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“Well I think if they win, I should get all the credit, and if they lose I should not be blamed at all,” Donald says of his MAGA candidates

Last Trump article for the day… Probably. We promise it’ll probably be the last Trump article on National Zero until Wednesday. This moment of self-parody was too good to pass up.

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Orange Warlord appears to threaten Ron DeSantis

Speaking with a Wall Street Journal reporter on Monday night, disgraced former President Trump appeared to issue a not very veiled threat of harm to would-be rival Florida Governor Ron DeSantis.

“I think if he runs he could hurt himself very badly. I think the base would not like it,” said the Orange God Emperor, adding “If he did run, I will tell you things about him that won’t be very flattering. I know more about him than anybody other than perhaps his wife, who is really running his campaign.”

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In Election Day message, Lake vows to undertake fascist-like government reform of independent journalism

There’s nothing like self-declared “small government” conservatives avowing to expand government authority when they get into power.  Oh, actually, there is.  It’s called fascism when that candidate declares–as Arizona Republican gubernatorial nominee and future Fox cable host Kari Lake does here–her government will decide what constitutes journalism during her reign.

“I’m not only going to be governor of Arizona for four years, I’m gonna do two terms,” Lake asserts because she’ll never accept the results of any election she loses.  “I’m gonna be your worst freakin’ nightmare for eight years.  And we will reform the media as well.  We’re gonna make you guys into journalists again.  So get ready.  It’s gonna be a fun eight years.  I can’t wait to be working with you.”

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New report on Trump wanting to jail reporters kind of clichéd

A new Tuesday report in Rolling Stone about disgraced former President Trump asking around about how he can jail journalists seems a little cliched and over-the-top. “This year, as Trump has privately strategized about what a second term, potentially starting in 2025, could look like, he’s begun occasionally soliciting ideas from conservative allies for how the U.S. government and Justice Department could go about turning his desires – for brutally imprisoning significant numbers of reporters – into reality,” write Rolling Stone’s Ryan Bort and Asawin Suebsaeng in the article.

It all comes across a bit hackneyed. Like of course Trump aspires to be the second coming of Hitler or Stalin, but couldn’t he come up with something a little more original than just simply brutally cracking down on the free press by imprisoning them? The whole “authoritarian playbook” trope about Trump is stale. We new ideas and new leadership if America is to become a nightmarish right wing dictatorship, not the same shit that was said and done in the early 20th century.

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Illinois county election office targeted by cyberattack on website; no interference with voting operations

The Champaign County (Illinois) Clerk’s Office announced on its Facebook page that the election official’s website has been targeted by a DDoS (Distributed Denial of Service) attack designed to block or slow down access.

“For the past month the Champaign County Clerk’s website has been the target of repeated D-DOS attacks, fortunately the reinforced security and response from the Clerk’s IT team has prevented these attacks from being successful and the Clerk’s website has remained secured,” the Facebook post states.  “No data or information has been compromised and the election is secure.”

The attack on the public-facing website will not impact the ability of people in the traditional Democratic stronghold to vote, but it may make it more difficult for people looking for polling locations to get needed information.

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Republican flips Guam delegate seat, Dem gov reelected

Republican James Moylan has defeated Democrat Judith Won Pat in the race for non-voting delegate to the US House for Guam, becoming the first Republican not-really-representing the island territory in the Western Pacific since 1993, Pasquines.us reports. Former Attorney General Doug Moylan (who we’re guessing is related to James but we can’t find anything about that) defeated incumbent AG Leevin Camacho for the nonpartisan office. Democrat Gov Lou Guerrero won reelection while Dems expanded their hold the territorial Senate by one, to a 9-6 majority.

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Capitol riot committee interviewed Secret Service driver

The House January 6th Select Committee on Monday interviewed the driver of the presidential SUV in which disgraced former President Trump is alleged to have tried to grab the steering wheel in a tantrum after being told he couldn’t go to the Capitol with his mob of cultists after he incited them, CNN’s Annie Grayer reports. No word yet on whether the unnamed agent confirmed or denied the testimony about the meltdown from former Trump White House aide Cassidy Hutchinson.

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Well look at that, the fat bastard voted in person on election day

Wow, fat former President Trump leading his cult by example and actually voting in person on election day instead of via absentee ballot and then telling his fans not to do the same because it helps the Democrats cheat and all sorts of other stupid bullshit. Color us impressed.

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Ohioan murders neighbor because he thought man was Democrat

“He’s come over like four times confronting my husband because he thought he was a Democrat,” 43-year-old Anthony Lee King’s wife told 9-1-1 dispatchers Saturday after their neighbor shot her husband multiple times. “Why? Why? Please, I don’t understand.”

There’s not a lot that can be understood about the attack, which WCPO ABC-9 in Cincinnati reports occurred because 26-year-old Austin Gene Combs thought King was a Democrat.  King’s family said Combs repeatedly accosted King to scream about politics and his opinion–reflecting Donald Trump speeches and Republican propaganda–that Democrats should be eliminated through the use of guns, if necessary.

King’s wife said she was in the front yard of the house with her son when she heard at least four gunshots and saw her husband laying bleeding in the backyard after Combs came into their yard to tell King the standard BS talking points he heard from Republicans. King was taken to a local hospital where he was pronounced dead. “He’s come over like four times confronting my husband because he thought he was a Democrat,” she told dispatchers. “Why? Why? Please, I don’t understand.”

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Florida tries to block DOJ election monitoring

Napoleonic autocrat Ron DeSantis’s goons are attempting to block the Justice Department from monitoring polling sites in Florida, because it’s a violation of state law and would be “counterproductive” to their mission of voter intimidation, the Washington Post reports.

The Florida Department of State sent a letter to the US Department of Justice claiming that federal election monitors are barred by Florida law from observing voting sites in the state, citing a state law that actually gives local officials the decision on who can be at polling places, according to WTFL Palm Beach. The move appears to be an effort by Florida to challenge election integrity provisions put forth in the 1965 Voting Rights Act.

In the letter from Florida Department of State General Counsel, Brad McVay claims that Florida statute 102.031 (3)(a) bars federal officials from having federal representatives observe elections. In fact, however, the statute cited lists permitted workers on voting days with a very large hole that allows local elections officials to allow anyone they deem appropriate. At no time does the cited regulation bar federal observers from polling places, as McVay implies in his letter.

The Department of Justice sent notifications to 64 jurisdictions in 24 states around the nation announcing it would send monitors to polling places to ensure voting was done in compliance with the 1965 Voting Rights Act provisions that ban intimidation, excessive effort, voter blocking and other conservative efforts to stifle voter turnout do not occur.

“Your letters simply provide a non-exhaustive list of federal elections statutes as the basis for this action without pointing to any specific statutory authorization,” McVay claims while ignoring that the letter actually cites the 1965 Voting Rights Act specifically. “When asked for specific authorization during our phone call this evening, you did not provide any. Accordingly, the Florida Department of State invokes its authority under section 101.58(2) of the Florida Statutes to send its own monitors to the three targeted jurisdictions. These monitors will ensure that there is no interference with the voting process.”

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Justice Department to monitor polls for voter intimidation

“The Justice Department announced today its plans to monitor compliance with federal voting rights laws in 64 jurisdictions in 24 states for the Nov. 8, 2022 general election. Since the passage of the Voting Rights Act of 1965, the Civil Rights Division has regularly monitored elections in the field in jurisdictions around the country to protect the rights of voters. The Civil Rights Division will also take complaints from the public nationwide regarding possible violations of the federal voting rights laws through its call center. The Civil Rights Division enforces the federal voting rights laws that protect the rights of all citizens to access the ballot. Monitors will include personnel from the Civil Rights Division and from U.S. Attorneys’ Offices. In addition, the division also deploys monitors from the Office of Personnel Management, where authorized by federal court order. Division personnel will also maintain contact with state and local election officials.”

“The Civil Rights Division’s Voting Section enforces the civil provisions of federal statutes that protect the right to vote, including the Voting Rights Act, the Uniformed and Overseas Citizens Absentee Voting Act, the National Voter Registration Act, the Help America Vote Act and the Civil Rights Acts. The division’s Disability Rights Section enforces the Americans with Disabilities Act to ensure that persons with disabilities have a full and equal opportunity to vote. The division’s Criminal Section enforces federal criminal statutes that prohibit voter intimidation and voter suppression based on race, color, national origin or religion,” says the Justice Department in a press release on their plans to suppress the civil liberties of MAGA racists who want to suppress turnout.

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Maybe, just maybe, telling people not to vote early was a bad idea

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Fraudulent Powerball lottery numbers drawn after delay

The $2 billion Powerball lottery numbers were drawn Tuesday morning, hours after we were supposed to know the winner, CBS News reports. Since the corrupt lottery officials couldn’t declare a winner on Monday night when they were supposed to, we’re calling this a fraud and demand a full forensic audit of the drawing. Must’ve been a late night dump of Powerballs.

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Trump loses 2022 sexiest man alive award to actor Chris Evans

Disgraced former President Donald J Trump has lost People Magazine’s “Sexiest Man Alive” award for the 37th year in a row, the celebrity media outlet confirmed Tuesday in an article celebrating the coronation of the far more affable and conventionally attractive (and liberal) Hollywood actor Chris Evans, most famous for his portrayal of patriotic superhero Captain America/Steve Rogers.

The defeat comes amid a seemingly endless string of legal setbacks for the 45th president in which a New York judge froze his business’s assets from being transferred and assigned an independent monitor to review the company’s financial statements. It is unknown, however widely assumed that the former president and corrupt businessman will have a fake People Magazine cover photoshopped to make it appear as if he were actually awarded the title of “Sexiest Man Alive” for 2022, as he probably has done for other years, maybe even all of them.

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Texas GOP candidate’s novel claims Anne Frank “found Jesus”

Republican Texas Congressional candidate and Evangelical pastor Johnny Teague tells John Solomon’s shitty website he was “horrified” that his novel “The Lost Diary of Anne Frank” in which the titular teenage Holocaust victim finds Jesus before dying in a concentration camp drew appropriate criticism from a Jewish media outlet. “I’m not proselytizing,” Teague said in response to a Jewish Telegraphic Agency article that accurately described the book as proselytizing.

“I’m horrified” by the article, Teague said, claiming that his imposition of Christianity on Jewish Holocaust victims “wasn’t intentional.” A right wing apologist rabbi agreed, offering a boilerplate apologist statement for Teague. “I don’t think it’s very important, or that it reflects animus against Jews. The fact that he devoted so much of himself to a story of Jewish persecution is perhaps more noteworthy than whether the heroine, in his telling, thought about becoming Christian. There’s quite enough real antisemitism today that we shouldn’t try to impute bad motivations when a writer looks at things through the lens of his own beliefs,” Rabbi Yakov Menkin told JustTheNews.

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Federal judge tosses OAN motion to dismiss Dominion suit

“US Dominion, Inc. and other related corporate entities claim that One America News Network (‘OAN’), as well as four other Defendants associated with OAN, defamed Dominion in connection with the 2020 presidential election. Defendants have moved to dismiss or stay this action under the Colorado River doctrine. Alternatively, Defendants move to transfer this case to the United States District Court for the District of Colorado. And should the Court deny both motions, three Defendants – OAN, Robert Herring, and Charles Herring – argue that the claims against them must be dismissed for lack of personal jurisdiction. For the reasons that follow, the Court denies Defendants’ motions,” writes DC District Judge Carl Nichols in his ruling sticking it to OAN.

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QAnon returns, again

Just in time for the midterms, the “OG” QAnon is back for more of his famous “Q-drops”! Even though the actual doomsday cult inspired by the mysterious fake government secret super agent has long since moved on to a life of its own, here’s Ron and/or Jim Watkins still putting their bullshit out there for consumption by the die-hards. Monday’s “drop” post, which came after a similar midterms-themed one on Sunday, would be only the eighth overall since “Q” stopped posting in December 2020 and the first since a brief six-post resurgence in June after the Supreme Court overturned Roe v Wade. There’s a distinct “Andrew Yang announcing he and a bunch of other people whose names you recognize are starting a third party” feel to this new comeback attempt.

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North Korea denies selling arms to Russia

Two friends of Donald Trump are secretly hooking up.  Although US intelligence agencies are tracking the shipments, North Korea denies reports that it is supplying Russia with weapons and ammunition for its floundering fight in Ukraine, NBC News reports.

As early as September, reports have circulated that North Korea was arming Russia with shipments of artillery shells being routed through ports in the Middle East and North Africa and then being shipped over land to Russian forces in Ukraine and southern Russia.

“We regard such moves of the U.S. as part of its hostile attempt to tarnish the image of the DPRK in the international arena by invoking the illegal ‘sanctions resolution’ of the (U.N. Security Council) against the DPRK,” an official statement read on state television said.

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Orange Tyrant announces 2024 campaign launch announcement

Disgraced former President Trump on Monday announced that he will announce his 2024 campaign for the presidency on Tuesday, November 15th and damn what a fucking stupid headline and lede. “I’m going to be making a very big announcement on Tuesday, Nov. 15 at Mar-a-Lago in Palm Beach, Florida,” said the fat bastard at his Ohio rally which was ostensibly for GOP candidates.

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An economy depending on one guy to not fuck around is…

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