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Lindsey’s three cosmos in and doesn’t give a crap anymore

“We’re gonna push through all this bullshit, and I’m not going to listen to anything she has to say, Liz Cheney,” South Caroliiiiiina Repubrucan Snator Lisssssny Grrrrr… that’s funny, like a lion… Grrrrr… Grrrr… oh, right:  Grahmmmm says after dinner at The Palm.  “We’re not garbage as Trump supporters and women who support Trump are not dumb garbage.”

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Podcaster spent thousands in campaign funds at beauty spas

Manly man Cubadian podcaster Ted Cruz, who is also a member of the US Senate (R-Quintana Roo) running for re-election, has spent more than $9,000 on luxury spa treatments since 2016, including more than $1,500 this year, in questionable expenditures, HuffPost reports.

According to FEC filings, Cruz’s campaign paid for nearly $300 in treatments at a spa in New York City while the podcaster was making a bus tour in Texas.  During two sprees in Houston, the campaign spent $1,100 in spa treatments.  Spending campaign money on personal luxuries for the candidate or a family member of the candidate violates FEC regulations.

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WAR FOR THE WHITE HOUSE 2024: Friday, November 1st

This is it, ladies and gents, the true final stretch. It is actually November now and with it we’re going to run a live blog to pick up all of the last few rallies and the smaller updates that might not merit their own individual posts here in our main article feed.

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Federal judge kicks Philly DA’s case vs Musk back to state court

“On October 28, Philadelphia District Attorney Lawrence Krasner, acting on behalf of the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, filed this lawsuit in the Philadelphia County Court of Common Pleas. Krasner alleges that America PAC and its founder Elon Musk, by virtue of Mr Musk’s awarding selected registered voters $1 million dollars in exchange for signing America PAC’s ‘Petition in Favor of Free Speech and the Right to Bear Arms,’ is violating Pennsylvania’s Lottery Law and Unfair Trade Practices and Consumer Protection Law. Krasner seeks to enjoin the Defendants from continuing with their program. Mr Musk’s efforts come within the context of next week’s presidential election and his support for former President Trump, something the lawsuit focuses on. For example, in addition to claiming the Defendants violated state laws, Krasner emphasizes the need, among other things, to prevent interference with the presidential election and ensure it is ‘free, fair and final…'”

“Having now considered the parties’ submissions, the Court grants the motion and remands the case back to the Court of Common Pleas,” writes Pennsylvania US District Judge Gerald Pappert in kicking Ketamine Brain out of federal court, along with his shitbag lawyers – one of whom, Matt Haverstick – also got tossed out of the Supreme Court on Thursday by none other than friggin Sam Alito when Haverstick tried to get Los Supremos to require Pennsylvania to post signs at polling places advertising Russian asset Cornel West as a write-in option since he isn’t on the ballot.

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Mark Cuban “being decimated by women all over the country”

“Mark Cuban, a total loser, is being decimated by women all over the Country, especially since they know and admire the many GREAT women that work for, and with, me. They are very ‘INTELLIGENT’ and, likewise, very ‘STRONG.’ Cuban has been hit so hard that he was forced to issue an apology, but his apology is worthless. I’ve known him a long time. He’s a bad guy, with major character flaws.”

“He’s also very weak and insecure, and will do and say anything for publicity. He was a staunch supporter of Crooked Hillary during her failed Campaign for President, and is now a supporter of Lyin’ Kamala Harris, but that’s only because I don’t take his many phone calls anymore. Just don’t have the time or inclination to do so. He can never recover from the horrible statement he made yesterday about a woman’s strength and intelligence, but he is going to have to try, because what he said was totally unacceptable!” posted convicted felon former President Trump on Friday, definitely not freaking out about women voters, as reported, and focusing on fucking Mark Cuban out of sheer desperation. Not at all. Everything’s fine and the Orange God Emperor is fully in control.

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Surprise! Russians made fake video of Haitians voting

“The IC assesses that Russian influence actors manufactured a recent video that falsely depicted individuals claiming to be from Haiti and voting illegally in multiple counties in Georgia. This judgment is based on information available to the IC and prior activities of other Russian influence actors, including videos and other disinformation activities. The Georgia Secretary of State has already refuted the video’s claims as false. Russian influence actors also manufactured a video falsely accusing an individual associated with the Democratic presidential ticket of taking a bribe from a US entertainer. This Russian activity is part of Moscow’s broader effort to raise unfounded questions about the integrity of the US election and stoke divisions among Americans, as detailed in prior ODNI election updates. In the lead up to election day and in the weeks and months after, the IC expects Russia to create and release additional media content that seeks to undermine trust in the integrity of the election and divide Americans,” says the Office of the Director of National Intelligence (ODNI), the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI), and the Cybersecurity and Infrastructure Security Agency (CISA) in a joint statement.

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Harris campaign says “Garbage Island” turned tide for late deciders

Vice President Kamala Harris’s campaign leadership tells the Washington Post’s Matt Viser that their internal data show them winning by double digits among swing state voters who made up their minds with in the last week, with real measurable, observable, and thus very serious damage being done to convicted felon former President Trump’s standing by the Madison Square Garden rally. “It really broke through. It’s helped gel their feeling about this race,” a “senior official” on the team told Viser, who writes “Harris campaign clearly views Madison Square Garden rally as a turning point among late-breaking undecided voters, in ways that’s giving them confidence in the final days.”

Huh. That’s a pretty interesting political news update, right?

Just trying to stay understated about all this given the stakes involved and the wages of hubris and all that. Thing is that, even all the homerism and motivated reasoning aside, there’s an important contrast here: The Trump team has been saying shit like this every single day for the past almost two years now and then really nine years about how the data and polling etc points toward nothing less than complete and total victory over the enemy (or that MSM pollsters are full of shit).

Meanwhile from the Harris team over the last three months we’ve had like how many anonymous quotations projecting real confidence and assuredness? All this “context” lately and here’s one that matters. Can’t recall EVER hearing the Harris team talk like this. Yeah David Plouffe was pretty cool and cheery on a podcast a few weeks ago but he wasn’t using words like “double-digits.”

Anyhoo, Ben Shapiro’s podcast says Dems are in desperation mode during these final days.

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Team Orange flies FEC complaint against Washington Post

“The Trump-Vance Campaign has filed a Federal Election Commission (FEC) complaint against The Washington Post for illegal in-kind contributions to Harris for President. According to reports, the Post is using its advertising powers to promote pro-Kamala and anti-Trump coverage to voters in the final days of the election. While they declined to endorse her publicly, they have endorsed her in the dark; so much for ‘Democracy Dies in Darkness.’ The mainstream media has become nothing more than pro-Kamala propaganda. The Democrat machine must be held accountable,” says a Trump campaign statement, lol. On Wednesday Semafor reported the Post was paying Facebook and other platforms to boost their stories critical of Trump as an apparent means of trying to staunch the bleeding from a Lib subscriber exodus after the chickenshit non-endorsement of Harris.

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Report: Maxim magazine still being published

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Villager “disgusted” by ad depicting Rick Scott as a python

“I recently saw the most disgusting political ad I have ever seen. It was Debbie Mucarsel-Powell’s ad depicting Senator Rick Scott as a very large python. They actually transferred Senator Scott’s image on the head of the snake. Rick Scott has served Florida as governor and now US Senator and is seeking re-election. I don’t know the man but I do know that he has served honorably whether or not you agree with him. He is a father and grandfather and I respect his service. Anyone who makes a decision to publish an ad like that is not deserving of public office. It is a clear representation of their judgement. Can you imagine the impact on his children and grandchildren if they see that ad. There is a limit to sleazy politics – this was way beyond sleazy – this was inhuman and unacceptable. If you see it, you cannot vote for the sponsor who put her name on it. Unbelievable! My two cents,” wrote Village of La Reynalda resident Robert Nyce in a letter to the editor at Villages-News.

Look, we’ll just leave it alone whether or not this guy’s pretending to be offended because the ad is actually effective. It’s obvious enough. What we really want to address is this: Rick Scott looks like a reptile and has a very reptilian personality. It’s just his brand and it’s even sort of an asset in a state filled with deadly reptiles. Why’s this dude gotta get all worked up over it?

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Republicans drop the ball on rainbow fentanyl again this Halloween

For now the second Halloween in a row, Republicans failed to warn voters about the dangers of malevolent actors giving rainbow fentanyl to trick-or-treaters. For example, a Google search turns up just two articles from a Hawaiian news site saying “while there hasn’t been any cases of fentanyl involved in Halloween candies so far, some parents are concerned that it will just take one.”

“I don’t allow my kids to open anything without me looking at all their candy because it’s just much more dangerous. And because poisons or fentanyl, things like that, could be injected or placed inside the candy without anybody even noticing,” said Oahu man David Onerheim, who we guess is still on the kick two years after then-RNC chair Ronna Not-Romney made her infamous warning.

The other article quotes a Honolulu Police Department Sergeant saying to inspect the candy because “What we’re seeing right now these days is actually there’s something called the rainbow fentanyl” and then telling parents to “glove up” before they inspect the kids’ candy and Jesus Christ, lol… Anyway the localized coverage is hardly indicative of the national crisis that was primed to explode two years ago and we place the blame squarely on Republicans for not recycling it to portray a vote for Trump as being a vote to protect your kids from rainbow fentanyl five days before election day even if that never made much sense to begin with. They still fucked this up big time.

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Dullard MAGA Congressman actually believes “bone spurs” story

That Tennessee MAGA Congressman Tim Burchett actually believes convicted felon former President Trump’s “bone spurs” story he used to avoid getting drafted to fight in Vietnam just barely wins out as the most ridiculous shit this moron said to CNN’s Jim Acosta Friday morning as he tried and failed to defend the fat fuck saying Liz Cheney should be shot – one way or another – at a rally with Tucker Carlson on Thursday with Burchett trying to make it about military service and so on.

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“Speaker fears foreign powers laundering money to Democrats”

“As a sprawling congressional investigation into online political fundraising expands, House Speaker Mike Johnson said Thursday he fears foreign adversaries such as China and Iran may be laundering money to Democrats this election, and he is vowing lawmakers will take punitive actions against overseas actors if the allegations are corroborated,” writes disgraced propagandist John Solomon in the lede to his “exclusive” interview with Jesus Dork Speaker of the House Mike Johnson, lol.

“This is a massive scandal,” Johnson told Solomon and lol again, which Solomon writes comes “just days after House Oversight Committee Chairman James Comer revealed to lawmakers in a confidential memo that the Treasury Department has confirmed it possesses hundreds of Suspicious Activity Reports.” Lololololololololol. Comer’s obtained law enforcement reports, you say?

“My theory is that they’re taking money from foreign nationals, primarily Iran, Russia China, and Venezuela, and they’re breaking down the donations into smaller gifts and making it look as though these are, you know, this is a wave of new donors, American people, that are doing this,” Johnson continued. Mind you this is three months after the House GOP and MAGA state AGs responded to ActBlue taking in like almost $300 million in the first week of Vice President Kamala Harris’s campaign by opening up this “investigation.” The assclowns have nothing so Johnson is just airing it to Solomon just to make sure the time and energy spent on it goes to some base maintenance, lol.

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Mass bald eagle murderer gets nearly four years in the clink

“A Washington man who conspired to hunt and kill bald and golden eagles and hawks on the Flathead Indian Reservation to sell on the black market was sentenced today to three years and 10 months in prison, to be followed by three years of supervised release, and ordered to pay $777,250 restitution, US Attorney Jesse Laslovich said. The defendant, Travis John Branson, 49, of Cusick, Washington, and formerly of the Flathead Reservation, pleaded guilty in March to conspiracy, two counts of unlawful trafficking of bald and golden eagles and violation of the Lacey Act, which prohibits interstate trade in wildlife that has been taken, possessed, transported or sold in violation of federal or state law. The Lacey Act also prohibits any person from making or submitting any false record, account, label for or identification of wildlife that has been or was intended to be transported in interstate or foreign commerce,” says a press release from the Montana US Attorney’s office.

“In court documents, the government alleged that from about January 2015 until about March 2021, Branson and others hunted and killed eagles on the Flathead Reservation. Branson then sold the eagles on the black market across the United States and elsewhere. Brandon traveled from Washington to the Flathead Reservation, where he met co-defendant, Simon Paul. Branson and Paul would then shoot, transport and ship bald and golden eagles for future black-market sales. Co-defendant Paul remains a fugitive. The government sought restitution values of $5,000 per eagle and $1,750 per hawk. The government estimated that from 2009 until 2021, Branson made between $180,000 and $360,000 by selling eagles feathers and parts for profit on the black market.”

“The government’s investigation showed that Branson and others killed approximately 3,600 birds during the conspiracy. At least 118 eagles and 107 hawks killed were directly traceable to Branson and documented through his own text messages. Branson had taken up to nine eagles at a time”

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Team Orange starting to panic over first-time female voter turnout

Convicted felon former President Trump’s campaign are starting to freak the fuck out over internal data showing a massive surge in first-time female voters in the swing states – and in Pennsylvania especially – that the fat fuck needs to win to avoid losing and probably going to prison, feeling like they might have peaked too early when they were in ULTRA MAGA INEVITABLE VICTORY FUCK YOU LIBS mode just a week or two ago, Puck’s Tara Palmeri reports on what seems to be driving Donald’s recent string of Truth Social screams over imaginary voter fraud afoot in the Keystone State.

“They’re going so crazy here,” a minion told Palmeri. “Anyone who hears how rabid they are about this issue can’t walk away from this and think they feel comfortable about where they’re at in Pennsylvania. They’re talking about criminal referrals [emphasis Puck’s]. They want to find poll watchers who they feel are engaged in voter suppression so they can refer criminal prosecutions.”

Palmeri writes that RNC Chair Mike Whatley is fucked if Trump loses, while Elon Musk and Charlie Kirk “are firmly planted in Trump’s inner circle and would probably walk away unscathed,” should the worst happen, even though the ground game shitshow will have been their fault and that Musk hired two canvassing operatives previously linked to Ron DeSantis’s failed presidential campaign.

“On Election Night, the former president and three-time presidential candidate will take in the results at a private watch party at Mar-a-Lago with his inner circle, family, closest supporters, and donors. His fan base will be at the Palm Beach convention center, where he’ll arrive when he’s ready to make a statement. I think we already know what that will be,” Palmeri concludes her piece.

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Philippine Muslim rebel group members not really getting along

At least 19 guerrillas of the Moro Liberation Front, an ISIS-linked Muslim separatist group based in the southern Philippines region of Mindanao, are dead after a little disagreement between two commander over strategy or resources or maybe they were just bored, the Manila Times reports.

Philippine Army Lt Colonel Rowel Gavilanes said he and local Mayor Datu Malik Mamasabulod Alhadj said they had tried to stop the two factions from going medieval on each other – mind you Gavilanes and Alhadj are supposed to be Moros’ enemies – but couldn’t broker a deal. They’re going to try again now that the smoke has cleared and the body bags are being zipped up.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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