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Former Russian President and Prime Minister Dmitri Medvedev on Saturday called on Japanese Prime Minister Fumio Kishida to ritually disembowel himself with a katana blade for what Medvedev called “subservience” to the United States following Kishida’s visit to Washington, Reuters reports.

Medvedev, who served as a puppet president of Russia for a 2008 – 2012 interregnum during which Putin acted as Prime Minister before handing the presidency back to Vlad and then serving as Prime Minister himself until 2020, seemed particularly pissed over Kishida’s joint statement with Biden condemning any Russian use of nuclear weapons against Ukraine. Medvedev called it a betrayal of “the memory of hundreds of thousands of Japanese who were burned in the nuclear fire of Hiroshima and Nagasaki” and that Kishida showed himself to be “just a service attendant for the Americans,” for which he should commit a gruesome and painful ritual suicide.

A MAGA insurrectionist who in early January 2021 took his young son on a three day road trip to the Trump-backed coup attempt was arrested earlier this month on three misdemeanor charges in connection to his illegal trespass along with thousands of other rioters, Insider reports.

Patrick William O’Brien, 54, of Great Falls, Montana, who drove 39 hours over three days prior to the insurrection, was not hit with any sort of child endangerment charges for taking the boy, age unknown, into the Capitol for approximately 30 minutes, but he fucking should have been considering five people were killed there and hundreds injured. The boy was spotted in surveillance footage stealing a mousepad from a security desk in one of the Capitol lobbies, according to Insider.

Apparently nobody told him that Biden documents special counsel Robert K Hur is “deep state” and was involved in the “Crossfire Hurricane” investigations early in the Trump Administration.

• I imagine his business card reads, “Steve Bannon:  Fascism Exporter.”
• Speaker pro tem McCarthy knows that if he expels George Santos, the voters in the NY 3rd will elect a Democrat, cutting his thin majority margin even more.  Short of a Santos conviction, McCarthy will do nothing.  Such is the moral compass of the GOP.
• Gas stoves are the incandescent bulbs of toilet flushes.
• Yes, Merrick Garland should appoint a special counsel to investigate the government documents found in Biden’s possession.  It’s how proper government functions properly, which was not what happened in the Trump administration.
  Read More ▶ “Random thoughts Friday, Volume CIV”

“Congressman, grateful that you’re here willing to stand up for the most American of all pleasures, which is tobacco, sorry to say it. It’s true.  It founded the country,” a sorry-not-sorry Hungarian tourism director Tucker Carlson proclaims, apparently referring to the Confederate States of America and ignoring the work of slaves.  The story is about the Republican House passing rules that allow for cigar smoking in Congressional offices because the GOP absolutely loves their old-fashioned stereotypes about lawmakers and smoke-filled rooms.  (It’s also led to accusations of lawmakers and staff cigar “hotboxing” people to make them sick enough to leave offices.)

Courtesy of a different Constitution, the Brazilian Supreme Court has announced it will open an investigation into the role rightwing sore loser Jair Bolsonaro played in inciting and organizing the attack on the nation’s government center in Brasilia January 8th, after the inauguration of President Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva, the New York Times reports.

Supeme Court Justice Alexandre de Moraes approved the request of federal prosecutors to include the former president in the investigation because, Moraes wrote in his decision, Bolsonaro “may have contributed, in a very relevant way, to the occurrence of criminal and terrorist acts.”

First, they came for the school libraries, but I said nothing for I had a Kindle.  “I’ve instructed my staff to compile a list” are words that no elected official in the United States should say, given the shadow of McCarthyism imbued in any government “list.”  But that doesn’t stop Republican Oklahoma Superintendent of Schools Ryan Walters, drunk with new power, announcing from the driver’s seat that he’s going to purge books from school libraries and decertify two state teachers who dared give lessons about gender and race.  (I mean, outside of Tulsa and OKC, how many Oklahomans have seen a person of color in person?  So, such lessons seem appropriate.)

Visualize Donald Trump in a deposition with the lawyers for E. Jean Carrol, who accused him of raping her in a department store dressing room in the 1990s.  Blue suit, red tie, red-tinged-orange face.  Arms crossed.  Cheeks huffing.  “I will sue her after this is over, and that’s the thing I really look forward to doing. And I’ll sue you too,” he harumphs.

According to the Associated Press, Trump vehemently denied attacking Carroll, at times claiming he didn’t even know her.  He dismissed her in the sworn deposition for a defamation case Carroll brought, which was taken last October.  Trump called her a “nut job” and saying she made the claim to sell her “really crummy book.”

There are two defamation cases involving Carroll.  The first, filed when Trump was president for comments made while Trump was president, is being challenged on the grounds that Trump was acting in his official capacity as president when he defamed Carroll.  The second, for which this deposition was taken, resulted from comments made after Trump left office because he couldn’t keep his mouth shut.

This Congress, I will create the first ever Anti-Woke Caucus.

Read my @theammind op-ed about what Congress must do in the fight against wokeism👇https://t.co/jUC3WKGoqV

— Jim Banks (@RepJimBanks) January 13, 2023

Belarus could soon formally enter the war in Ukraine on Russia’s side if (when really) the Kremlin declares that Ukraine has “used force” against Russia and/or Belarus, and yeah really that’s the criteria according to the Daily Beast. “Any use of force by the Kyiv regime or a Ukrainian military invasion of either Belarus or Russia would be enough to trigger a collective response,” a Putin minion told state media on Friday. Russian troops have launched attacks on Ukraine from inside Belarus since the beginning of the war, but dictator Alexander Lukashenko’s regime did not otherwise directly support the invasion. It’s not clear what impact a Belarusian entry would have on the war other than just providing more poorly armed and trained targets for Ukrainian defenders.

Wisconsin Elections Commission member Bob Spindell, a fascist chode with a long history of involvement in MAGA scams including Kanye West’s failed attempt to get on the 2020 ballot as a spoiler for Trump, “advising” 2020 Green Party presidential candidate Howie Hawkins on how to get on the ballot in the state (also failed), and serving as a fake Trump elector in 2020, sent an email last week to Republicans in his Congressional district saying he was “proud” of lower turnout among Black and Latino voters in Milwaukee in the 2022 midterms relative to 2018 and 2020.

“In the City of Milwaukee, with the 4th Congressional District Republican Party working very closely with the RPW, RNC, Republican Assembly & Senate Campaign Committees, Statewide Campaigns and RPMC in the Black and Hispanic areas, we can be especially proud of the City of Milwaukee (80.2% Dem Vote) casting37,000 less votes than cast in the 2018 election with the major reduction happening in the overwhelming Black and Hispanic areas. Promoting the Republican ‘Cares’ Message; pointing out the many flaws of the Democrat Candidates; coupled with a Lack of Interest, persuaded many voters not to vote,” wrote Spindell in the email obtained by Urban Milwaukee.

It is my solemn obligation to invite the president to speak before a Joint Session of Congress on February 7th so that he may fulfill his duty under the Constitution to report on the state of the union. pic.twitter.com/YBmzLxs3Iz

— Kevin McCarthy (@SpeakerMcCarthy) January 13, 2023

A federal judge on Friday rejected disgraced former President Trump’s motion to dismiss both lawsuits from rape accuser EJ Carroll. Both lawsuits, the first being the 2019 defamation complaint over Trump calling Carroll a liar in response to her accusation and the second a 2022 complaint over the 1995 rape itself made possible under the a new law in New York State opening up a window for cases that would’ve otherwise been outside the statute of limitations, were upheld in the ruling.

GOP bill blocks Biden admin from banning gas stoves: ‘Regulation run amok’ https://t.co/IJlJH71EkQ

— Fox News (@FoxNews) January 13, 2023

The superintendent of the Newport News, Virginia school district on Thursday told parents that at least one administrator was aware the six year-old patriot who wounded a teacher while standing his ground in a first grade classroom last week may have been armed, WAVY reports.

Superintendent Dr George Parker said the patriot’s backpack was searched about two hours prior to the shooting but no gun was located, demonstrating quick thinking on the part of the child to stow the weapon away from government intrusion. Parker did say if the child was fed up with being taught critical race theory or disgusted by other children who identify as cats relieving themselves in a litter box in the classroom, but those would appear to be the likeliest possible motives.

“A federal grand jury in Boise returned an indictment on Jan. 10, charging an Idaho man with a hate crime. The indictment alleges that on Oct. 12, 2022, Matthew Alan Lehigh, 31, attempted to cause bodily injury to two people in Boise by driving his car at them. This assault, the indictment alleges, was motivated by the actual and perceived sexual orientation of the victims.”

“Boise Police apprehended Lehigh, and the Ada County Prosecuting Attorney’s Office filed state charges against Lehigh. If convicted of the federal charges, Lehigh faces a maximum penalty of 10 years in federal prison,” says a Department of Justice press release.

Hands off our gas stoves. Just leave us alone.

— Nicole Malliotakis (@NMalliotakis) January 13, 2023

Here’s MAGA Staten Island Congresswoman Nicole Malliotakis riding the latest batshittery about gas stoves. Apparently some government bureaucrat said it might be time to consider a ban as the fossil fuel-heated ranges pose a health hazard (a health hazard beyond the obvious “sometimes they explode and kill people”) and all hell broke loose among the Fox News-brained assholes of America.

It’s an eerie echo of early 2021, back when the 2020 election’s dust had (relatively) cleared, the Biden Administration was getting settled in, and the MAGAverse needed new made-up outrages to fill time and space previously occupied by “evidence” that the presidency had been stolen from Trump. So they went on this utterly insane panic binge: Mr Potato Head becoming “genderless,” some old Dr Seuss books most people had never heard of being “canceled,” Disney+ adding a content warning to late-1970s “Muppet Show” episodes, critical race theory, and of course the closest analogue to this new “gas stoves” bullshit, the “Biden Burger Ban.”

There’s a distinct contrast with early 2022: Back then they were hyping outrages with potential electoral implications such as crime and inflation. The lead up to Russia’s attack on Ukraine and the earliest stages of the war itself certainly dominated a lot of coverage too (not that they didn’t make up disgraceful fake outrages associated with the war also). But by and large the rubber was meeting the road with the lead up to the midterms. Right wing news coverage was meant to keep their fan base geared toward voting against Democrats. Now we’re in another odd-numbered year it looks like it’s going to be “cancel culture” again, with a shit ton of stupid “controversies” with no real purpose other than to keep the fanboys in a state of perpetual anger and paranoia.

A Manhattan judge on Friday fined fat former President Trump’s corrupt business the maximum penalty of $1.6 million following its conviction on charges of tax fraud, the New York Times reports.

“HUR WE GO AGAIN”

– The current top comment on the Gateway Pundit article “Who Is Merrick Garland’s Special Counsel Robert Hur? …He Partnered with Chris Wray at DC Law Firm and Later Was Rod Rosenstein’s Top Lieutenant,” posted Thursday. Guess it was inevitable that whoever Garland picked to be the special counsel to investigate Biden’s classified docs fuckup would be “tainted” in the fanboys’ eyes.

They say it themselves. “This is proof that there are no DOJ attorneys who are not Democrat connected. NONE,” wrote another Gateway Pundit fan in the top reply to that top comment.

Napoleonic Florida Governor Ron DeSantis leads fat former President Trump 51 to 49 percent in a head-to-head matchup in the most recent UMass Amherst survey of Republican-identifying voters, but the same question finds Trump ahead 37 to 34 percent with the full field of future GOP 2024 nomination losers like Mike Pence, Nimrata Haley, Greg Abbott, and Mike Pompeo.

It’s probably the best showing for DeSantis against Trump in polling that includes the entire likely 2024 GOP field. While Ron has led in most head-to-head matchups in polls against the Orange God Emperor, he’s trailed pretty badly in full field versions of the question. This one finally puts it close for him, and a good position for a raucous fight starting this summer.