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Bribe pays off for Paramount

The Trump Regime on Thursday approved the merger between Paramount and Skydance, just weeks after Paramount paid the bribe of settling a $10 billion fake lawsuit for editing an interview.

“Americans no longer trust the legacy national news media to report fully, accurately, and fairly. It is time for a change. That is why I welcome Skydance’s commitment to make significant changes at the once storied CBS broadcast network. In particular, Skydance has made written commitments to ensure that the new company’s programming embodies a diversity of viewpoints from across the political and ideological spectrum. Skydance will also adopt measures that can root out the bias that has undermined trust in the national news media. These commitments, if implemented, would enable CBS to operate in the public interest and focus on fair, unbiased, and fact-based coverage. Doing so would begin the process of earning back Americans’ trust. Today’s decision also marks another step forward in the FCC’s efforts to eliminate invidious forms of DEI discrimination. And Skydance’s commitment to enhancing local news and reporting-coverage valued by the public-will also inure to the benefit of the American people,” said FCC Nazi Brendan Carr in a statement that had absolutely fuck all to do with antitrust laws and everything to do with the regime’s cunty victimhood.

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NYPD cop falls asleep guarding hospitalized suspect who stole two boats while naked, suspect dresses as doctor and escapes

Not a whole lot to add that wasn’t already in the headline, but to at least flesh it out, ABC 7 reports that 36 year-old Stephen Blasetti had been locked up in the psychiatric ward at New York Presbyterian in Washington Heights, Manhattan following his Saturday arrest for going on a joyride on the Hudson River in a stolen dinghy and then a moored catamaran – while completely naked.

“He jumps from one boat to the other,” a cop told the New York Post after the arrest, while another said it was believed that Blasetti was high on meth given the Florida-ish behavior.

The cop guarding the maniac could’ve used a little of that stuff too since he/she fell asleep while guarding Blasetti at the hospital Wednesday morning, allowing the maniac to slip out of his room, steal a doctor’s white coat, and escape the premises. If anything it shows that Blasetti is adaptable and learned that evading police is easier when one wears clothes to blend in with their surroundings.

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Middle East, North Africa seen as emerging market for Halal food

“According to the latest study from BCC Research, ‘Halal Food Regional Market Analysis: Middle East and North Africa’ is projected to reach $380.0 billion by the end of 2030, with a CAGR of 7.1 percent for the forecast period of 2025-2030. This report presents a detailed analysis of the halal food market across the MENA region, emphasizing emerging opportunities and market dynamics.”

“It explores key growth drivers such as technological innovation, economic trends, and strategic business initiatives. The market is segmented by product types and distribution channels, with country-specific insights for Saudi Arabia, the UAE, Egypt, Iran, the GCC countries, and the broader MENA region. Turkey and Israel are excluded in order to maintain focus on less-developed, higher-growth markets, offering a clearer perspective for businesses and investors aiming to tap into the region’s evolving halal food industry,” says a press release from BCC Research.

So yeah, the MENA region is seen as a huge emerging market for Halal food producers, according to whoever got paid to write this press release and the report it hypes, from whom you can likely also obtain other, similarly valuable insights such as “Asia: A huge market for rice” and “Mexico poised for explosive growth in guacamole, tortillas, jalapeños, and other spicy Southwest-themed foods.”

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WATCH LIVE: Orange God Emperor menaces Jerome Powell

“Getting ready to head over to the Fed to look at their, now, $3.1 Billion Dollar (PLUS!) construction project. Also present will be Fed Chair Jerome Powell, Senator Tim Scott, Senator Thom Tillis, OMB Director Russ Vought, Chairman of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, Bill Pulte, my Appointees to the National Capital Planning Commission, James Blair and Will Scharf, and various other construction professionals,” the fat fuck posted on Truth Social just before his tour of the Federal Reserve is set to begin.

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Regime sues New York City and Eric Adams because brown people

Shitbag US Attorney General Pam Bondi, whose department in February dropped federal corruption and bribery charges against New York City Mayor Eric Adams because they said it was interfering with his reelection effort while he was supposed to be helping them enforce the Trump Regime’s immigration policy, announced Thursday that her department is suing New York City and Mayor Eric Adams for not helping them enforce the Trump Regime’s immigration policy.

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“What we’re simply trying to do is give him cover”

Yes, the “him” in the headline is convicted felon President Trump and this is Markwayne Mullin saying he’s trying to give “cover” to the fat fuck on the Epstein shitshow, which is why Mullin objected to Dem Ruben Gallego’s bill compelling the government to make everything they have public.

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Markwayne blocks Epstein files release

Republican Oklahoma Senator Markwayne Mullin did convicted felon President Trump a solid on Thursday as he blocked unanimous consent for the passage of Arizona Dem Ruben Gallego’s SR 325 Epstein Transparency Act. It’s the second time in as many weeks that Mullin, an angry asshole, blocked the exposure a sex trafficking ring where Epstein and his friends raped teenage girls.

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White House freaks out over South Park episode

Reacting to Wednesday night’s season premiere of South Park which depicted convicted President Trump in a homosexual tryst with Satan, Trump White House spokeswiener Taylor Rogers tells Rolling Stone “The Left’s hypocrisy truly has no end – for years they have come after South Park for what they labeled as ‘offense’ [sic] content, but suddenly they are praising the show. Just like the creators of South Park, the Left has no authentic or original content, which is why their popularity continues to hit record lows. This show hasn’t been relevant for over 20 years and is hanging on by a thread with uninspired ideas in a desperate attempt for attention. President Trump has delivered on more promises in just six months than any other president in our country’s history – and no fourth-rate show can derail President Trump’s hot streak.” Now that was some serious butthurt.

South Park creators Trey Parker, Matt Stone, and their studio were paid $30 million for that episode, one of 50 in their five-season, $1.5 billion contract with Paramount, the global media company that just settled a fake lawsuit from the fat fuck to bribe their way to a merger with Skydance.

An anonymous White House official, who said they were a longtime fan of the show, found it “disappointing” that the nearly 30 year-old series would depict their boss with a micropenis.

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Grand jury declines to charge Los Angeles anti-ICE rioter

Trump-appointed US Attorney for the Central District of California, Bill Essayli, screamed frantically at a subordinate this week over a failure to obtain an indictment from a grand jury for someone the convicted felon president’s regime wanted to imprison for who knows what the hell they did during last month’s civil unrest over ICE raids at Home Depot and other places in and around Los Angeles.

The frantic screaming came to the attention of the Los Angeles Times because others heard him on the other end of the line during a phone call with the subordinate in a courthouse hallway. Sources say they distinctly heard Essayli command the prosecutor to ignore the DOJ’s “Justice Manual,” the internal codebook directing prosecutors to bring only the cases they can win at trial. It’s not clear beyond this one unidentified non-defendant what the exact tally is of cases that failed at the grand jury stage but the Times reports that of 38 individuals targeted for felony charges but it could be as many as nine because that’s the number who’ve been hit with misdemeanors – which don’t require a grand jury – instead. Another five have had their charges dismissed without prejudice.

Three have gotten plea deals, so it’s not nothing, but damn that pesky Sixth Amendment forcing them to rely on a hostile populace to indict their neighbors for fighting back against a racist gestapo.

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Third impeachment threat getting worked into GOP’s 2026 pitch

Republican strategists are workshopping an “If the Democrats win the House then Trump is going to get impeached again” messaging into their efforts to make sure MAGA voters come out big for their party next year because they’re fucking stupid, weak, and have nothing better, NBC News reports.

“The Trump voters are happy and complacent right now. And we have to get them fired up for next year. We have a lot of work to do. If President Trump is not on the ballot, it’s harder to get them out,” said Trump pollster John McLaughlin, adding “We know what the stakes are in the midterm elections. If we don’t succeed, Democrats will begin persecuting President Trump again. They would go for impeachment,” he continued and this would be pathetic enough if the same fucking article hadn’t been printed seven goddamned years ago, but here we are in the same stupid timeline.

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Reichsminister für Volksaufklärung has The View in his sights

Right after not denying that convicted felon President Trump had anything to do with CBS cancelling Stephen Colbert’s show on Thursday, FCC Reichsminister für Volksaufklärung Brendan Carr told Fox News’s Bill Hemmer that there may be some validity to the White House’s stated ambition to take The View off the air as reported by Entertainment Weekly on Wednesday.

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“This is not so! I want Elon to THRIVE… THRIVE like never before!”

“Everyone is stating that I will destroy Elon’s companies by taking away some, if not all, of the large scale subsidies he receives from the US Government. This is not so! I want Elon, and all businesses within our Country, to THRIVE, in fact, THRIVE like never before! The better they do, the better the USA does, and that’s good for all of us. We are setting records every day, and I want to keep it that way!” posted convicted felon President Trump on his shitty Twitter clone Thursday morning.

Huh. You know “Everyone” saying that could reasonably include Trump himself given statements such as one from 23 days ago in which he posted “Elon Musk knew, long before he so strongly Endorsed me for President, that I was strongly against the EV Mandate. It is ridiculous, and was always a major part of my campaign. Electric cars are fine, but not everyone should be forced to own one. Elon may get more subsidy than any human being in history, by far, and without subsidies, Elon would probably have to close up shop and head back home to South Africa. No more Rocket launches, Satellites, or Electric Car Production, and our Country would save a FORTUNE. Perhaps we should have DOGE take a good, hard, look at this? BIG MONEY TO BE SAVED!!!” and then later on camera unsubtly threatened to have the ketamine-brained billionaire denaturalized and deported.

Now not “everyone” but a lot of people on Musk’s social media network on Wednesday pointed out that Elon had kind of said Trump is in the Epstein files in early June which kind of tracks with the timeline of the Wall Street Journal’s reporting of the White House being informed of this, sooooooo…

Well you know, maybe Trump’s just trying to mend fences with a former pal after a nasty breakup.

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Regime apparently pulls MAGA Holocaust denier’s DOJ nomination

Convicted felon President Trump’s regime has apparently pulled Holocaust denier MAGA influencer Paul Ingrassia’s nomination to lead the Justice Department’s Office of Special Counsel as Axios’s Stef Knight reports that Ingrassia – a Gateway Pundit contributor whose greatest far right propaganda hits include Nikki Haley birtherism and 9/11 trutherism – no longer appears among the pending confirmations on the updated billing for a Thursday morning meeting of the Senate Committee on Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs. They always admit defeat quietly.

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HUD chief says Powell lowered rates during Biden Admin in 2018

Damn this guy’s kind of a fucking idiot. And so is Maria Bartiromo for not correcting him. in related news that neither of them likely brought up, the European Central Bank held their rates steady on Thursday. It’s not terribly relevant to the whole MAGA anti-Federal Reserve crusade save for the fact that the Orange Slob constantly brings it up while ranting about “Too Late.”

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Trump Regime allows Venezuelan-born murderer to enter US

Among the 10 US citizens repatriated from Venezuela this week during a three-party prisoner exchange in which El Salvadoran dictator Nayib Bukele’s regime sent back home all of the socialist South American country’s citizens being held at CECOT was Dahud Hanid Ortiz, a Venezuelan-born US military vet and citizen who’s also kind of a triple murderer, the New York Times reports.

See there was a little incident back in 2016 when Ortiz walked into a Madrid law office in 2016 and fatally shot three people, including a receptionist, a client, and a woman he mistook for his ex-wife’s divorce lawyer. Spanish cops called it a “targeted massacre.” Ortiz fled through Europe through Germany before resurfacing in Venezuela. Where it gets dicey is that Venezuela’s constitution proscribes the extradition of citizens but it also allows for extraterritorial crimes to be tried under its legal system. Which is why Ortiz was in a Venezuelan prison until this week when Secretary of State Marco Rubio brokered his release on behalf of a US regime that got into power in no small part by screaming about how Joe Biden was allowing convicted murderers walk across the border.

Ortiz made it here on what looks like a G6 jet owned by the US Department of State.

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Orcas fuck up yet another boat off Spanish coast

In the third such documented incident in the last two years, a pod of orcas on Monday went to work on a vessel off the coast of Bilbao in Spain, disabling a French sailboat and prompting a rescue mission by the country’s coast guard, Euro Weekly News reports and leading scientists to speculate that one badass killer whale is teaching others that it’s fun to fuck with human boats.

A member of the unidentified sailboat’s crew told France’s TF1 that the whales at first seemed harmless – until they trashed the boat’s rudder rending them dead in the water. “After five minutes of this situation, and seeing that they wanted to continue having fun with the boat and that they were going to break something else, we called the rescue team, ‘Mayday, mayday,’” the man said.

Portuguese marine biologist and University of Aveiro Professor Alfredo Lopez Fernandez says he and his colleagues now have a name for the ringleader of the anti-boat pod: White Gladys. Fernandez says she suffered a collision with a vessel in 2020 and has since been eyed as the one colliding back. “That traumatized orca is the one that started this behavior of physical contact with the boat,” the scientist continued, warning that Gladys’s bloodlust is spreading to other pods.

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Todd Blanche to meet with Ghislaine Maxwell on Thursday

Douchebag Deputy Attorney General Todd Blanche is on his way to Tallahassee, Florida to meet with Jeffrey Epstein’s ex-girlfriend and co-pimp Ghislaine Maxwell on Thursday, presumably to have her murdered before she can implicate Blanche’s boss, convicted felon President Trump, in the statutory rape of underage sex trafficking victims supplied to him by Epstein, ABC News reports.

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