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What happens to a conspiracy theorist who can no longer admit that his conspiracy theories are lies?  Well, we’re about to find out, as popular conspiratorial blowhard Alex Jones was forced to admit under oath that the 2012 Sandy Hook massacre actually happened and more than two dozen people actually died.

According to the Associated Press, Jones said on the stand, “It was … especially since I’ve met the parents. It’s 100% real,” without elaborating why meeting the parents would shift his view when there was overwhelming evidence–like 28 dead bodies riddled with gunshots that were found at Sandy Hook Elementary School–would’ve convinced a normal person who was not out to exploit others’ grief for their own personal wealth and fame.

Jones has made a career–and a media empire–convincing people that real things aren’t real, from the 9/11 terrorist attack to mass shootings to vaccine denialism to the safety of various food (which he has claimed are infused with various nanobots to have The Massive Galactic Manipulators control all aspects of our life).

Another poll by Monmouth University rigged to demoralize and lie to traditional Americans who value faith and freedom puts Communism ahead of the Constitution 50% to 43% on the generic midterm ballot, down from the less fake polls that had America winning in the Spring. Meanwhile 38% of Americans approve of fake President Joe Biden, while another 56% are right about him.

“Recent events, such as the [fake, highly partisan, no cross-examination] Jan. 6th committee hearings and Supreme Court decisions [protecting life from the liberals], seem to have generated a bit more energy for the [Satanic socialist] Democrats, but it is not clear that this is actual momentum. It may simply be ongoing volatility in a public largely unhappy with the way things are going in [the swamp] Washington,” said Monmouth liberal Patrick Murray, who hates America.

The Truckee Meadows Fire Protection District’s Station 30 has been closed for the second time in seven years due to bats nesting in the station’s living quarters and ambulance bay, KRNV reports.

The flying rodents are a health and safety hazard to personnel, and until the little bastards can be dealt with, the firefighters and EMTs will be stationed at different locations in the district.

Arizona Republican governor primary candidate Karrin Taylor Robson was leading Tuesday night, winning big. Robson was leading by thousands and thousands votes with almost nothing left. And all of a sudden everything just stopped. This is a fraud on the Arizona public. This is an embarrassment to their state. She were getting ready to win this election. Frankly, she did win this election. She did win this election. So her goal now is to ensure the integrity for the good of Arizona. This is a very big moment. This is a major fraud in Arizona.

They were finding ballots at four o’clock in the morning and adding them to the list. Okay? It’s a very sad moment. To us this is a very sad moment and Karrin Taylor Robson will win this. And as far as we’re concerned, she already has won it. Lying fraud Kari Lake should stand up for election integrity. Stop the count! No wait, keep counting. Karrin Taylor Robson had massive enthusiasm, crowds like you wouldn’t believe. Mike Pence showed up to rally with her. Kari Lake isn’t doing the right thing, she’s not fighting for election integrity. She stole this election.

Michigan GOP gov primary candidate and Capitol rioter Ryan Kelley is, per the New York Times, currently in fourth place in a field of five, with 164,597 votes to projected winner Tudor Dixon’s 433,772 now needs to figure out a way to stop his own steal. Not conceding is a good start.

On Tuesday Detroit News politics editor Chad Livengood reported he spoke with a woman who had just voted for Kelley as she was leaving the precinct. When Livengood asked the woman what she thought of Kelley’s arrest, she “was unaware” and “got upset that no one told her.” Livengood then suggested she read the Detroit News, “she went on a news media rant…”

In another successful Trump revenge, Republican Arizona state House Speaker and House January 6th Select Committee witness Rusty Bowers was defeated by MAGA rival former state Senator David Farnsworth Arizona in the state Senate district 10 GOP primary Tuesday, NBC News projects.

Bowers was censured by the state GOP after testifying over the harassment from MAGA terrorists he endured in 2020 following the Orange God Emperor’s narrow loss in the state. The censure claimed Bowers had “lost the confidence of a majority of Republican Party leaders,” and he had thus lost “any and all recognition and support of him as a member of” the party over a litany of sins that did not actually include testifying. While Bowers’ defeat is not a one-to-one comparison to Wisconsin since Bowers was seeking a different office, it should nevertheless be terrifying to the Cheesehead state’s feckless Assembly Speaker Robin Vos now that the Orange Pharaoh has decreed Vos unworthy of serving him and his Holy MAGA Empire and endorsed a challenger.

“Well, the outcome was not optimal, but the people’s voices were heard”

– The current top comment on the Breitbart article “Kansas Overwhelmingly Votes to Uphold Abortion ‘Rights’” posted just after midnight on Wednesday.

Reversing a lower court ruling, a federal appeals court upheld a series of military court rulings that allow the military to court-martial a retired service member for crimes committed after retirement, something that probably makes a certain retired lieutenant general stain his civvies, Courthouse News reports.

The case in question centers on a retiree, Steven Larrabee, who served 20 years in the Marines and became a contractor working at a base in Japan while he also managed two off-base bars.  He was accused of sexual assaulting a bartender who also happened to be the wife of an active duty Marine in one of the off-base bars.

Upon retiring, Larrabee became a member of the reserves.  Larrabee claimed he could not be court-martialed because he was no longer in active service; however, the military courts determined that his actions violated military law, and while Larrabee was a civilian at the time he committed the assault, he could be court-martialed.

Dave Wasserman has called the Republican primary race in the Michigan 3rd Congressional District for MAGA-loving candidate John Gibbs, who defeated incumbent Peter Meijer, who was one of a handful of Republicans to vote to impeach Donald Trump after the January 6th Republican domestic terrorist attack on Congress.

With that call, Wasserman also switched the district from Leans Republican to Leans Democratic, with unchallenged nominee Hillary Scholten favored.

Anti-Democracy fuckrag Arizona state Rep Mark Finchem has won the Republican Secretary of State primary election, Cook Political Report’s Dave Wasserman projects.

Donald Trump’s White House Counsel Pat Cipollone has been subpoenaed by a federal grand jury investigating the plot to undermine the legitimate results of the 2020 election by members of the Trump cabal, the New York Times reports.

There are two separate grand juries known to be looking into the plot to shred the Constitution and install Trump into a second term using slates of false electors and non-existent powers of the Vice President; it is unclear which of the two have called Cipollone.

The longtime voice of the Los Angeles Dodgers who announced games for the team for two-thirds of a century, Vin Scully, has died at the age of 94, ESPN reports.

Scully served as a radio broadcaster for the team for eight years when the Dodgers still played in Brooklyn before moving with the team to Los Angeles in 1958.  He started his career in broadcasting as a college football announcer in 1948.

In a crowded field of seven candidates vying for the Republican nomination, 8kun administrator Ron Watkins, the man very widely suspected to be the author of most if not all of the QAnon “drops” for the last four years, is currently in seventh place, with 1,437 votes to Trump-endorsed former Navy SEAL Eli Crane’s 15,365 as of 11:19 PM EDT on Tuesday night, per the New York Times.

BREAKING IN #ArizonaPrimary Felt Tipped Markers ELECTION officials forced voters use crumble under use pressure of mass use Tip goes soft drenched ballots w extra ink causing bleed through once again Last time 129k ballots had AN EXTRA 2.1 votes appear FORCED ADJUDUCATION AGAIN

— JovanHuttonPulitzer™ (@JovanHPulitzer) August 3, 2022

If you don’t know who Jovan Hutton Pulitzer (real name:  Jeffrey Jovan Philway) is, lucky you.  He’s the guy who came up with the CueCat paper scanner–a portable feline image scanner that any good marketer would have called the CatScan–and he also pushed a machine he claimed could identify bamboo threads in ballots in Arizona to (ahem) prove the ballots were manufactured in China.

I honestly have no idea what he’s trying to say in this tweet, other than to try to claim already that the Arizona election is being manipulated somehow… a claim he will likely drop if/when his favored candidates win.  This is how crazy these people are.

The ballot initiative to determine if the Kansas state constitution prohibits abortion failed Tuesday in a huge win for pro-choicers, Cook Political Report’s Dave Wasserman projects.

Trump endorsed B-movie actress and conservative commentator Tudor Dixon has been declared the winner of the Michigan GOP primary for governor, Cook Political Report’s Dave Wasserman declared.  She will face incumbent Democrat Gretchen Whitmer in November.

Trump endorsed Dixon, who has not had any relevant government or management experience, but she did take a turn on camera as Claire in the short-live sci-fi series “Transitions” (and little else) besides frequent appearances on Fox propaganda network, had a 20-point poll lead when Trump endorsed her four days ago, in a very obvious attempt to pad his statistics.

And that’s Attorney General Eric Schmitt, not disgraced former Governor Eric Greitens, Cook Political Report Dave Wasserman projects. Moscow Mitch can sleep slightly easier tonight only having to deal with Mehmet Oz, Herschel Walker, and probably Blake Masters. Trump gets no extra endorsement win on this one, being too chickenshit to endorse Greitens like he wanted to. Reps Billy Long and Vicky Hartzler’s careers in Congress end in failed aspirations for higher office, as does Mark “Get off my lawn” McCloskey’s aspiration for any office. And probably his legal career.

“Wisconsin’s 63rd Assembly District has a rising patriotic candidate named Adam Steen, who is running against the RINO Speaker of the Assembly, Robin Vos. Although Vos claims to be a Republican, he is constantly fighting America First efforts and policies. Our great slogan, Make America Great Again, is not exactly high on his list! Robin Vos supports substantially increasing Wisconsin’s gas tax, a terrible move that will seriously hurt the State’s residents.”

“He is also demanding the turning of Wisconsin’s public highways into toll roads as an easy, but painful, way of raising funds. As Speaker of the Assembly, Robin Vos consistently blocked efforts at conducting a full cyber forensic audit of the 2020 Election. In fact, his appointee to study Election Fraud in Wisconsin, highly-respected Justice Michael Gableman, found massive Election-changing fraud, abuse, and irregularities. Despite hearing this powerful evidence, Vos refused to do anything to right the wrongs that were done. Vos let the big Supreme Court victory become just another story. Interestingly, Justice Gableman has strongly endorsed Adam Steen. Janel Brandtjen, the Chairwoman of the Wisconsin Assembly’s Election Committee, has also endorsed Steen, because Vos has blocked all of her efforts to secure the State’s Elections,” proclaimed the Orange God Emperor in a statement on Tuesday, finally making good his threat to try to destroy the career of a weakling who did everything he could to appease him all the same as he did to Vos’s counterpart in Arizona, Rusty Bowers, who at least had the balls to testify against the Donald.

After vocal public disgust when Republicans blocked its passage, a bill that would fund an extensive expansion of veterans health care passed the Senate as 25 GOP Senators reversed their previous reversal which they did to deny the Democrats a victory on a widely-popular piece of legislation, Politico reports.

As the gif of Senator Ted Cruz (R-Quintana Roo) and Republican Montana Senator Steve Daines fist-bumping in celebration of denying veterans treatment for things like illnesses caused by burn pits and other hazardous waste, and with comedian and activist Jon Stewart calling the GOP performance art “bullshit,” the Republicans decided to finally help veterans.  Still, 11 Republicans voted against the bill.

With Rand Paul still claiming the $278 billion legislation will bring the ruin of the American economy by helping those that protect the nation, the bill will now head to President Joe Biden’s desk for signature.