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Surprise! Ketamine Brain’s heel turn was personal revenge

You will not be at all surprised to learn that Jesus Dork Speaker Mike Johnson’s apparent belief or soothing self-delusion or whatever that drug-addicted billionaire Elon Musk’s sudden betrayal of the MAGA GOP’s Big Beautiful Bill was “not personal” was incorrect and that it is actually personal, according to Axios’s Marc Caputo’s White House sources – who obviously came with him to “Be Smart” bullet point land when he got poached from the Bulwark a few months ago.

Convicted felon President Trump has yet to comment publicly on the drama and all Caputo has so far is that he’s “irked” by the turn – which Musk continued ranting against on Twitter on Tuesday, posting shit like “In November next year, we fire all politicians who betrayed the American people” by voting for the Big Beautiful Bill, lol – but a source summarized the reason with “Elon was butthurt.”

Musk’s grievances against the Trump Regime and the GOP, per Caputo’s sources, can be summarized as (1) The bill gutting the electric vehicle tax credit. (2) The 130-day limit for his “special government employee status” that led to his termination, whatever you want to call it. Nobody with even the most cursory understanding of the Trump style of “governing” believes for a fucking second that they give a shit about the law and that he couldn’t continue there in some official or unofficial capacity if Team Trump wanted him to stay. (3) The FAA wouldn’t buy a Starlink system for air traffic control because it would’ve been a conflict of interest and, per a source “You can’t have air traffic control just run off satellites.” Again, lol. Even if it didn’t work the Trump Regime still would’ve bought it if they wanted to. (4) Trump withdrew that Jared Isaacman chode’s nomination for NASA administrator which, as quite a few people believed, was a fuck you to Musk.

Apparently Musk is one of those people too, and he was not happy his dude got fired.

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Sabato’s Crystal Ball downgrades Joni Ernst’s seat

“Over this last weekend, for those of us who try to keep up with political news, it was hard to miss a headline from an Iowa town hall. When defending the Medicaid cuts that the popularly known ‘Big Beautiful Bill’ contained, Sen Joni Ernst (R-IA) scoffed, seemingly in frustration, ‘Well, we’re all going to die.’ Democrats, trying to make political hay out of the comment, replayed it frequently, and the quote quickly made its way into meme form. Shortly after the original town hall, Ernst posted a video to social media where she, citing her faith, sarcastically doubled down on her remark,” writes Larry Sabato’s Crystal Ball/University of Virginia Center for Politics, going on to explain that the change from “Safe” to “Likely” was also prompted by Dem state Rep JD Scholten’s entry into the race.

Scholten came within 3 percent of defeating utterly fucking demented white nationalist Steve King in 2018 before taking a beating to King’s replacement, the now-Congressman Randy Feenstra in 2020. Scholten still outperformed Joe Biden in the deep red 4th District. He could prove formidable.

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Youngkin schedules VA-11 special for September 9th

Republican Virginia Governor Glenn Youngkin on Tuesday announced the state’s 11th District special election to replace the late Congressman Gerry Connolly for September 9th, Fox News reports.

At 111 days after Connolly’s death on May 21st, it’s nearly a month longer than the 85 between the November 2022 death of other Dem Donald McEachin and the special to replace him, but then again Congress is out from July 25th through September 2nd, so the actual work days missed would probably end up being a wash – though it’d be nice to have another Dem ready to be sworn in before September. Either way, Youngkin once again isn’t pulling the same cunty move Ron DeSantis did back in 2021, delaying a special in a blue district by nine months, or what Low Energy Greg is doing now currently by delaying the special to replace Congressman Sylvester Turner until November.

In related news on the other seat Connolly’s death left empty, Congresswoman Jasmine Crockett on Tuesday announced she’s running for ranking member of the House Oversight Committee.

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“My friend Elon is terribly wrong”

Speaking to reporters after Ketamine Brain – who it need be reminded is not now and never was an elected official in the United States, holds no official position within the Republican Party, and just showed up at the White House to “work” for a few months at an unpaid fake job before leaving last week – pulled his support for the Mega MAGA bill, Jesus Dork Speaker Mike Johnson on Tuesday said “with all due respect, my friend Elon is terribly wrong about” the legislation, Politico reports.

Johnson claimed he’d had a 20 minute phone call after Musk’s tweet, explaining to him why the bill was awesome. “And he seemed to understand that,” Johnson added. “But for him to come out and pan the whole bill, to me, is just very disappointing – very surprising in light of the conversation I had with him yesterday… It’s not personal. I just deeply regret that he’s made this mistake,” lol.

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Navy considers renaming Harriet Tubman, RBG, Harvey Milk ships

The US Navy under the direction of Defense Secretary Petey Pee Pants, is considering denaming the vessels christened as the USNS Ruth Bader Ginsburg, USNS Harriet Tubman, USNS Harvey Milk, USNS Thurgood Marshall, USNS Dolores Huerta, USNS Lucy Stone, USNS Cesar Chavez, and USNS Medgar Evers, CBS News reports on the de-woke-ification of the US military.

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Drug addicted video gamer absentee father trashes GOP megabill

It gets better. “It will massively increase the already gigantic budget deficit to $2.5 trillion (!!!) and burden America citizens with crushingly unsustainable debt,” Leon also tweeted. No shit, lol.

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Virginia man outraged by corrupt sheriff’s pardon

A Culpeper County, Virginia man tells NPR that convicted felon President Trump’s pardon of corrupt asshole former Sheriff Scott Jenkins for selling deputy badges to any unqualified schmuck is an outrage. “It’s a failure of our justice system. He was guilty as could be. He needed to go to jail, and he didn’t. So what kind of a signal does that send?” said Ken Green, adding, “It’s a slap in the face, just like pardoning all of the January 6 people. I mean, some of them needed to go to jail.”

You already know the next question NPR asked, and Green’s answer. “It’s kind of a two-edged sword. I mean, you either support him, or you support the other side. And I can’t support the other side right now. So, I mean, it’s the lesser of two – it’s the evil you know,” said All-American cunt.

You also already guessed that the audio was recorded in a diner. There may or may not have been a two-second sound clip of a sizzling griddle and forks clanking in between the voice recordings.

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WATCH LIVE: Karoline Kackles Kacaphonously

Joining late so missed the bit where Karoline claimed that the days of putting criminals over their victims is over, which is kind of a lie because pardonees like Todd Chrisley, Paul Walzcak, and that “Nikola” douchebag no longer owe their victims any restitution for their crimes. And the one where she accused the Washington Post of manipulating the minds of Americans with some headline.

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Chinese scientist couple charged with fungal fuckery

“Yunqing Jian, 33, and Zunyong Liu, 34, citizens of the People’s Republic of China, were charged in a criminal complaint with conspiracy, smuggling goods into the United States, false statements, and visa fraud, announced United States Attorney Jerome F Gorgon, Jr. The FBI arrested Jian in connection with allegations related to Jian’s and Liu’s smuggling into America a fungus called Fusarium graminearum, which scientific literature classifies as a potential agroterrorism weapon.”

“This noxious fungus causes ‘head blight,’ a disease of wheat, barley, maize, and rice, and is responsible for billions in economic losses worldwide each year. Fusarium graminearum’s toxins cause vomiting, liver damage, and reproductive defects in humans and livestock. According to the complaint, Jian received Chinese government funding for her work on this pathogen in China.”

“The complaint also alleges that Jian’s electronics contain information describing her membership in and loyalty to the Chinese Communist Party. It is further alleged that Jian’s boyfriend, Liu, works at a Chinese university where he conducts research on the same pathogen and that he first lied but then admitted to smuggling Fusarium graminearum into America – through the Detroit Metropolitan Airport – so that he could conduct research on it at the laboratory at the University of Michigan where his girlfriend, Jian, worked,” says a Tuesday Justice Department press release.

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Lee Jae-Myung elected president of South Korea

Six months to the day after pilled right wing nutcase now-former South Korean President Yoon Suk Yeol set in motion his political demise by declaring fucking martial law, his defeated 2022 opponent, Democrat Lee Jae-Myung’s got his revenge, beating conservative Kim Moon-Soo, who officially conceded in the country’s heated special election early Wednesday local time, AFP reports.

“I will humbly accept the choice of the people. Congratulations to the elected candidate Lee Jae-Myung,” said Kim, probably no relation to the Korean peninsula’s other national leader.

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Fox News does what they can to make sure Dems run out of tacos

And if you live anywhere near the Republican National Committee’s DC headquarters you have 61 minutes to get down there and collect your free taco from the truck the Dems rented, per Axios.

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Stephen Miller REALLY lost his shit at ICE officials at meeting

Last month’s Axios story about Trump Reichsminister of Racial Purity Stephen Miller screaming at an all hands meeting of ICE officials was good, but it lacked any really specific detail from inside the room. Luckily right wing outlet the Washington Examiner have now stepped up to fill those gaps.

Very thoroughly, to the point where one might wonder if the Examiner’s agenda fully lines up with that of the Trump Regime. “They’ve been threatened, told they’re watching their emails and texts and Signals. That’s what is horrible about things right now. It’s a fearful environment. Everybody in leadership is afraid… There’s no morale. Everybody is demoralized,” said one source. Again this at ICE, not the freaking CDC or you name whatever other “woke” agency currently getting gutted, where the frontline America First stormtroopers fear they’re being spied on by the White House.

The first sign of trouble came when top 50 field officials summoned to the “emergency” meeting with just about a week’s notice of the May 20th meeting: 25 Enforcement Removal Operations, or ERO, field office directors and 25 Homeland Security Investigations, or HSI. Not at all a coincidence that the ERO chief was forced to retire and the HSI leader was demoted on or before the 28th.

It’s not clear if the firing/demotions were announced in front of everyone in the room as well as whether Miller was stressed out over his wife Katie suddenly talking about how she heard ketamine is a really relaxing high and left her laptop browser open to a page listing Afrikaans sex slang. Either way he was definitely stressed. “Miller came in there and eviscerated everyone. ‘You guys aren’t doing a good job. You’re horrible leaders.’ He just ripped into everybody. He had nothing positive to say about anybody, shot morale down,” said an official relaying secondhand recall of the scene.

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Dutch governing coalition collapses

The Netherlands’ right wing governing coalition collapsed Tuesday as Reich party leader Geert Wilders said “fuck this” to the marginally more moderate parties and withdrew, the BBC reports.

Wilders’ issue? Surprise! Immigration. The pasty white scumbag had demanded a long list of asylum measures, including a freeze on asylum applications, halting the construction of reception centers, and limiting family reunification. Getting none of that he fucked everyone else over. Prime Minister Dick Schoof tendered his resignation and snap elections will be held within the next few months.

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Newark mayor sues parking lot prosecutor

Newark, New Jersey Mayor Ras Baraka on Tuesday filed a federal civil complaint against dumbass Acting US Attorney Alina Habba “seeking damages and to remedy Defendants’ subjecting him to false arrest and malicious prosecution in violation of his Constitutional rights under the Fourth Amendment. Plaintiff also brings an action for defamation against Defendant Habba,” over his arrest at a confrontation last month at an ICE gulag and charges that Habba ended up dropping.

Freshman Dem Congresswoman LaMonica McIver still faces bullshit assault and other charges over the same incident. It’s not clear yet how likely she’ll be able to get them dropped before trial.

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The first step to 4+ percent economic growth is a positive attitude

Kansas MAGA Senator Roger Marshall was upbeat and optimistic Tuesday morning, telling Fox News’s Maria Bartiromo that people just feeling better about the economy back home in his state would add 1 percent to the GDP alone so it’ll be easy to get to 4 percent annual growth. Those glum bastards at the OECD saying their 2025-2026 outlook “projects global growth slowing from 3.3 percent in 2024 to 2.9 percent in both 2025 and 2026. The slowdown is expected to be most concentrated in the United States, Canada, Mexico and China, with smaller downward adjustments in other economies,” can’t just chin up and turn their forecast models’ frowns upside down.

Marshall also told Bartiromo that cutting Medicaid is going to make Medicaid stronger, which might be missing some context since they’re not *actually* cutting Medicaid, or maybe it isn’t.

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The Hill issues DHS statement saying FEMA director was just joking

“The acting head of the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) was joking when he said he was not aware the US had an official hurricane season, the Department of Homeland Security (DHS), which houses FEMA, said in a statement,” says the lede to a Tuesday article at The Hill.

“The acting head of the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) was joking when he said he was not aware the US had an official hurricane season, according to a statement from the Department of Homeland Security (DHS), which houses FEMA,” says the second paragraph of the article. Not making that up, lol. Here’s a screenshot of a very likely prime example of AI slop.

“Their response comes after Reuters reported that Richardson, who has been in the position since early May, baffled employees with the sentiment at a recent briefing. The outlet said it was unclear to staff members whether the remark was meant to be taken ‘literally, as a joke, or in some other context,'” says the next paragraph, the AI engine or maybe Bangladeshi content farm laborer forgetting to include Acting FEMA Director David Richardson’s first name in the article-ish piece meant to be DHS’s response to staffers questioning his competence after the replacement for his too pro-FEMA predecessor made it clear to them he didn’t know hurricane season was a thing.

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Taco Man regularly rages at justice picks, but mostly Barrett: CNN

Egged on by MAGA influencers on the internet and MAGA influencers in Congress who are on the internet all the time, convicted felon President Trump has been raging in private for months at decisions by his three Supreme Court nominees, but mostly at the last one, Amy Coney Barrett, and especially over her siding against him over his freezing of $2 billion in foreign aid and recusing herself from the Oklahoma religious charter school case that ended in a 4-4 deadlock loss for the GOP, CNN reports from sources quoting the fat fuck as repeatedly calling her “weak.”

Some of Trump’s minions expressed to CNN concerns that the constant death threats, the false report of a bomb at Barrett’s sister’s house, and shit like some MAGA podcaster calling her a “rattled law professor with her head up her ass” and another saying she’s a “DEI hire” might have factored into the adverse rulings, lol. It got to the point where Trump started asking people if he should order more security for the justice, CNN writes. They do not write that he actually ordered more security.

He’s also holding back on criticizing Barrett publicly, per his allies. Those allies did not say if he plans to demand his supporters tone it down and stop threatening to murder her and her family every time she doesn’t just rule the same as Clarence and Sam. Probably because he’d never actually say that.

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Crimean punishment

“And today, at 4:44 am, without any civilian casualties, the first explosive device was detonated! The underwater pillars of the bridge supports were severely damaged at the seabed level – thanks to 1,100 kg of explosives in TNT equivalent. As a result, the bridge is now in critical condition,” the tweet continues after the cutoff. CNN’s reporting on the attack says that the only acknowledgement from the Russian side was them announcing that traffic on the bridge was been suspended, but by 9 AM local time they claimed it had resumed. No further context on that was added, unfortunately.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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