Category: Uncategorized

Isn’t that what he’s doing when he’s complaining about “leaking” instead of saying it’s all fake news and he’s got some secret plan to turn the tables which will put the Bidens in jail? Please, MAGA trolls, tell us we’re wrong here when we think Trump is confirming various reporting on Smith’s efforts to force Donald’s lawyer to testify and that prosecutors are zeroing in on a motive for the theft of the documents from the White House. Let us know if we’ve somehow misunderstood your Orange Allah.

One of a string of iconic actresses like Marilyn Monroe and Jane Mansfield except living longer, sexpot Raquel Welch, the epitome of sexiness for generations, has died after a short illness at the age of 82, ABC News reports. A player in more than 30 movies including such camp 1960s hits as “Fantastic Voyage” and “One Million Years B.C.” as well as 50 television shows including such camp 1970s shows as The Love Boat and Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In, nearly as frequently doing a cameo as performing a character.

Welch’s famous 1960s poster from the movie “One Million Years B.C.” was used to mark the passage of time in Stephen King’s novella Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption (written under the pen name Richard Bachman), later adapted to an award-winning film starring Tim Robbins and Morgan Freeman.

Spandex-wearing grapple freak Jim Jordan on Wednesday subpoenaed Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg, Google CEO Sundar Pichai, Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella, Apple’s Tim Apple, and Amazon CEO Andy Jassy – but not Twitter CEO Elon Musk because he’s cool with MAGA – to find out if the Biden Administration is communicating with them to suppress domestic right wing terrorism and COVID-19 vaccine conspiracy bullshit, the Wall Street Journal reports.

Jordan apparently hopes this hearing will go better than the last one, when a former Twitter executive revealed that the Trump Administration had in 2019 demanded the company take down a tweet written by model/social media influencer Chrissy Teigen in which she called the fat former President a “pussy-ass bitch,” completely undermining the whole premise of the hearing, which was supposed to show evidence of anti-MAGA “collusion” between the government and Twitter.

“The Congressional Budget Office projects that, if the debt limit remains unchanged, the government’s ability to borrow using extraordinary measures will be exhausted between July and September 2023 – that is, in the fourth quarter of the current fiscal year. The projected exhaustion date is uncertain because the timing and amount of revenue collections and outlays over the intervening months could differ from CBO’s projections. In particular, income tax receipts in April could be more or less than CBO estimates. If those receipts fell short of estimated amounts – for example, if capital gains realizations in 2022 were smaller or if U.S. income growth slowed by more in early calendar year 2023 than CBO projected – the extraordinary measures could be exhausted sooner, and the Treasury could run out of funds before July,” says the latest debt ceiling apocalypse update from the Congressional Budget Office nerds, published Wednesday.

Lesser commone peasants ofth thee performers ande squires guilde ofth The Medieval Times faire promotion ofth Buena Park, Californiashire hath revolted agayns the lordes ofth the troupe, rebelling for increathed wages and safther workinge condiciouns, harketh the Orange County Register.

Thee tempeste begun onth Sabbath Daye, whene the horsehands, tireth of scuppinge shite inth the stables un’eath thee keepe ofth thee faire rathied a wickede crye for economic justith, followede swiftely bye alle guildesmen and guildeswenches. Thee maine greivance lies souther thee Interstate 5 tradepathe in thee Kingdom of Disneylande, wereth performers benefite from toil at highere wage for lessere working houres. “We have knights who make $18.50 an hour, and they’re falling off of horses,” saeth guildewench and revolt leadere Erin Zapcic. “A similar performer at Disneyland makes $33 an hour for 15-minute shows with breaks in between,” addeth the faire wench.

Federal prosecutors have decided not to indict MAGA Congressman Matt Gaetz for sex trafficking after they concluded they couldn’t get the charges to stick, CNN’s Paula Reid reports.

With half-term governor and losing Congressional candidate Sarah Palin repeatedly failing to spot foreign aircraft intruding on Alaskan airspace, the US military dispatched two F-16s to intercept a flight of four Russian planes approaching American airspace, CBS News reports.

Monday’s Russian flight of Tu-95 bomber and Su-35 fighter aircraft was immediately responded to and turned back, a rapid response after unknown objects, believed to be at least one Chinese balloon and perhaps other scientific flights, approached via the same path.  The last time Russian forces tried such a stunt was October 2022.

“NORAD also assessed that this Russian flight activity is in no way related to recent NORAD and US Northern Command operations associated with airborne objects over North America during the last two weeks,” the command said in a statement.

A federal judge on Wednesday rejected fat former President Trump’s offer to provide a DNA sample to rape accuser EJ Carroll’s legal team ahead of the May trial in her defamation lawsuit – but after the period to submit evidence for discovery had ended – as a transparent delay tactic.

Complicated story as short as possible: After the rapey encounter with the Orange Degenerate in the dressing room of the Bergdorf Goodman store in Manhattan, Carroll saved the dress on which Donald had (no doubt prematurely) deposited his mushroom goo and held onto it for decades before she filed a defamation suit against Trump for calling her a liar over her 2018 rape accusation. During discovery, Trump had refused to submit a DNA sample – for obvious reasons – but then suddenly “changed his mind” after discovery had ended, which was seen as an attempt to build a “Well I tried to give my DNA sample but they didn’t want it” defense to sell to the jury as well as a delay tactic.

Separately Trump’s defense team are contesting the admissibility of Donald’s long record of public statements about women – and the famous Access Hollywood tape in which he bragged about committing sexual assault in a department store, which might be kind of relevant to the case.

The MAGA terrorist convicted of the mass shooting at the Tops Supermarket in Buffalo, New York last May was dragged out of the courtroom during his sentencing hearing as a member of the audience present – likely a relative of one of the 10 people killed during the racially-motivated rampage – rushed the table and attempted to assault the white nationalist, the AP reports.

“You don’t know what we’re going through,” the man shouted as court officers led him out following the attempt on 19 year-old Payton Gendron, who pleaded guilty in November to New York State charges including murder and domestic terrorism motivated by hate, for which he will automatically receive a sentence of life without parole. At the federal level, Gendron has pleaded not guilty to hate crime charges which could carry a death sentence, though it’s possible he may change his plea in exchange for life without parole. It’s unclear which penal system Gendron will serve in.

CNN’s The Lead with Jake Tapper is now without an executive producer, as a likely young female staffer blabbed head honcho Federico Quadrani successfully seduced her. The story comes from a Fox News media reporter, written with sanctimony as if their own fucking house is in order.

If you read them aloud these rhymes sort of work, some whimsy and fun to media coverage which is usually a boring circlejerk. It’s the highest profile sex scandal at CNN since the departure of network president Jeff Zucker, who quit along with exec Allison Gollust after people found out that Jeff had…

A Russian general who had been in charge of the Putin regime’s internal suppression efforts shot himself early Monday, just weeks after Vlad fired him for some unspecified failure to carry out the Kremlin’s campaign of terror against citizens tired of the bullshit, the Telegraph reports.

Major General Vladimir Makarov, 72, had supposedly fallen into a “deep depression” and “didn’t know what to do with himself” after Putin fired his ass, according to Russian media. Which sounds believable enough, especially if he didn’t “jump” out of a window but who the fuck knows anymore. It can both be true that he was depressed over being canned and Putin wanted to tie up a loose end.

It’s time for a reset and a new chapter in national Republican politics, and there’s no better person to help write that new chapter than our former governor and my good friend, Nikki Haley! 🇺🇸

(3/3) pic.twitter.com/3HxygLFhqP

— Ralph Norman (@RalphNorman) February 15, 2023

South Carolina MAGA Congressman Ralph Norman, famous for his stupid January 17th, 2021 text message to Mark Meadows in which he begged for fat former President Trump to declare “Marshall Law,” went ahead and endorsed his former Governor Nimrata Haley for some reason on Wednesday.

Scotland’s First Minister Nicola Sturgeon, chief executive and leader of the Scottish National Party, abruptly quit her post on Wednesday at a hastily arranged press conference Wednesday from her official residence in Edinburgh, Politico EU reports. Sturgeon cited the difficulties keeping up with job after nine years and the need for a fresh face if Scotland is to secure independence from the UK.

“And then we have people like Ilhan Omar.  She wants to crack down on corporate greed when it comes to rails and the privately-owned sections of rails.  But really what we have to do is we have to make sure that our rails are safe,” preaches Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-Ga.) who is on the record as [checks notes] voting against Biden’s August 2022 Infrastructure Investment and Jobs Act to put more than $1 trillion into America’s failing infrastructure, which was celebrated week’s a time during the previous administration, even if they did nothing to actually fix it.

After watching the Super Bowl in the company of Emperor Palpatine’s human form, Rupert Murdoch, Elon Musk was upset people weren’t paying attention to him.  More specifically, he was upset that more people were paying attention to Joe Biden.  And even more specifically, Musk was pissed that the President’s Super Bowl tweet rooting for his hometown Philadelphia Eagles got more than three times more impressions than Musk’s shout-out to the Iggles.

As Platformer News reports, there was no downtime for Twitter’s engineers.  After his return from the game in Arizona, Musk assembled 80 remaining Twitter employees for an in-person meeting Sunday night to demand they change the algorithm that selects tweets to put into people’s feeds to cram Musk’s tweets over anyone else’s–even stifling the reach of the President of the United States to feed his ego.  On Monday morning, when about 1 in 6 workers suffered from Big Game hangovers, engineers found the company’s Slack channel contained a demand from the CEO, issued through his cousin (who apparently works for the company) making an “all hands on deck” call to fix the “problem” which wasn’t a problem for anything but Musk’s ego.

After Musk fired engineers who told him he simply wasn’t as popular as he thought he was, a brave employee told Musk his impressions were down because the algorithm noted many users had blocked or muted his account, likely because they became tired of his rants and extremist views.  Biden’s 29 million views for his Super Bowl tweet, versus Musk’s lowly 9 million, came because people haven’t muted the President’s account.  So to fix the problem, engineers removed all barriers to Musk’s tweets, adding them to nearly everyone’s “For You” tab and increasing his impressions by around 1,000 percent, which is apparently what $44 billion buys you.

The first missile fired by an F-16 pilot at an unidentified object flying over Lake Huron earlier this week missed the target and crashed harmlessly into the water, Army Gen. Mark Milley, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, stated Tuesday, noting the danger that would have arose should the Air Force tried to shoot down the object over land, CBS News reports.  The second shot destroyed the target.

The third of four unknown objects shot down by the US military in the past two weeks, the Lake Huron object was flying lower than the one that transited the US and was destroyed over the ocean off the coast of South Carolina.  “We’re very, very careful to make sure that those shots are, in fact, safe, and that’s the guidance from the president: shoot it down but make sure we minimize collateral damage and we preserve the safety of the American people,” Milley said.

One of the tiki torch marchers seen in an iconic photo of the 2017 Unite The Right rally protesting the removal of a Robert E Lee statue took his own life in Missouri last month the day he was supposed to face trial in Arizona on charges of smuggling fentanyl, the Daily Beast reports.

Teddy Joseph Von Nukem, 35, who had legally changed his name from Teddy Landrum to honor both his German heritage and the video game character Duke Nukem, was found dead of a self-inflicted gunshot wound in a barn in his hometown at the very moment a judge in Arizona issued a warrant for his arrest over the no-show at Nukem’s trial following his 2021 arrest at the border. Nukem told cops he had accepted 4,000 Mexican pesos (roughly $215) to smuggle the shit right wingers are supposed to hate with a passion for destroying white communities.

Justice Department special counsel Jack Smith is seeking to have a judge to declare a crime-fraud exception to attorney-client privilege to compel grand jury testimony from shitbag Trump lawyer Evan Corcoran in how he handled a spring 2022 subpoena for the classified documents Donald stole from the White House after his humiliating defeat in the 2020 election, the New York Times reports.

The crime-fraud exception was granted last year in the case of dickhead MAGA lawyer John Eastman as he sought to hide emails sought by the House January 6th Select Committee regarding Eastman’s work “representing” Trump while attempting to overturn the 2020 election.

Worried that right wing attorneys getting fined by courts or disciplined by the Bar for bringing frivolous lawsuits over Republican election losses might reduce the market for legal representation, Republican Arizona state Senator Anthony Kern has introduced a bill prohibiting a both the State Bar Association and the Arizona Supreme Court from “infringing” or “impeding” on the “political speech” of an attorney or an attorney’s clients, the Arizona Mirror reports.