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The first step to more drug abuse is denying you have a problem

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At least two dead in Euro champions league final celebration

At least two people are dead in separate incidents after France celebrated football club Paris St Germain’s 5-to-0 absolute beatdown of Inter Milan in the Champions League tournament final on Saturday, Sky News reports. One was murder, as a 17 year-old boy was stabbed to death during a street party in the city of Dax, the other a man who was hit by a car while riding a scooter during PSG celebrations in Paris. The French Interior Ministry in total linked 559 arrests, 192 injuries, 692 fires, including 264 involving vehicles, to the big win by the nation’s most popular pro football club.

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Not Movie Night Saturday: James Cameron on the Titan implosion

The the 2023 implosion of the Titan submersible is in the news again as the BBC/Discovery Channel documentary Implosion: The Titanic Sub Disaster premiered this week and on June 11th Netflix will debut Titan: The OceanGate Disaster. But maybe even more illuminating than either is kind of talented director James Cameron’s interview with 60 Minutes Australia from last year on the matter.

The entire storyline itself is as much about ego and hubris as it is the vagaries of undersea exploration technology and goddamn is Cameron’s ego big in this piece. What’s fascinating about it though is that it’s an ego that recognizes that it is not always that of the smartest guy in the room, fully aware and fully acknowledging of its limitations in contrast to a world being driven by egos like Stockton Rush – and of course the World Tag Team Champions of not even fucking remotely as smart or capable as they think they are. The non-humility humility of Cameron truly shines here, the whole “I only know like 85 percent of what I’m talking about when it comes to the extremely complex and dangerous world of pelagic exploration but I listened to very carefully to the guys who know the other 15 percent and that’s why I’m still alive while Stockton Rush isn’t” bit is so sufferable.

Fucking prick, lol.

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Orange Overlord fucks over Musk acolyte

“After a thorough review of prior associations, I am hereby withdrawing the nomination of Jared Isaacman to head NASA. I will soon announce a new Nominee who will be Mission aligned, and put America First in Space. Thank you for your attention to this matter!” posted TACO man on Saturday.

Amazingly, it seems Laura Loomer was supportive of Isaacman, as she tweeted “Isaacman is very qualified to be the next NASA Administrator. It’s unclear why his nomination is being pulled,” earlier in the day, so yeah, the second sentence is kind of true. Who knows what the hell happened. It must’ve been someone else’s internal power play against Ketamine Brain, as Musk had backed Isaacman – a payment processing CEO and a SpaceX investor/mission pilot – for the post.

The fat bastard then reposted some cultist’s conspiracy theory about President Joe Biden being a clone or a cyborg or something, which said “There is no #JoeBiden – executed in 2020. #Biden clones doubles & robotic engineered soulless mindless entities are what you see. >#Democrats dont know the difference,” and yeah that’s a little extra, even for the insane shit Trump propagates.

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OAN Pentagon reporter fired for criticizing Hegseth

Following a rant on her personal Substack complaining about how Defense Secretary Petey Pee Pants’ new regime was limiting access to the building unseen in even the first Trump Administration, OAN Pentagon reporter Gabrielle Cuccia was fired for daring to question the wisdom of the rapey white nationalist alcoholic, CNN reports. “I was asked to turn in my Pentagon badge to my bureau chief,” Cuccia told the network on Friday, just three days after she wrote “This article isn’t to serve as a tearing down” of Hegseth, Cuccia wrote on Tuesday. “This is me wanting to keep MAGA alive.”

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Tulsi considering Fox News-like video for Trump’s daily briefing

Sources inside the intel community tell NBC News that Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard is looking into, per NBC, improve convicted felon President Trump’s “trust” in the material contained in the presidential daily briefing and has been asking her staff to spitball new ideas on how to “make it more aligned with how he likes to consume information.” One possibility considered was, copying this verbatim because NBC actually printed it, “creating a video version of the PDB that’s made to look and feel like a Fox News broadcast,” a statement on the level of mental incapacity by the commander-in-chief that is one of the most lib-owning things ever.

Holy freaking hell, what a demented shitbag. Even more ridiculous about this reporting is how it makes a genocide-curious absolute fucking scumbag like Gabbard look like a paraprofessional devising strategies for handling a particularly difficult student at a school for special needs children.

Seriously, read this shit: “Under that concept as it has been discussed, the national intelligence director’s office could hire a Fox News producer to produce it and one of the network’s personalities to present it; Trump, an avid Fox News viewer, could then watch the broadcast PDB whenever he wanted. A new PDB could include not only graphics and pictures but also maps with animated representations of exploding bombs, similar to a video game, another one of the people with knowledge of the discussions said.” So they’re going to have to give Bret Baier and his producer a security clearance and they’ll be privy to the most sensitive national security secrets, lol.

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“Was it all bullshit?”

Speaking with his minions this week about the end of drug addict Elon Musk’s reign of terror over federal government departments, convicted felon President Trump privately asked “Was it all bullshit?” on whether the Tesla founder ever could have actually come close to his $2 trillion goal in eliminating “waste, fraud, and abuse,” the Wall Street Journal reports, citing White House sources.

The story’s a pretty funny valedictory on the 130-day misadventure, including a bit on Musk’s “battle for Western civilization” in the Wisconsin state Supreme Court race, mentioning how Team Orange was fucking pissed over him making the election a referendum on Donald and Elon. The Journal writes that “Musk was dismissive of those concerns, saying the polling he commissioned showed Schimel had a chance. Trump became annoyed after doing a town hall with Schimel, telling advisers that he was done with him because Schimel couldn’t answer questions cogently about abortion, according to people familiar with the matter. Schimel lost overwhelmingly,” lol.

The top comment’s pretty goddamned funny too. Very rarely does the Journal fit into the time-honored National Zero “MAGA Land” comment format here since the posters tend to be libs and Never Trumpers, but this one definitely could’ve been a “MAGA Land”: “Just… no. I estimate that he chances that three WSJ reporters have any inside information on either Elon Musk or Donald Trump are about 0.00 percent. The chances that these WSJ reporters would give an unbiased, informative take are also, in my estimation, 0.00 percent.” That is a LOT of butthurt from an unhappy subscriber.

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HVAC company backs out of contract with Villages over tariffs

Citing concerns about tariffs and the economy, M&S Air Conditioning of Leesburg, Florida has backed out of its service contract with the Lake Sumter Landing section of The Villages, leaving a fairly large number of government buildings in the very MAGA golf cart maze of retirement community without a provider for air conditioning repair and maintenance, Villages-News reports.

Last month M&S submitted “a written notice of their intent to unilaterally terminate all active agreements across the Districts, citing economic conditions and increased tariffs,” according to a memo from the District’s purchasing department. Staffers cried foul saying the agreements do not include a provision allowing for “unilateral termination” by the contractor for such Trump-induced causes, issuing a formal demand for resumption of services, which M&S promptly ignored.

The Villages overlords then recommended finding a new contractor that isn’t woke and Marxist.

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Charlie Kirk completely okay with Glenn Greenwald sex tape

“The leaking of his private videos is clearly politically motivated, criminal, and disgusting. The slurs against him are equally disgusting. If those who did this think they will advance their cause by trying to embarrass Glenn – if that ends up being true – they are dead wrong. The exact opposite is sadly true,” Kirk continued going on about the footage which, according to several MAGA trolls, shows Greenwald in lingerie having relations with a male prostitute he had paid $2,000 to rent for a night.

It’s not clear if Kirk actually viewed the video to make sure Greenwald’s character remains as sterling as Kirk says it is here. Kirk has not replied to a request for comment on that specific matter.

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Former WWE CEO visits high school to support “Chiefs” mascot

“Today, US Secretary of Education visited Massapequa High School, home of the Massapequa Chiefs, to announce that the US Department of Education’s Office for Civil Rights has concluded its investigation into the New York Department of Education and the New York State Board of Regents (the Board). OCR determined that the Board has violated Title VI of the Civil Rights Act by banning the use of Native American mascots and logos by school districts in the state of New York,” says an Education Department press release on the productive use of federal taxpayer time.

“In its investigation, OCR found that the Board of Regents implemented a statewide prohibition on names, mascots, or logos based on Native American race and national origin, but allowed names, mascots, and logos that appear to have been derived from other racial or ethnic groups, such as the ‘Dutchmen’ and the ‘Huguenots.’ Accordingly, OCR determined that the Board’s policy was discriminatory, and therefore violating Title VI. ‘The Trump Administration will not stand idly by as state leaders attempt to eliminate the history and culture of Native American tribes,’ said US Secretary of Education Linda McMahon. ‘Rather than focus on learning outcomes, the New York Department of Education and Board of Regents has set its sights on erasing Massapequa’s history while turning a blind eye to other districts’ mascots that are derived from or connected to other racial or ethnic groups. We will stand with the people of Massapequa until commonsense is restored and justice is served, and until New York comes into compliance with federal law.'”

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Orange Messiah predicts 5.4 to 9 percent GDP growth

“The Democrat inspired and ‘controlled’ Congressional Budget Office (CBO) purposefully gave us an EXTREMELY LOW level of Growth, 1.8 percent over 10 years. How ridiculous and unpatriotic is that!”

“They did the same thing to us in 2017, and we DOUBLED their numbers. The information they recently released is even more absurd and indefensible. I predict we will do 3, 4, or even 5 times the amount they purposefully ‘allotted’ to us (1.8) and, with just our minimum expected 3 percent Growth, we will more than offset our Tax Cuts (which will, in actuality, cost us no money!)” posted TACO tits on Friday. Well you heard it from him: 5.4 percent to 9 percent growth starting next year, no matter what the ridiculous, unpatriotic, “Democrat-controlled” Congressional Budget Office says.

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Menendez goes MAGA for reasons quite obvious

“People talk about the Trump DOJ, but it was the Democrats who started weaponizing the Justice Dept. When, as the Chairman of the SFRC, I didn’t go along with Obama’s Iran deal, I was indicted, and the next day after being stripped of my position, Obama announced the Iran deal. Obama told me that he could not have the Democratic Chairman of the SFRC be against him. By having me removed as the Chair of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, Obama removed my major opposition to his Iran deal. It was a bad deal for the US and for our ally, Israel,” writes soon-to-be-incarcerated former New Jersey Senator “Gold Bars Bob” Menendez in a Friday tweet thread.

Continued the disgraced politician who literally googled “how much is one kilo of gold worth” after bringing a few home from a 2021 trip to Qatar: “This was the ultimate weaponization of the Justice Dept for a political purpose. 10 of 12 jurors didn’t believe ANY of the government’s case, and the Federal Judge overseeing the case, dismissed the most serious counts, saying, ‘there was no there, there!’ But the damage was done! So when Democrats talk about weaponizing the Justice Dept, they should look into their own past actions. Obama was willing to use the Justice Department to pursue and preserve the legacy issue he felt would earn him the Nobel Prize he had received.”

Before you say “Holy shit dude, just tweet ‘Please pardon me, @realDonaldTrump!’ already,” you have to realize that this whole pro-Israel, anti-Iran nuclear deal, use of key words like “weaponizing,” and – in a particularly shrewd move, mentioning Obama’s Nobel Peace prize – is all just groundwork-laying. The next tweet will probably have to be an expression of remorse for voting to convict Trump twice in his impeachment trials, say he was coerced or something. THEN comes the big ask.

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Homoerotic self-deprecation slipped into post-pardon presser

Said MAGA reality show star Savannah Chrisley at a Friday press conference celebrating her parents’ liberation from federal prison – and apparently a shit ton of money they had to pay in restitution to the victims of their scams, money that the victims may actually have to pay back: “The biggest misconception right now is I either paid for a pardon or slept for a pardon-” to which her father interrupted with “That’s something I would’ve done,” because haha, he sounds like a stereotypical gay man and he’s making a joke about gay sex! What a hilarious zinger! Chrisley’s so back!

But back to what Savannah was saying: Whooooooo was propagating this “misconception”? Not about the payoff because no shit Trump accepts bribes for pardons, but the “slept for a pardon” part. You know because now that you mention it you do sort of bear a resemblance to Ivanka Trump.

Not that close of one, but close enough. So yeah, go ahead and Streisand Effect that angle for us.

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Brazilian lawmaker seeks to ban fake Brazilians from healthcare

A few paragraphs down into a disquieting story about these really freaking unnerving life-like baby dolls catching on in Brazil, the AP reports that Amazonas State legislator Joao Luiz, on Tuesday brought one of the dolls to the State House in Manaus and announced a bill banning the dolls from receiving care in the state’s public health system despite no local officials reporting such cases.

Luiz may’ve been responding to a video of a woman walking into a medical facility with one of the dolls but it’s not clear what the circumstances were. It’s obvious enough he wants to find some means of banning them and it’s hard to disagree with his impulse: These things are really fucking creepy – don’t even want to find a pic of them but you can see it in the AP’s story – and it’s creepy that adults would be buying them for themselves. Maybe he should try an anti-pedophilia approach, just make up some shit about child molesters buying the dolls. Might be worth a shot.

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Containment efforts fail, Britain now at mercy of parakeet plague

The British Trust for Ornithology have handed ITV the data that confirm what many had already suspected: Containment efforts have failed amid an “astronomical rise” and the plague of invasive parakeets is now “unstoppable.” Bird enthusiast Viola Ross-Smith of the Trust says “It’s basically going up and up and up… Since 1995 we’ve seen an increase of more than 2000 percent.”

The small, amiable green birds now number in the tens of thousands across Great Britain and may threaten Ireland as well. “We could be looking at exclosures for instance. We could also be looking at mist netting,” Wild Belfast chairman Conor McKinney said of his organization’s ideas on how to stop the spread. “These are nets that are put up, they are practically invisible to birds and then we could collect them by hand. The opportunity is here, the time is ripe, we need to do something about these birds before it gets out of control,” McKinney continued, quaking for man’s dominion.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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