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“Can’t put Joe Biden in the same room with someone.  He might, uh, let one rip,” guy who would claim he was only snorting talcum powder from that mirrored table because he just wanted to feel what it was like, Donald Trump Jr. rambles.  “Guys, Joe Biden is what stands between us and a nuclear-capable China.  [Editor’s note:  China has had nuclear weapons since 1964, so it’s not like this is a new job requirement for POTUS.].  Joe Biden izz the guy they’re gonna call at three in the morning if there’s a serious crisis with Russia.”

Well, yeah.  Because Joe Biden is the President of the United States, and if there’s a crisis involving Russia, it’s better to have Joe Biden at the helm rather than Junior’s Putin sycophant of a father.   Personally, I’d rather have a president who occasionally farts than a president who intentionally mishandles classified documents and gives Russian officials top secret information about active espionage operations.  (By the way, the “DON JR.” imprint on the snort puppet’s videos is really on brand:  oversized, cheesy fake gold coloring, and obnoxiously self-promoting.)

Texas Senate Bill 8, passed in 2021 and banning abortion in pretty much every possible circumstance, enjoys a 11% approval among the respondents to a recent survey conducted by research firm PerryUndem, the Texas Signal reports. A similar number described Texas politicians as “out of touch with their electorate,” which isn’t great news for Governor Low Energy Greg.

Leonard Glenn Francis, known as Fat Leonard, the man convicted in the largest fraud case in US Navy history, is on the waddle after cutting off his monitoring ankle bracelet and fleeing his San Diego home weeks before his sentencing hearing, The Guardian reports.

Francis would ply naval officers with alcohol, women, cigars and fine dining to get them to reroute ships to ports where his organization, Glenn Defense Marine Asia, a ship support company, ran operations.  He would then get classified information about ship routes and schedules so he could bribe officials to send Navy vessels, including aircraft carriers, to his ports so he could overcharge for items like fuel, food and other operational material his company would provide to resupply the ships in port.

US Marshals who went to Francis’s San Diego home found his ankle bracelet had been removed and smashed, with Francis’s personal items gone.  Francis was scheduled to be sentenced September 22nd.

The drama over "Don't Worry Darling" takes a weird new turn. https://t.co/6ywRQ9b3F8

— HuffPost (@HuffPost) September 6, 2022

Jesus freaking Christ enough with this fucking “Don’t Worry Darling” movie. National Zero is by no means averse to covering dumb shit no normal person should ever care about, but come on, how many fucking news stories do we need to see about the “behind the scenes drama” involving director Olivia Wilde and stars Harry Styles, Florence Pugh, and Chris Pine? This goddamned movie is seriously taking up more of our Twitter home feed than those assholes stealing voting equipment software from an election bureau in Georgia and that was covered by CNN, the Washington Post, and the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. Fine MSM, go ahead and report on Hollywood, the market for entertainment news is lucrative, but for the love of God just fucking stop with this stupid movie.

For the first time since 1869, a judge has ordered an elected official be removed from office for violating the 14th Amendment by breaking his oath of office to support and defend the US Constitution when he participated in the January 6th Republican-led domestic terrorist attack on Congress, the advocacy group Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington (CREW) reports.

Otero County Commissioner Couy Griffin, the founder of Cowboys for Trump, was ordered by state Judge Francis Mathew to be removed from his official position for violating Section 3 of the 14th Amendment, known as the Disqualification Clause, which disqualifies anyone from elected office .  Numerous groups and individuals, including the NAACP, joined a lawsuit seeking Griffin’s removal from office.

Eyewitnesses testified that they saw Griffin take the lead in getting people to attack the Capitol during the January 6th insurrection.  Griffin himself entered the Capitol during the violence, although he reportedly did not destroy any property in the building.  Other evidence, including Griffin’s speeches to rallies and groups prior to the attack, in which he called for undermining the Constitution, were also presented to the court during the trial.

I can’t believe we’re still talking about this, but my emails…

As Trump’s problems continue to mount, the right is trying to make this about me again. There’s even a “Clinton Standard."

The fact is that I had zero emails that were classified.

— Hillary Clinton (@HillaryClinton) September 6, 2022

Continued: “Comey admitted he was wrong after he claimed I had classified emails. Trump’s own State Department, under two different Secretaries, found I had no classified emails. That’s right: ZERO… By contrast, Trump has hundreds of documents clearly marked classified, and the investigation just started. I’m more tired of talking about this than anyone, but here we are.”

Conservative utopia Florida, led by a fiercely anti-Faucist and anti-woke Republican who flies fighter jets in his campaign ads, which is so much cooler than normal campaign ads, will likely see an increase in energy costs in 2023, CBS News reports. Despite “Top Gov” Ron DeSantis’s nationally recognized leadership in handling the Critical Race Theory and LGBT groomer crises that threatened Florida schoolchildren’s emotional well-being, utilities in the state are going to go ahead and pass on projected increase in natural gas prices onto electric ratepayers.

“Both domestic conditions and international events have significantly impacted the natural gas market. Since early this year, natural gas prices have more than doubled due to increased domestic demand, flat natural gas production, strong LNG (liquefied natural gas) overseas exports, and low natural gas storage inventories. The natural gas market has not stabilized and continues to be extremely volatile,” said Duke Energy’s petition to the state Public Service Commission informing them of the increases, which might as well have been saying “Blah blah blah LGBT green eco-socialism wins, fossil-fuel loving patriots lose hahahahahaha suck it TOP GOV douchebag.”

pic.twitter.com/DZYErLW9Hz

— Memphis Police Dept (@MEM_PoliceDept) September 6, 2022

A November 2020 email from a Fox News producer to colleagues warned that Jeanine “Judge Box-o-Wine” Pirro was putting the network in legal jeopardy with her bullshit claims about Dominion Voting Systems equipment and that they needed to pull her off the air ASAP has become evidence in the defamation lawsuit from Dominion in which Fox News finds itself in serious legal jeopardy, NPR reports on a prophecy that’s about as neatly self-fulfilling as one can get.

Dominion’s lawyers claim the bullshit spewed by Fox News and other right wing propagandists who couldn’t accept the fact that their Orange God Emperor lost the 2020 election have done “enormous and irreparable economic harm,” to the company’s bottom line, projecting $600 million in losses over the next eight years, per their filings, which also cited the cancellation of a $10 million contract in Utah and an $100 million contract in Louisiana as a directly attributable result of the lies.

Footage obtained by CNN and the Washington Post shows fake Trump 2020 elector and former Coffee County, Georgia GOP co-chair Cathy Latham leading MAGA conspiracy freak Scott Hall and a third unidentified individual into the county’s election offices on the same day a breach reportedly occurred. Making it even more insane is that the day in question was January 7th, 2021, hours after Congress had officially certified the result of the 2020 election following the Capitol riot when most of the similarly “institutional” elements of the MAGA coup attempt had already given up. Latham – along with the 15 other fake Trump 2020 Georgia electors – is also currently a target of the criminal investigation in Fulton County so this footage going public certainly isn’t good news for her.

Trump-founded Twitter clone Truth Social is in deep shit as Digital World Acquisition Corp, the publicly-traded shell company attempting to merge with the platform’s parent, the Trump Media and Technology Group, failed to get enough shareholders to vote in favor of extending the deadline for the deal – currently held up by SEC and Justice Department investigations into all sorts of fuckery – to be completed, Reuters reports. The problem is not that the shareholders voted against the merger so much as they didn’t vote at all. Without an extension on the deal’s deadline, DWAC will dissolve on Thursday and the shareholders will be automatically refunded the remaining value of their positions. It’s not clear how difficult an extension would be to pull off, but should DWAC cease to exist, Truth would be cut off from the $1.3 billion in funding it is counting on to survive.

Fat idiot Boris Johnson’s maladministration is officially over in the United Kingdom as fellow Conservative Liz Truss – who isn’t held in particularly high regard either – was given the Queen’s approval to begin her premiership on Tuesday, the New York Times reports.

The Stabbin’ Sanderson Brothers is now a solo act after the older of the two, 31 year old Damien Sanderson, was found dead of apparently non-self-inflicted wounds on Monday in Saskatchewan while 30 year old Myles Sanderson remains at large, CNN reports. The two brothers had murdered at least 10 people and wounded 18 in their knife attack spree that has left the central Canadian province shaken. “There’s a lot of anxiety in our province right now in our communities and throughout the country. And so we need to start the healing process and until we can make this arrest that isn’t going to happen,” said Regina, Saskatchewan Police Chief Evan Bray.

With Democrat Mary Peltola winning last week’s special U.S. House election in Alaska to finish the term of the late Republican Congressman Don Young, the state’s half-term Republican governor and reality TeeVee personality Sarah Palin is calling on fellow Republican candidate Nick Begich to withdraw from the race, CBS News reports.

In Alaska’s new rank-choice voting system, Palin was running second to Peltola in the special election when the final round of voting was calculated.  The voters whose first choice was Begich had their second-ranked votes counted, but it was not enough for Palin to overtake Peltola.  More than 11,000 Begich voters didn’t select a second-choice candidate, a margin more than enough to cover Peltola’s roughly 5,300 vote margin of victory.

So instead of trying to convince voters that she’s the best candidate–or in this case, even the second-best–Palin wants her Republican rival to drop out so she can–wait… what?  Palin would lose again if the same percentage of people didn’t support her?  Really?  So her whole, “Nick Begach shouldn’t run because he’s costing me votes” thing is BS, because the voters still would not vote for her.

American intelligence has declassified information indicating that Russia is being forced to buy millions of artillery shells and missiles from North Korea, an indication that the sanctions and boycotts from the US, the EU and other nations are having a crippling effect on Russia’s ability to sustain a war in Ukraine, the New York Times reports.

Russian leaders believed it could completely overwhelm Ukraine within days of invasion.  Instead, the Ukrainians have mounted an effective defense against the Russian invaders, armed in large part by Western allies, meaning the Russians have had to expend far more resources to maintain their gains in eastern Ukraine.

Earlier, US intel agencies reported Russia had made a large purchase of drones from Iran and they were frequently malfunctioning in the field.  It appears that China is not willing to violate international bans on providing Russia with military equipment, although China is funding Russia by buying its oil at discounted prices.

One of the two brothers suspected in Sunday’s mass stabbing in Saskatchewan that left ten dead and 18 injured was found dead Monday morning at the James Smith Cree Nation, the Washington Post reports.

Officials confirmed Monday afternoon that they found the body of 31-year-old Damien Sanderson, who apparently died due to homicide; police say there is evidence the fatal wounds were not self-inflicted.

The other suspect in the stabbings, which took place at 13 different locations at the James Smith Cree Nation and in nearby Weldon, 30-year-old Myles Sanderson, is believed to be in or around Regina.

A second web-hosting and security provider has dropped a shadow site for the notorious hate-spewing social media site Kiwi Farms, the second time in two days that the site has been deplatformed, the Associated Press reports.  The move essentially removes any public access to the site.

DDoS-Guard, a Russia-based web-hosting service, said it dropped a Russian version of Kiwi Farms that featured the .ru as the top level domain.  The site may have been a back-up site for the main site that up until Saturday had been hosted by Cloudflare, an American hosting service.  The site had been activated intermittently since Cloudfare cut off service.

“Having analyzed the content of the site, we decided on the termination of DDoS protection services” for a version of the Kiwi Farms site with a Russian .ru domain name, the DDoS-Guard said in a statement.  The company said it had received multiple complaints about Kiwi Farms, which fosters a homophobic, misogynistic and transphobic boards where users target people for harassment and terroristic threats.

Six people, including two embassy staffers, were killed in a bomb explosion outside the Russian embassy in Kabul, Afghanistan, Reuters reports.  The Islamic State has claimed responsibility for the attack.

The attack injured ten people both inside and outside the embassy.  No one inside the embassy was killed.  Police claim the suicide bomber was killed before the blast, but that means he would’ve had to detonate the bomb prior to dying, and that he likely died in the blast prior to succumbing to the gunshot wounds.

While Russia maintained its embassy after the Taliban took over Afghanistan while many other nations pulled out, the Kremlin has not yet formally recognized the government in Kabul as the legitimate leaders.

Shot in her side, with the bullet injuring her colon and intestines, teacher Elsa Avila sat putting pressure on her wound as she texted people for help during the May mass murder.  Intending a message for a teachers’ group chat, she mistakenly sent a scary message to a family chat group:  “I’m shot.”

According to the Associated Press, three minutes later, from Room 109, down the hall from where the shooter had barricaded himself into adjoining classrooms 111 and 112, systematically murdering 19 students and two teachers, Avila could hear police outside her classroom door.  She texted her vice principal:  “I’m shot.  Send help.”  Minutes later, still hearing police outside her door, she sent the same message to a school counselor.  That was at 11:45 a.m.  “Yes they are coming,” the principal wrote back at 11:48 a.m.  Help would not reach her for another 45 minutes, when police broke a window to the classroom to evacuate the students and teachers.

It’s unclear if anyone was relaying the messages from inside the school building and various classrooms to law enforcement to allow them to assist the wounded in other areas of the school.  Avila’s classroom, Room 109, was two doors down the hall from where the shooter had taken up a position–in a classroom where the door reportedly didn’t lock properly, but which police didn’t try to enter for more than an hour.