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Bolsonaro minion caught trying to flee to El Salvador

The former director of Brazil’s Federal Highway Police and one of convicted felon former President Jair Bolsonaro’s top coup attempt co-conspirators Silvinei Vasques was extradited back to his home country on Friday night after his arrest in neighboring Paraguay as he tried to board a flight bound for El Salvador, the Associated Press reports on another L for the far right fascist squad.

Vasques – sentenced to 24 years house arrest for ordering his cops to prevent voters in left-leaning areas from making it to the polls on election day 2022 – had removed his ankle monitor, obtained false Paraguayan documents, rented a car, drove south, and was caught at the gate as he attempted to board the flight. It’s not clear if Vasques had any contact with El Salvadoran dictator Nayyib Bukele’s regime prior to the escape bid or had just assumed – maybe correctly – that they would take him in if he simply showed up. In any event, Supreme Court Justice Alexandre De Moraes responded to Vasques’s attempt by ordering the 10 other co-conspirators who had enjoyed a looser form of house arrest to be placed on 24/7 lockdown in their homes for the rest of their sentences.

“There is no greater injustice than condemning a person for the actions of another,” tweeted Jeffrey Chiquini, attorney for former Bolsonaro advisor Filipe Martins, vowing to appeal De Moraes’s order.

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FBI agents told to ignore K$H if he shows up at major crime scene

In a story outlining how convicted felon President Trump’s regime is filled with obnoxious and ubiquitous “main characters,” Axios reports that FBI Director Kash Patel is being particularly derided by his own agents to the point where none of them want anything to do with him in public.

“A source familiar with the planning for one recent FBI operation said it included an unusual topic: what to do if the boss shows up. Patel’s office always sought advance notice for any newsworthy arrests, and agents wondered if he might appear at the scene. They were advised to keep their heads down and not engage, according to the source. In the end, he didn’t turn up,” Axios writes, copied verbatim here as to not mince words over how fuckin embarrassing this is for K$H and America writ large. Middle management seriously told rank and file to ignore their director in public.

It’s the little details like that which truly capture the suckery of the MAGA Reich on their own terms and – this may or may not seem overly shoehorn-y but fuck it – a Friday NYT op-ed by Michelle Goldberg contained a quote from resistance group Protect Democracy director Ian Bassin that really nicely nailed down the failure of Project 2025. Bassin says the next three years are “going to be a rocky period, but I no longer think that Trump is going to pull an Orban and fundamentally consolidate authoritarian control of this country the way that it looked like he was going to do in March or April.” The piece was more about the general, overall headwinds facing Trump’s dictatorial ambitions but the incompetence and utter unfitness of his top minions certainly has not helped.

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Florida man may have been so drunk and high he thought he was invisible, possibly explaining the nudity during his burglary spree

A Miami-area man, who Local10.com reports is facing two felony charges after having broken into two luxury homes worth $37 million and $12 million while completely naked, may have been drunk and stoned enough to believe that he was invisible and thus needed to shed his clothing so that potential witnesses would not have been alerted to his presence by a spectral floating shirt, pants, and shoes moving into and throughout the adjacent homes on Ocean Boulevard in Golden Beach.

Granted, this is pure speculation on National Zero’s part as there is no arrest affidavit mentioning specifically what if any reason for stripping nude that 26 year-old Vladimir Demidovich disclosed to cops following his apprehension in the garage of one of the homes. It’s just that he’s a registered Republican, broke into homes less than 600 ft away from the small enclave’s police headquarters, and was apparently intoxicated from alcohol as the police said he “consumed beverages” in both houses, although there’s no mention of his being under the influence of any narcotic substances.

So it’s really a highly plausible theory rather than a factual description of Demidovich’s express modus operandi part during his Thursday night burglary mini-spree. He also could’ve just been so fucked up that he simply did not remember why he took his clothes off. But again that’s speculation.

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Movie Night Friday: Midway

This one kind of flew under the radar, pun not applicable because the radar wasn’t the problem for the Japanese in June 1942. It was that their naval code was compromised and, well that would spoil the ending that you can read on Wikipedia anyway. Midway‘s still a solid movie.

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Jeff’s friend commands DOJ to “embarrass” Dems

“Now 1,000,000 more pages on Epstein are found. DOJ is being forced to spend all of its time on this Democrat inspired Hoax. When do they say NO MORE, and work on Election Fraud etc.”

“The Dems are the ones who worked with Epstein, not the Republicans. Release all of their names, embarrass them, and get back to helping our Country! The Radical Left doesn’t want people talking about TRUMP and REPUBLICAN SUCCESS, only a long ago dead Jeffrey Epstein – Just another Witch Hunt!!!” posted a plainly frustrated convicted felon President Trump on Friday.

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Two Brits missing after swimming in rough seas on Christmas Day

British officials on Thursday called off the search for two men who had gone missing while jumping into the English Channel on Christmas Day as part of an annual tradition, Sky News reports.

“After extensive shoreline and offshore searches, the HM Coastguard part of the search was stood down at 5pm,” said a Coastguard spokesman, nearly 7 hours after they were called to the scene at 10:25 AM when dozens of locals braved the rough waves near the town of Budleigh Salterton in Devon. It’s not clear why the hell these men actually “swam” when video shows the others simply jumping into the extremely turbulent water and then back out, which was insane enough itself.

Cops urged Brits to avoid swimming on Boxing Day given the “punishing” conditions.

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This is what Laken Riley would’ve wanted

Homeland Security is claiming that more than 17,500 undocumented immigrants with criminal records were captured in the first year of the Laken Riley Act, John Solomon’s shitty site reports, whilst happily carrying the state propaganda. “In honor of Laken Riley, ICE launched Operation Angel’s Honor – in the last 2 weeks alone arresting more than 1,000 criminal illegal aliens under the authority of the Laken Riley Act,” dog-murdering Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem said in a statement, adding “President Trump has empowered us to arrest and remove the millions of violent criminal illegal aliens unleashed on the United States by the previous administration.”

“Now, these criminals will face justice and be removed from our country. We can never bring Laken back, but we can do everything in our power to bring these heinous criminals to justice. I am so proud of what our brave men and women of ICE have done to remove these criminals from America’s streets,” Noem continued. Unmentioned in this are any specifics, even the names of the actual supposedly violent offenders, let alone people like 22 year-old Marylander Dulce Consuelo Diaz Morales, now sitting in a Texas ICE gulag while her five year-old boy cries for his mother.

Oh and Diaz Morales was born in Maryland, her lawyer Victoria Slatton showed WBAL her birth certificate and immunization records. “I think this case is concerning to me, because the evidence is overwhelming. Even if there is a discrepancy that we need to adjudicate in court, there is no reason for her to be in detention right now. I thought that it would be cleared up in a matter of hours. I actually used to be a DHS employee. I have a lot of respect for the agency, generally, and I expected them to respond appropriately,” Slatton said following her client’s December 14th arrest.

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Dominion sues Trump

BREAKING: DOMINION will finally have their REVENGE against convicted felon President Trump after all the abuse and massive dents to their bottom line caused by his hateful outrages!

Oh wait it’s the other Dominion. WAVY reports Dominion Energy, who on Wednesday announced they’re suing the fat fuck’s administration for canceling those wind farm leases. “Yesterday we filed a complaint and a motion in the US District Court for the Eastern District of Virginia for a temporary restraining order to stay the US Department of Interior’s suspension of work on the Coastal Virginia Offshore Wind (CVOW) project. If granted by the court, this will allow the project to resume work. At the same time, we will work to seek resolution through cooperation with the agencies and the White House, with a focus on achieving a durable solution,” the company said in a statement.

“CVOW is essential to meeting our customers’ needs. Delaying the project will lead to increased costs and threaten long-term grid reliability. Given the project’s critical importance, we have a responsibility to pursue every available avenue to deliver the project as quickly and at the lowest cost possible on behalf of our customers and the stability of the overall grid,” Dominion added.

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Orange God Emperor bombs Nigeria

“Tonight, at my direction as Commander in Chief, the United States launched a powerful and deadly strike against ISIS Terrorist Scum in Northwest Nigeria, who have been targeting and viciously killing, primarily, innocent Christians, at levels not seen for many years, and even Centuries!”

“I have previously warned these Terrorists that if they did not stop the slaughtering of Christians, there would be hell to pay, and tonight, there was. The Department of War executed numerous perfect strikes, as only the United States is capable of doing. Under my leadership, our Country will not allow Radical Islamic Terrorism to prosper. May God Bless our Military, and MERRY CHRISTMAS to all, including the dead Terrorists, of which there will be many more if their slaughter of Christians continues,” posted convicted felon President Trump on Thursday.

The fat bastard later wished Jeffrey Epstein’s other friends a Merry Christmas.

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Florida AG sides with Scientology vs pro-Xenu Clearwater city hall

Clearwater, Florida’s City Attorney David Margolis earlier this month submitted his letter of resignation – effective April 13, but de facto mid-February to cash out accrued vacation time – amid what the Tampa Bay Times reports is an increasingly acrimonious fight between municipal officials and the Church of Scientology, the demented sci-fi cult who control virtually every property surrounding its global headquarters in the city’s downtown. It all stems from a really freaking small issue – ownership of a block of a street that stands in the way of a planned event space – which has drawn state Attorney General James Uthmeier in on Scientology’s side against city hall.

Who have yet to be accused by the “church” of being controlled by the immortal galactic overlord Xenu but it still makes for a funny headline so why the hell not, especially when Uthmeier’s needling Mayor Bruce Rector over them potentially discriminating against a “religion.” What makes this even more freaking ridiculous is that it’s not even like the city’s refusing to give up the portion of South Garden Avenue the Scientologists want to build over, they just want the freaks to pay for it.

Referring to the May letter Uthmeier had sent city hall, Margolis last month told a council meeting that “the attorney general has always had the right upon the request of any elected official to give those opinions, it’s just that, candidly, before our current attorney general, it never happened.”

Meaning not even Pam Bondi or Ashley Moody would get into this kind of stupid shit.

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“We would lose pretty badly if Lindell were to get the nomination”

Minnesota Republican strategist Dustin Grage tells Politico that convicted felon President Trump backing mustachioed pillow pitchman Mike Lindell for the gubernatorial nomination is basically just throwing away their chance to unseat Tim Walz. “We’d be cooked. I’d be moving to Florida very shortly. We would lose pretty badly if Mike Lindell were to get the nomination,” said Grage.

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ChiComs worried their bots might not be robotic enough

Chinese communist dictator Xi Jingping and his minions are starting to have second thoughts about getting into this whole “AI race” thing and are starting to realize that losing to the United States might actually be preferable to building a machine mind capable of the kind of independent thinking discouraged by the party’s culture as a potential threat to their rule, the Wall Street Journal reports.

“Although China’s government sees AI as crucial to the country’s economic and military future, regulations and recent purges of online content show it also fears AI could destabilize society. Chatbots pose a particular problem: Their ability to think for themselves could generate responses that spur people to question party rule,” the Journal writes and L-O-fucking-L, stupid commies.

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Loomer feeling better again

Laura Loomer was back to her usual self on Wednesday after having something of a little hallucinatory fugue state crisis over the state of the Republican Party on Tuesday morning.

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Rejoice! ‘Tis a Christmas miracle for the entire payday loan industry!

Such a wondrous Christmas miracle has come for the payday loan industry! It’s as though executives have opened the window and shouted to a rumpled pauper boy passing by what the commotion is and heard back “Why sirs, the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau have issued an advisory opinion that lenders are no longer required to provide borrowers with certain disclosures, such ⁠as costs and ‌terms, reversing previous guidance under crotchety old man Biden’s Administration!”

“The newsboys from Reuters ‘ave shouted it to all who hear! ‘Tis truly wondrous!” the lad added and with that the payday loan industry executives burst from their doors and spun with joy into the streets, cavorting and skipping amongst the carolers and vagabonds sharing the warmth of the celebration. A merrier Christmas for those good fellows, than Biden and Obama have given them, for many a year! The government shall raise their profits, and endeavor to assist their “assistance” for struggling families! God bless the payday loan industry, God bless all who lend and collect debts!

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Regime seeking volunteers to redact Epstein files during Christmas

In an internal DOJ email obtained by CNN, convicted felon President Trump’s regime on Tuesday sent out an “emergency request from the [Deputy Attorney General’s] office the SDFL must assist with… We need AUSAs to do remote document review and redactions related to the Epstein files.”

“We have an obligation to the public to release these documents and before we can do so, certain redactions must be made to protect the identity of the victims, among other things.”

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The Road is Open Again: Gradually Fading into Suddenly

The MAGA kids are not alright. An ugly cancer is rapidly metastasizing on them, one necessitating another long nightmare scroll into the dark heart of the malignancy, beginning with a precursor:

Last month Somerville, Massachusetts man Brian Sokol penned what is now his second op-ed for the Jewish Telegraphic Agency headlined “NYC voters elected a BDS mayor. Voters in my city went much farther,” a piece which at no point spells out what “BDS” actually means. It’s “boycott, divest, sanction” as in inflict economic pain on the State of Israel for the Netanyahu Regime’s genocidal brutality toward the Palestinian people and the unspeakable horrors inflicted on children and families in occupied territories. As for the “much farther” it’s Somerville having said yes, with a 55 percent majority, to a ballot measure asking “Shall the Mayor of Somerville and all Somerville elected leaders be instructed to end all current city business and prohibit future city investments and contracts with companies as long as such companies engage in business that sustains Israel’s apartheid, genocide and illegal occupation of Palestine?” on the same day that a smaller and bare majority of New York City voters – a third of Gotham’s Jewish electorate among them – had elected Zohran Mamdani.

Though literally non-binding, “Question 3” will, according to Sokol, in practice cost the city’s school district “more money and negatively affect local students and teachers” if they don’t buy HP laptops for kids because of the boycott of companies that do business with the Netanyahu Regime. Same thing if the city’s DOT doesn’t buy Caterpillar equipment. Sokol finds space in his lament for some soothing, writing that “less engaged voters were more likely to see it as a simple vote for or against genocide, which the text proclaims as if this were a non-controversial, established fact” and that the result “should be understood as a split decision. The ballot passed, but not by a landslide.”

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Supreme Court rules Trump regime’s Illinois deployment unlawful

The US Supreme Court on Tuesday ruled that, in deploying the National Guard to Chicago, convicted felon President Trump’s regime has “failed to identify a source of authority that would allow the military to execute the laws in Illinois. The President has not invoked a statute that provides an exception to the Posse Comitatus Act. Instead, he relies on inherent constitutional authority that, according to the Government, allows him to use the military to protect federal personnel and property. But the Government also claims – consistent with the longstanding view of the Executive Branch – that performing such protective functions does not constitute,” and blah blah blah.

Mind you this is them declining to issue a stay of a circuit court’s order enjoining the deployment but the order’s 25 pages long and goes on at length, sooooooo… Yeah it’s a big L for the fat bastard.

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Blue Christmas in Los Angeles: Flood warnings prompt mass evacs

Just about 349 days after the region was struck with horrific fires that wiped out destroyed thousands of homes and killed at least 30 people, the Los Angeles area faces the opposite type of cataclysm in the form of torrential downpours of up to 10 inches from an “atmospheric river” expected starting Tuesday into Wednesday, LAist reports with a live blog carrying the latest.

Some Angelenos will be home for Christmas if only in their dreams with mandatory evacuation orders near burn scars that can turn into mudslides – already 400 houses in the vicinity of recent wildfires are to be vacated as of 11 AM PDT and more such orders are expected in other areas.

That fucking sucks. Hearts out to our Los Angeles-area people. Stay safe, stay dry, stay off the roads. No shame in celebrating the holiday with neighbors instead of relatives on the other side of the region if it means you’re not going to get caught in a flash flood or a sudden rockslide.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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