Traitor Steven Seagal, star of action classics Exit Wounds, Hard To Kill, Above the Law, Under Siege, Out for Justice, and On Deadly Ground back when he loved America, has been awarded the state “Order of Friendship” medal by Russian dictator Vladimir Putin, Meduza reports.
National Zero’s editorial position is still “Steven Seagal can go fuck himself.” It has not changed. If anything our feelings are less hurt now than they were two years ago. He’s dead to us.
At the Monday sentencing hearing for Capitol rioter David Judd, who was hit with 32 months in the joint after he was caught on tape throwing a lit firecracker into a tunnel entrance of the Capitol during the January 6th, 2021 MAGA insurrection and then convicted in August on charges of civil disorder and assaulting/impeding police, Judd’s lawyer told Judge Trevor McFadden that her client’s actions “were completely out of character” and that he’s getting more involved in his church, according to a thread by workaholic CBS News Capitol correspondent Scott MacFarlane.
What sticks out here is – if MacFarlane’s reporting is to be credited and no reason not to – the usage of the present tense “getting more involved with his church” in an ex post facto act of contrition for his crime. It’s obviously a contrast to a number of his fellow insurrectionists who subsequent to the attack got caught doing things like selling fake COVID vax cards, planting a hidden camera in a tanning booth to spy on a woman while she was naked, and assaulting a woman in a bar, threatening FBI agents or even their own kids, or killing a woman in a head-on DWI crash. Judd is at least pretending to behave himself (if his lawyer is telling the truth here). Still, like we’ve said again and again, we’ve still yet to see an example of one who lived a life of sincere virtue prior to January 2021.
Well actually we could have also led with the Judd’s lawyer, Elizabeth Mullin, telling the judge she’s “an Obama supporter. If Obama told me to be in the streets to protest in 2008, I’d have been out there in the streets.” That might make the rounds on other sites. And then there’s that the judge said Judd was “slightly exculpated because he was ‘there at the behest of the president.'” That’s probably kind of significant when a judge rules that Trump bears responsibility for the attack.
The Peruvian jail system is going to run out of space in its special ex-presidential prison when former President Alejandro Toledo is extradited from the US, as expected, since the Barbadillo jail is already full with ex-leaders Alberto Fujimori and Pedro Castillo behind bars there, Bloomberg reports.
A Chick-fil-A location in Royersford, Pennsylvania has banned all unaccompanied guests under the age of 16 from dining at the premises – even the straight ones – after the little bastards caused too much havoc for employees and other diners at the establishment, Fox 29 Philadelphia reports.
In a lengthy Facebook post last week, the management at Chick-fil-A Royersford listed off the youths’ many transgressions, writing “their conversation often contains a lot of explicit language,” “food and trash are often thrown around and left on the tables, chairs, and on the floor,” and “employees are laughed at, made fun of and treated rudely. Employees are cursed at and ignored when they ask the children and teens to either change their behavior or leave.”
The location’s management apologized for ruining the fun for the many straight, cisgender Christian teenagers who behaved themselves in the establishment. “Due to the numerous extreme behaviors of many of your peers, we must make a blanket rule covering anyone under the age of 16.”
Jimmy Carter’s niece Leanne Smith told Fox News on Sunday the 39th president is still hanging on and she thinks he may stick around despite deciding to spend his remaining days in hospice care.
“He had a good day. In fact, about 30 minutes ago, I got a text. They knew I made broccoli and cheese soup, so before I came to meet with you, I dropped broccoli and cheese soup off to be delivered to the house, because he’s eating and talking… so it is amazing. He’s still got some time in him. I just feel like it,” said Smith, who did not divulge the ingredients of her soup.
Stunned by the imaginary success of the ivermectin’s success in treating COVID symptoms for unvaccinated patients before they died of something else, right wing quack doctors are taking the miracle horse paste into the fight against flu and RSV, the Washington Post reports.
The “Front Line Covid-19 Critical Care Alliance,” an innocuous-enough sounding name that needs a “freedom,” “liberty,” or “faith” added to it to make it come across as more patriotic – all three would be best – says their “treatment protocols” for administering the sour apple-flavored equine dewormer for patients of the other viruses have been downloaded more than a million times.
The US Supreme Court on Monday granted certiorari to a case by a group of payday lenders challenging the constitutionality of the funding for the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau.
Interesting how the question of whether it’s cool for the CFPB’s operations to be funded directly by the Treasury (designed to insulate it from political pressures) rather than appropriations by Congress was brought up not by a concerned citizen but the vampiric scumbags whose predatory lending practices the bureau was designed to crack down on and would gain if the CFPB was shut down.
Last year the MAGA Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals ruled in favor of the ghouls, and Vox’s Ian Millhiser writes Los Supremos are probably actually going to reverse it to clean up a shitty ruling by the lower court. “The Court’s decision to consider this case is probably good news for consumers.”
I don't favor boycotts in most cases. I was just curious.
— Scott Adams (@ScottAdamsSays) February 27, 2023
Poor guy, suddenly realizing that his impulse to rally his fans to avenge his career self-destruction runs contra to years and years of unhinged rants decrying “cancel culture.” He’ll get himself back together soon and rationalize a justification for why he’s a unique and special case and all the shit he said doesn’t apply to him personally in his crusade against the print industry.
Dem Michigan Congresswoman Elissa Slotkin on Monday announced to the Detroit Free Press she’s officially running to replace to replace retiring Dem Senator Debbie Stabenow in 2024.
“There are certain things that should be really simple – like living a middle class life in the state that invented the middle class; like making things in America, so that we’re in control of our own economic security; like protecting our children from the things that are truly harming them; and preserving our rights and our democracy so that our kids can live their version of the American Dream. This is why I’m running for the United States Senate. We need a new generation of leaders that thinks differently, works harder and never forgets that we are public servants,” Slotkin said in a video previewed to the Free Press which – despite its name – is not actually free. We were able to view this particular article without the paywall getting in the way, however.
Holy shit! The Guardian reports the original James Bond novels by Sir Ian Fleming are being reissued with instances of the N-word removed, as well as certain references to the ethnicities of a number of minor characters! And there’s going to be a disclaimer added for snowflakes saying “This book was written at a time when terms and attitudes which might be considered offensive by modern readers were commonplace. A number of updates have been made in this edition, while keeping as close as possible to the original text and the period in which it is set,” which is totally woke!
GET THE FUCK ON THIS YESTERDAY FOX NEWS! Create the “backlash” and inform your viewers about it immediately! Even if most of them probably never read these novels, let alone even knew that they existed and that the original eight or so 007 films were actually adaptations of the books, it’s still another example of the woke fascist cancel culture ruining their nostalgic memories of life in the 20th century! Book Kevin Sorbo and Roseanne Barr! What the hell are you waiting for? This is a new “controversy” almost custom made to fill hours upon hours of midday airtime! Hurry!
Napoleonic Florida Governor Ron DeSantis’s new book, “The Courage to Be Free,” is complete shit, according to New York Times nonfiction book critic Jennifer Szalai, who writes in her review that the soft campaign launch book “is courageously free of anything that resembles charisma, or a discernible sense of humor” and “reads like a politician’s memoir churned out by ChatGPT.”
“The overall sense you get from reading his new memoir is that of the mechanical try-hard – someone who has expended a lot of effort studying which way the wind is blowing in the Republican Party and is learning how to comport himself accordingly,” Szalai writes, understandably annoyed and bored after having been assigned by her editor to read 200+ pages of complete bullshit.
Irish terrorists with the “New IRA” on Sunday claimed responsibility for the assassination attempt on a high ranking Northern Irish police official who was attacked by masked gunmen in front of his young son outside of a soccer field in Omagh while off-duty last Wednesday, the BBC reports.
Detective Chief Inspector John Caldwell, 48, remains in critical condition following the attack for which six men, aged 22 to 71, are in custody. Police already suspected the “New IRA” was behind the shooting as they appear to be the only dissident republican group currently active.
In contrast to past years, Fox News has not engaged in any sponsorship deal nor has it issued any guidance to its reporters on how to cover CPAC this year, the Daily Beast reports on the ongoing fallout from the male-on-male sexual assault accusations against founder Matt Schlapp.
Andrews McMeel Universal, distributor of MAGA scumbag cartoonist Scott Adams’s Dilbert comic strip, announced late Sunday they were severing their relationship in response to Adams’s insane racist rant from last week in which he labeled Black Americans as a “hate group,” the AP reports.
“We are proud to promote and share many different voices and perspectives. But we will never support any commentary rooted in discrimination or hate,” said AMU execs in a joint statement.
This wasn’t a hard call to make, but we called it. We knew this son of a bitch was going down.
One of the Fox weekend hosts whose job the network filled with a foreigner instead of a domestic fascist (because deep down inside, they want to outsource jobs) makes debunking his claims so easy by actually showing a graphic that shows his claim about record-low labor participation rates in the US. (Currently, labor participation rate is 62.4%, close to the 62.6% March 2020 rate, just before it plunged to 60.1%, a modern-day low, the following month during Donald Trump’s lone term in office.
After being attacked from all sides for failing to expand coverage to new mothers, Republican Mississippi Governor Tate Reeves announced suddenly announced a new “pro-life” agenda that includes providing Medicaid coverage to mothers’ care for one year after the birth of a child, the Associated Press reports.
Ranking among the worst states when it comes to maternal mortality rates, Mississippi notoriously becomes the breeding ground for conservatives to cut social safety net programs affecting poor, primarily Black, families. One of just eleven states that did not expand Medicaid coverage with the passage of the Affordable Care Act ranks at or near the bottom of lists relating to health care–quality, access to, and general public health–in the United States in most polls of industry and public health experts.
The House GOP’s stupid “Weaponization” select subcommittee is only $2 million per year, or $4 million total for the 118th Congress, Rolling Stone reports. That might sound big enough until you hear the point of reference at the House January 6th Select Committee’s $18 million budget from 2021 and 2022. Nobody – not even the fanboys when they’re being honest – realistically expects Jim Jordan’s new circlejerk to produce hearings and reports on the same scale as the exceptionally well-executed Capitol riot investigation but shouldn’t they at least appear to try to do it?
Les comparto dos fotos de nuestra supervisión a las obras del Tren Maya: una, tomada por un ingeniero hace tres días, al parecer de un aluxe; otra, de Diego Prieto de una espléndida escultura prehispánica en Ek Balam. Todo es místico. pic.twitter.com/Tr5OP2EqmU
— Andrés Manuel (@lopezobrador_) February 25, 2023
Congo’s national divorce is going acrimoniously as the M23 rebels striking from neighboring Rwanda have managed to seize more territory from the government in a recent offensive, the AP reports.
The rebels’ seizure of the town of Mushaki threatens to cut off links to the North Kuvu province’s capital of Goma – a place that already sucks to live in because of the goddamned volcano that regularly buries wide swaths of the city in periodic outbursts of basaltic lava.
Divorced national divorce expert Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene did not comment to the AP on the sort of split she proposed for the United States not going peacefully in another country.
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