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Nagged by questions about his health, Philippines President Ferdinand “BongBong” Marcos on Monday stepped outside of his office and, rather than starting by addressing reporters’ said questions verbally, simply did jumping jacks and jogged in place while wearing a suit, the AP reports.

“I challenge anyone who are saying that I am sick, that they come and exercise with me,” Marcos then said. “You come to the gym with me. Let’s see who can lift the weights better. Those people who tell you that I’m sick, that I’m paralyzed, they’re all liars.” The AP does not describe Marcos’s delivery, as in whether he was particularly winded, but the absence of any such qualifier kind of answers that question, as does the apparent ebullience of the statement. The questions from reporters and social media rumors that the 68 year-old leader was on his deathbed did not come from nowhere as in January Marcos was hospitalized with a serious but treatable abdominal issue.

There’s no details in the AP story on what time of day this appearance occurred or, if it was in the morning/early afternoon, whether Marcos retired for the rest of the day. But that’s just needling, the bottom line is that he did the jumping jacks rather than have some unethical, supplicatory quack put his name on a letter that he did not write, a letter describing the president as being in completely perfect health, even healthier than a notorious fitness freak 15 years his junior. Nor did Marcos challenge a 36 year-old leftist congresswoman to a cognitive test and then just not do anything to set up that face-off. Marcos simply did the jumping jacks and said the rumors are bullshit.

Convicted felon President Trump’s worshippers on Sunday and Monday found themselves upset with their messiah for using AI-generated imagery to illustrate their feelings toward him, as though he somehow embarrassed them for simply taking their devotion to its natural conclusion.

Evidently determined to live up to the stereotypes, Politico on Monday printed “Hungary’s Election Sends a Jolting Message — to Democrats” because, and they actually wrote this, “The outcome is a setback for the White House and a humiliation for its best friend in Europe. But the sharpest message from Budapest should be for the Democrats, strange as that may sound…”

It’s like they’re trying to get themeselves a shoutout from “New York Times Pitchbot.”

“Pope Leo is WEAK on Crime, and terrible for Foreign Policy. He talks about ‘fear’ of the Trump Administration, but doesn’t mention the FEAR that the Catholic Church, and all other Christian Organizations, had during COVID when they were arresting priests, ministers, and everybody else, for holding Church Services, even when going outside, and being ten and even twenty feet apart. I like his brother Louis much better than I like him, because Louis is all MAGA. He gets it, and Leo doesn’t! I don’t want a Pope who thinks it’s OK for Iran to have a Nuclear Weapon. I don’t want a Pope who thinks it’s terrible that America attacked Venezuela, a Country that was sending massive amounts of Drugs into the United States and, even worse, emptying their prisons, including murderers, drug dealers, and killers, into our Country. And I don’t want a Pope who criticizes the President of the United States because I’m doing exactly what I was elected, IN A LANDSLIDE, to do, setting Record Low Numbers in Crime, and creating the Greatest Stock Market in History.”

“Leo should be thankful because, as everyone knows, he was a shocking surprise. He wasn’t on any list to be Pope, and was only put there by the Church because he was an American, and they thought that would be the best way to deal with President Donald J Trump. If I wasn’t in the White House, Leo wouldn’t be in the Vatican. Unfortunately, Leo’s Weak on Crime, Weak on Nuclear Weapons, does not sit well with me, nor does the fact that he meets with Obama Sympathizers like David Axelrod, a LOSER from the Left, who is one of those who wanted churchgoers and clerics to be arrested. Leo should get his act together as Pope, use Common Sense, stop catering to the Radical Left, and focus on being a Great Pope, not a Politician. It’s hurting him very badly and, more importantly, it’s hurting the Catholic Church!” posted convicted felon President Trump, lol.

Fuck you! No peace for you! Resign bitch or be expelled! I’ve spent all day today and yesterday working the phones with Dems who are ready to cut you loose!

— George Santos (@Georgesantos) April 13, 2026

“US Central Command (CENTCOM) forces will begin implementing a blockade of all maritime traffic entering and exiting Iranian ports on April 13 at 10 am ET, in accordance with the President’s proclamation. The blockade will be enforced impartially against vessels of all nations entering or departing Iranian ports and coastal areas, including all Iranian ports on the Arabian Gulf and Gulf of Oman. CENTCOM forces will not impede freedom of navigation for vessels transiting the Strait of Hormuz to and from non-Iranian ports. Additional information will be provided to commercial mariners through a formal notice prior to the start of the blockade. All mariners are advised to monitor Notice to Mariners broadcasts and contact US naval forces on bridge-to-bridge channel 16 when operating in the Gulf of Oman and Strait of Hormuz approaches,” said CENTCOM on Sunday.

Hungarian opposition leader Peter Magyar’s Tisza Party on Sunday captured a comfortable majority and well within reach of the real prize, 2/3rds of seats in Budapest’s parliament, the supermajority required to make constitutional changes to undo all of the authoritarian impositions by pro-Trump dictator Viktor Orban, who conceded a “painful” defeat well before all the results had been tallied.

The actual words “with tears in his eyes” appear in Politico EU’s reporting on Orban’s concession, lol.

Thus ends 16 years of the evil slob’s rule, a stretch that has seen nothing even remotely close to economic prosperity for the country. A dirty little secret all the fanboys like Tucker Carlson and bisexual CPAC chair Matt Schlapp won’t tell you is that life in Hungary simply sucks considerably more than it did in 2010 and Orban did nothing to improve the condition of the average citizen

Prosecuting people for a Pride parade can only work for so long, especially when you’re depending on billions in annual handouts from the rest of the European Union to not go completely broke.

Also lol at JD Vance and Vladimir Putin, the former of whom got embarrassed on the world stage for the second time in under 24 hours and especially the former who loses an important veto over EU policy. This is actually REALLY not good for Vladdy Daddy. And, of course, convicted felon President Trump takes an L on yet another one of his endorsed candidates for about the fifth time this year.

Complete scumbag Wisconsin Senator Ron Johnson said he’s not surprised neckbearded Vice President JD Vance failed to get the Iranians to submit to his sheer force of personality – but of course blamed the Iranians themselves and not, you know, the fat dumbass that started this fight.

“So, there you have it, the meeting went well, most points were agreed to, but the only point that really mattered, NUCLEAR, was not. Effective immediately, the United States Navy, the Finest in the World, will begin the process of BLOCKADING any and all Ships trying to enter, or leave, the Strait of Hormuz. At some point, we will reach an ‘ALL BEING ALLOWED TO GO IN, ALL BEING ALLOWED TO GO OUT’ basis, but Iran has not allowed that to happen by merely saying, ‘There may be a mine out there somewhere,’ that nobody knows about but them. THIS IS WORLD EXTORTION, and Leaders of Countries, especially the United States of America, will never be extorted. I have also instructed our Navy to seek and interdict every vessel in International Waters that has paid a toll to Iran.”

“No one who pays an illegal toll will have safe passage on the high seas. We will also begin destroying the mines the Iranians laid in the Straits. Any Iranian who fires at us, or at peaceful vessels, will be BLOWN TO HELL! Iran knows, better than anyone, how to END this situation which has already devastated their Country. Their Navy is gone, their Air Force is gone, their Anti Aircraft and Radar are useless, Khomeini, and most of their ‘Leaders,’ are dead, all because of their Nuclear ambition. The Blockade will begin shortly. Other Countries will be involved with this Blockade. Iran will not be allowed to profit off this Illegal Act of EXTORTION. They want money and, more importantly, they want Nuclear. Additionally and, at an appropriate moment, we are fully ‘LOCKED AND LOADED,’ and our Military will finish up the little that is left of Iran!” posted Donald on Sunday.

US Vice President JD Vance on Sunday departed Pakistan with nothing even remotely resembling a peace agreement with the Iranians, the AP reports on a historic, unprecedented failure.

DC US Attorney Jeanine “Judge Box-o-Wine” Pirro is not among the contenders to replace disgraced former Attorney General Pam Bondi due to what the Wall Street Journal reports is Pirro’s failure to bend the justice system to her will and successfully bring fkae cases against convicted felon President Trump’s enemies such as the “Seditious Six” and Fed chairman Jerome Powell.

“As Bondi’s ouster demonstrated, Trump is looking for not only eagerness but also effectiveness in pursuit of his political adversaries, and that has proven a hurdle for Pirro,” the Journal writes, adding the the Orange Tyrant “has personally noted to advisers that some of her cases have flopped.”

The Journal notes that Pirro is hard at work on her next flop: Prosecuting disgraced former New York Governor Andrew Cuomo for supposedly lying during his 2024 testimony to Congress over how he handled the 2020 COVID-19 pandemic that Trump grossly mishandled and got hundreds of thousands of his own fans killed, including one dumbass who drank aquarium cleaner that contained chloroquine the day that Trump claimed hydroxychloroquine was a miracle cure for the virus.

Neckbearded Vice President JD Vance announced at some ungodly hour local time in Pakistan that there had been no deal reached with the Iranians to end the war, CNN reports on the latest failure.

“We have been at it now for 21 hours, and we’ve had a number of substantive discussions with the Iranians. That’s the good news,” Vance told reporters in Islamabad. “The bad news is that we have not reached an agreement. And I think that’s bad news for Iran much more than it’s bad news for the United States of America. So we go back to the United States having not come to an agreement.”

This could’ve been a TikTok embed but, there aren’t as many such triumphal vids dated November 6, 2024 as there were that day. True, the joyously beaming young lady who captioned her video “How do you sleep knowing that you will be able to afford to get married, build a house, start a family, and live in a safe country #Trump2025” was able to afford to get married, possibly because her now-husband wore jeans to the altar instead of renting a full tux to their nuptials in a threadbare, likely prefabricated church. So things sort of worked out for her and even though she hasn’t posted anything thanking the now-47th president for delivering her the blessed life she anticipated – let alone any TikTok video at all since October of 2025, you could maybe sorta take the non-deletion as a continued passive vote of support for the commander-in-chief and his policies.

But better safe than sorry. You never know when the other zoomer-aged female TikTok user who posted the above “Stayin Alive” video ripped to YouTube will delete it out of shame.

“The Fake News Media has lost total credibility, not that they had any to begin with. Because of their massive Trump Derangement Syndrome (Sometimes referred to as TDS!), they love saying that Iran is ‘winning’ when, in fact, everyone knows that they are LOSING, and LOSING BIG! Their Navy is gone, their Air Force is gone, their Anti Aircraft apparatus is nonexistent, Radar is dead, their Missile and Drone Factories have been largely obliterated along with the Missiles and Drones themselves and, most importantly, their longtime ‘Leaders’ are no longer with us, praise be to Allah!”

“The only thing they have going is the threat that a ship may ‘bunk’ into one of their sea mines which, by the way, all 28 of their mine dropper boats are also lying at the bottom of the sea. We’re now starting the process of clearing out the Strait of Hormuz as a favor to Countries all over the World, including China, Japan, South Korea, France, Germany, and many others. Incredibly, they don’t have the Courage or Will to do this work themselves. Very interestingly, however, empty Oil carrying ships from many Nations are all heading to the United States of America to LOAD UP with Oil,” posted the Orange Grandpa on Saturday morning after a night spent glued to cable news.

No screenshots or video clips of “The Fake News Media” saying outright that “Iran is ‘winning'” were attached to the post, because there are none. Instead he’s simply enraged at the for reporting the austere reality: They’ve taken a beating but they are not even close to destroyed by the simple fact that the fat fucking weasel is too scared to commit American lives to a bloody full-on invasion of the country to eradicate Tehran’s regime. Hell he won’t even try to seize control of Kharg Island, a strategy that was floated by all the instant geopolitical experts in the MAGAverse last month.

At least a third of Ireland’s 1,500 gas stations were out of fuel on Saturday as a truck and tractor blockade of the country’s lone refinery and several distribution depots continued in protest of the sudden price spikes brought by convicted felon President Trump’s stupid Iran war, the AP reports.

The main highway around the capital of Dublin and many other key arteries were closed and the Garda, the Irish national police force, were called in for double shifts. Prime Minister Micheal Martin was baffled as it – obviously – wasn’t any policy of his government that caused the price spikes. “It is unconscionable, it’s illogical, it is difficult to comprehend,” Martin told state broadcaster RTE.

“Well yeah, no shit,” former President Joe Biden did not say as he was not asked to comment for the story. But unilateral action by malevolent, revanchist tyrants affect everyone globally and legitimate democratic governments at a remove from the action get blamed for it by their voters anyway.

As if to underscore that “illogic,” the bloated near-corpse actually responsible did indeed on Saturday morning post “Massive numbers of completely empty oil tankers, some of the largest anywhere in the World, are heading, right now, to the United States to load up with the best and ‘sweetest’ oil (and gas!) anywhere in the World. We have more oil than the next two largest oil economies combined – and higher quality. We are waiting for you. Quick turnaround!”

Eric Swalwell deserves his day in court. In politics however, some things simply amount to a preponderance and as such the extremely damning and credible allegations against him merit an immediate end to his gubernatorial campaign and his resignation from Congress five minutes ago.

Full stop. In the very extremely unlikely event this is some kind of honey trap and right wing conspiracy against him then his name can be cleared in the future and he can mount some kind of comeback. Just because Mike Johnson is complete worm and would not do the same to Tony Gonzales and Cory Mills does not somehow make it okay for Swalwell to stay. He needs to resign.

“My Administration stands ready to use the full Economic Might of the United States to strengthen Hungary’s Economy, as we have done for our Great Allies in the past, if Prime Minister Viktor Orbán and the Hungarian People ever need it. We are excited to invest in the future Prosperity that will be generated by Orbán’s continued Leadership!” posted Dollar Tree Orban on Friday.

In a stunning and basically unprecedented development, the AP reports that convicted felon President Trump’s minions acknowledged they were full of shit about something and, even more amazingly, it’s actually pretty bad for one of their most highly-touted propaganda narratives.

According to the wire service, when dipshit Center for Medicaid and Medicare Services Mehmet Oz warned that New York State’s Medicaid program last year provided some 5 million people with personal care services, which assist people in need with basic activities like bathing, grooming and meal preparation, which Oz said was “unheard of.” Which was accurate because it was unheard of and more than 10 times the number of actual patients on personal care services. CMS spokesman Chris Krepich acknowledged the idiotic overstatement to the AP, saying Team Oz had misread the state’s billing codes and once again the MAGA Reich’s incompetence hampers their malevolence.

“The error, which the administration admitted first to The Associated Press, prompted health analysts to question how many of the Republican administration’s sweeping anti-fraud efforts around the country were based on faulty findings,” the AP writes right after the lede of the article, hinting this is just the tip of the iceberg of the manifold fuckups in the Regime’s “fraud” crusade.