasn’t liberals disguised as conservatives either. They also mentioned all of the backlash from the only trumpers on twitter. Ya’ll can’t run from this. Never mention counter [Editor’s note:  Perhaps he meant “cancel”?] culture again.”

The “establishment” GOP, mostly in Senate, found themselves pretty alarmed by heels-wearing little bastard Ron DeSantis’s pro-Russian stance on the war in Ukraine as told in his answer to a survey from Kremlin-allied Fox News propagandist Tucker Carlson on Monday, the New York Times reports.

“The Neville Chamberlain approach to aggression never ends well. This is an attempt by Putin to rewrite the map of Europe by force of arms,” said Lindsey Graham on Tuesday while directly addressing Tiny D’s characterizing the conflict as a “territorial dispute” when Putin violently invaded a sovereign country. “I don’t know what he’s trying to do or what the goal is,” said Marco Rubio, who you’d think as Florida’s top federal elected official would be in regular contact with his state’s governor instead of questioning him like that in a radio interview. “Disturbed,” was how McConnell deputy John Cornyn felt about the comments. The Times piece goes on and on with reactions.

Remember these are the people just absolutely dying for DeSantis to take down Trump and become the nominee and, while they’re scumbags on pretty much everything else, defending Ukraine is as important to them as it should be. This is actually a big problem for them that Ronnie’s going “rogue” on one of the few major issues that the GOP establishment and Dems have consensus on.

DC Circuit Judge Trevor McFadden on Tuesday told Proud Boy Christopher Quaglin to man up and stop acting like such a bitch, ruling there was no constitutional violations being inflicted on Quaglin in his denying his release from pretrial detention in the DC Correction Center where the defendant and his fellow MAGA insurrectionist scumbags are being held, WUSA reports.

Former Trump lawyer Michael Cohen will continue testifying to the Manhattan grand jury investigating the 2016 hush money payment to pornstar Stormy Daniels on Wednesday afternoon, the Guardian’s Hugo Lowell reports. It’s expected to be the last day for the grand jury and the fat bastard could be indicted at any moment after the testimony wraps.

Republican Missouri Congressman Blaine Luetkemeyer, a former banker and top member of the House Financial Services Committee, on Tuesday told Politico that the government should at least temporarily insure all US bank deposits until the current shitshow after SVB’s failure is resolved.

“If you don’t do this, there’s going to be a run on your smaller banks. Everyone’s going to take their money out and run to the JPMorgan’s and these too-big-to-fail banks, and they’re going to get bigger and everybody else is going to get smaller and weaker, and it’s going really be bad for our system,” said Luetkemeyer, who did not say if “woke” banks should be excluded from the proposal.

The US Air Force issued a statement accusing the Russian aircraft of acting in a “reckless, environmentally unsound and unprofessional manner.”

Environmentally unsound. That’s what they’re worried about. Not the start of WWIII.

Trump was right again!
https://t.co/LxJAP5JgbM

— Donald Trump Jr. (@DonaldJTrumpJr) March 14, 2023

A Russian fighter jet clipped the propeller of an American surveillance drone over the Black Sea on Tuesday, causing the US military operators to have to force the drone into the water, the Associated Press reports. The Russian pilot unfortunately survived the near-collision with the drone.

Crazy asshole former Milwaukee County, Wisconsin Sheriff David Clarke is considering a challenge to incumbent Wisconsin Dem Senator Tammy Baldwin, the Daily Beast reports on yet another possible far right nightmare candidate for Moscow Mitch and NRSC Chief Senator Steve Daines.

“As time goes on he may make a determination of what to do with the branding he has built up over the years, but not now. Clarke would never take anything off the table as it relates to his future,” a Clarke spokeswoman told the Beast, adding his “objective right now is to become a thought leader in the conservative movement. Tammy Baldwin knows she’s vulnerable. She will be well funded, but she has no message and runs strictly on her identity politics checklist. She is a back-bencher.”

David Clarke’s body of “thought leadership” includes gems like him telling the audience at a 2021 QAnon fan event that the Capitol riot “was not an insurrection. If we decide to pull an insurrection, you’re gonna know it. There’s very little you’re going to be able to do about it,” and in 2020 tweeting that the COVID-19 pandemic was “an orchestrated attempt to destroy CAPITALISM.”

Despite probably being under federal criminal investigation for skimming credit cards and ripping off a disabled veteran whose dog was dying of cancer, among God knows what other kind of shit, lying scumbag drag queen turned Congressman George Santos on Tuesday submitted to the FEC the paperwork required to run for reelection in 2024, Bloomberg reports. Note that it doesn’t necessarily mean he’ll run again, it’s just that not filing the papers would have closed the door on it.

Part of Republican Texas state legislator Steve Toth’s anti-science, anti-choice bill that would ban the sale of drugs approved by the Food & Drug administration to induce abortions sits a provision that takes the GOP’s blooming fascism to a new level:  the bill would require Internet Service Providers to block access to websites that provide information on “elective abortions” and prevent people from accessing websites that deal with women’s health.

HB 2690 would require ISPs to block access to sites including aidaccess.org, heyjane.co and other sites that facilitate the procurement and delivery of drugs like mifepristone, even though those sites also provide accurate medical information about abortion–information that debunks the information provided by conservatives and anti-choice adoption centers that pretend to be abortion providers.  Like other anti-choice legislation in Texas, instead of directly outlawing the medical procedure, Toth wrote the bill to allow anyone sue anyone violating this law, in an effort to financially cripple information providers through hundreds of annoyance lawsuits and their associated fees.

“Each Internet service provider that provides Internet services in this state shall make every reasonable and technologically feasible effort to block Internet access to information or material intended to assist or facilitate efforts to obtain an elective abortion or an abortion-inducing drug, including information or material[,]” the bill reads. 

Scream at the sky libs! LMAO! The Guardian reports that the Hollywood leftist propaganda fest Oscars had the third lowest ratings in its history! ROFL! Doesn’t that make you really upset and triggered, like you had some sort of emotional investment in the measurable popularity of the American film industry’s biggest awards show? You should be curled up in your cry closets that the third fewest percentage of Americans watched the woke cause-filled acceptance speeches! LOL!

It’s okay if you want to stop bottling up all the sadness you’re experiencing right now libs. Real Americans despise the hateful racist “diversity” Hollywood forces on us, so it’s important that you acknowledge this stinging defeat for your side. Really libs, it’s part of the grieving process to be open about it, which validates patriots’ accomplishment here. Without it the America First side of the web just becomes this insular circlejerk in which Digital Soldiers celebrate imaginary culture war victories in which they personally had no effect upon. And then they wouldn’t feel as affirmed in their identification with the MAGA movement. LOL! So stop pretending you don’t care about the low Oscars broadcast ratings and start embracing the massive butthurt, you pussyhat libtards! LMAO!

National Zero will resume our regular coverage now that we’ve admitted how badly we got owned by these low Oscars ratings. We hope our MAGA readers enjoyed this surrender to their reality.

Closing out what was surely a tedious Hunter Biden-centric interview with House Oversight Committee dipshit James Comer, Fox “straight news” anchor Bill Hemmer went a little off script Tuesday, telling Comer it’s been five years and “nothing just yet.” Besides a small fact-check on the timing – it’s really been closer to a little less than four years since Biden first announced his candidacy and then John Solomon and Rudy started their “Burisma” probe which ended up with Donald getting impeached, we have to hand it to Hemmer for momentarily letting his exhaustion with this stupid bullshit slip. Even better is Comer still grinning like an idiot amid the unsubtle derision.

The Texas Senate on Monday gave the initial approval to SB2, a bill to make any form of illegal voting punishable by up to 20 years in prison and more than $10,000 in fines, VoteBeat.org reports.

Of course the real point isn’t to punish people for intentionally voting illegally, it’s to make the process so intimidating to people on the margins, those afraid of making a simple mistake, that they don’t bother risking it. “I just would ask you to consider the unintended consequences of your proposal,” said Dem state Senator John Whitmire. “We’re all against voter fraud. But to give it the gravity that you are today really frightens some of us who have worked with voters that are just not going to be as informed as perhaps you assume they are, such as someone coming off of parole, such as a 17-year-old high school student.”

Silicon Valley “Bank” really operated like a hedge fund. They had less than 10% of their money FDIC insured.

Why are they even being treated like a bank?

— Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene🇺🇸 (@RepMTG) March 14, 2023

Does she know that FDIC insurance is not something that a bank can simply adjust the coverage caps at will like it’s a fucking Geico homeowner’s policy? That by statute it only covers indiviudal depositors with assets valued up to $250,000 and is funded by regular dues payments to the government corporation by the banks? Probably not as she seems to think “their money” means it was Silicon Valley Bank’s, not those of its depositors, 90 percent of whom (if she’s even citing the right figure) had accounts valued at over $250,000 and thus were not covered by the FDIC.

Two separate reports this week of individuals from distinct species of marine mammals that usually fight each other instead observed being nice and swimming together in the Atlantic Ocean are raising questions of how to finish this lede in a way that sounds insightful and informative about certain concepts in aquatic biology far beyond our usual beat of stupid political bullshit.

In a moment observed off of southwestern Iceland in August 2021 but only reported in the Canadian Journal of Zoology last month and picked up by McClatchy this week, a female orca named Sædís appeared to have adopted a baby pilot whale. Scientists say it was surprising as the two species are usually antagonistic, but it may not be an outlier either as another orca was spotted with a baby pilot whale in June 2022. It’s not clear if Sædís and the baby have continued to swim together.

More recently at least twice over the last few weeks two bottlenose dolphins and a harbor porpoise have been observed swimming and playing together off the west coast of Britain, according to a news release picked up by the same McClatchy reporter as the above orca story. The sightings were notable as “while (these species) share the same habitat, porpoises tend to steer clear of dolphins, so to see them playing and sticking together over such a long period is a really rare event,” according to Lucy Babey, head of the UK’s ORCA marine wildlife organization.

Fat former President Trump on Monday told the Daily Caller that “Tiny D is good” as a nickname for diminutive Florida Governor Ron DeSantis, but then went on to use “Ron DeSanctimonious.”

“Remember this, if it weren’t for me, Ron DeSanctimonious would right now be working probably at a law firm or maybe a Pizza Hut I don’t know,” Trump said, yet again emphasizing that without his endorsement, “Tiny D” would not have won the 2018 Florida GOP gubernatorial primary. It’s pretty much true, which makes it an outlier among all the other shit Trump has been saying lately.