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“On Monday, March 24, 2025, at approximately 8:04 am, Austin Police Department (APD) officers responded to a Found/Abandoned Hazardous call at the Tesla dealership located at 12845 N US 183 Hwy SVRD NB. When officers arrived on scene, they located suspicious devices, and called the APD Bomb Squad to investigate. The devices, which were determined to be incendiary, were taken into police custody without incident. This is an open and ongoing investigation, and there is no further information available for release at this time,” says an Austin Police Department press release.

So yeah, this is a false flag by the DOGE State until proven otherwise. There’s no evidence any leftists planted these and it’s far more likely that it’s a plot to justify a crackdown on the civil liberties of those outraged by the attack on hardworking regular Americans led by Elon Musk.

Anyone who disagrees with this theory is also a homosexual pedophile sex trafficker.

This is false and defamatory

It warrants litigation — especially if he doesn’t take it down

— Mike Lee (@BasedMikeLee) March 24, 2025

Fake propaganda is bad again, say the Vice President of the United States and the Senior Senator from Utah. It used to be good when it was about Haitians eating cats, dogs, and waterfowl or an AI image of a little girl neglected by the Biden Administration shivering in a flood, but now it’s bad again. It’s defamatory and illegal now. Only scumbags would spread it.

“Fireball Whisky is cranking up the heat with a lifetime supply offering exclusively for the folks who put the ‘social’ in social security and are ready to twi-light up their final years. Saluting the 90+ legends who’ve spent nearly a century making memories, surviving life’s curveballs, and keeping the party rolling, Fireball is offering the most epic senior discount of all: free lifetime supplies of its signature cinnamon whisky to those born on or before 1935. This supply is for the elders who don’t just raise glasses, they raise hell, too. ‘We’ve seen them all over social, we’ve heard directly from the source, and we can confirm one undeniable truth: senior citizens love Fireball. And who are we to argue with their years of wisdom? After all, they were born right as Prohibition was ending and have been breaking barriers and bringing the heat ever since,’ said Danny Suich, Global Brand Director for Fireball. ‘It’s time to celebrate the 90+ crowd, the party royalty who never stopped turning up.'”

“Starting today and running through March 31, aka the 90th day of the year, those 90+ who are ready to prove the fun is far from over can enter for the chance to win a lifetime supply of Fireball. But this red-hot reward is strictly for the winner. No passing it down in the will, no sneaky ‘whisky inheritance’ loopholes, and definitely no ghostly reappearances to claim a refill,” says a press release from the makers of Big Red gum-flavored whisky-ish concoction Fireball.

Ed Durr, the onomatopoeically-named MAGA trucker who shocked New Jersey Dems by defeating then-incumbent Dem state Senate President Steve Sweeney in 2021 after spending $153 on his campaign and served one term before he was defeated by a Dem challenger in 2023, announced Monday that he’s ending his campaign for governor of the Garden State and endorsing a similarly unfortunately-surnamed Republican, Bill Spadea, the New Jersey Globe reports.

Durr decided to drop out after being unable to raise the $580,000 to qualify for matching funds under the state’s public campaign financing program. Probably not terribly surprising that a guy who won a single race on a fluke from a $153 war chest isn’t that good at attracting donors.

“The world found out shortly before 2 pm eastern time on March 15 that the United States was bombing Houthi targets across Yemen. I, however, knew two hours before the first bombs exploded that the attack might be coming. The reason I knew this is that Pete Hegseth, the secretary of defense, had texted me the war plan at 11:44 am. The plan included precise information about weapons packages, targets, and timing. This is going to require some explaining,” writes Atlantic Editor-in-Chief Jeff Goldberg about a wacky fuckup by the idiots running the country.

Wrote JD Vance as they debated the attack: “Team, I am out for the day doing an economic event in Michigan. But I think we are making a mistake… 3 percent of US trade runs through the suez. 40 percent of European trade does. There is a real risk that the public doesn’t understand this or why it’s necessary. The strongest reason to do this is, as POTUS said, to send a message.”

“Top Democrats tell us their party is in its deepest hole in nearly 50 years – and they fear things could actually get worse: The party has its lowest favorability ever. No popular national leader to help improve it. Insufficient numbers to stop most legislation in Congress,” Axios reported Monday in listicle form for extra pleasure fapping it to the time-honored classic “Dems in disarray” porn.

“Democrats’ dismal reality is not Republican spin. In fact, there’s broad consensus among leaders that most current political, cultural, media and generational trends are cutting against them,” the insufferable duo of founding editors Mike Allen and Jim VandeHei continued in the article.

Be smart: Fuck Axios.

Why it matters: Because the mouth sores they’ve developed from servicing Trump and Republicans regularly for years are gross and they’re not suddenly going to look appealing to MAGA readers.

The big picture: Serious news operations should stop writing articles like they’re PowerPoint slides.

Are the Dems in bad shape, lack a true leader, need to figure their shit out to compete with a propaganda machine AND supplicating Beltway MSM twats with their stupid bullet points? Sure, it’s rough. That they still managed to win five major statewide races in states that went red MIGHT be a sign that maybe it was more Trump than the GOP that edged out Kamala Harris in November so if anything that would mean Republicans face certain difficulties without him on the ticket.

On Day Zero of this “new reality” we already knew that these dumbass splitters weren’t so on board with the GOP brand, long before any of the damage being inflicted came into view. Does Axios mention that? No because they’re fucking weasels rubbing their nipples to “Dems in Disarray.”

Grassley, 91, waves and smiles to booing, cursing protesters https://t.co/cqSEqU4PJp

— Fox News (@FoxNews) March 24, 2025

“It is with great pleasure that I am announcing Alina Habba, Esq, who is currently serving as Counselor to the President, and has represented me for a long time, will be our interim US Attorney for the District of New Jersey, her Home State, effective immediately! Alina will lead with the same diligence and conviction that has defined her career, and she will fight tirelessly to secure a Legal System that is both ‘Fair and Just’ for the wonderful people of New Jersey. Additionally, John Giordano, who has done a terrific job as the interim US Attorney in New Jersey, will now be nominated as the new Ambassador to Namibia!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Monday. Never heard for John Giordano but damn that is some public diminution right there, lol.

“President Donald J Trump announced today that the United States of America will be putting what is known as a Secondary Tariff on the Country of Venezuela, for numerous reasons, including the fact that Venezuela has purposefully and deceitfully sent to the United States, undercover, tens of thousands of high level, and other, criminals, many of whom are murderers and people of a very violent nature. Among the gangs they sent to the United States, is Tren de Aragua, which has been given the designation of ‘Foreign Terrorist Organization.’ We are in the process of returning them to Venezuela — It is a big task! In addition, Venezuela has been very hostile to the United States and the Freedoms which we espouse. Therefore, any Country that purchases Oil and/or Gas from Venezuela will be forced to pay a Tariff of 25 percent to the United States on any Trade they do with our Country. All documentation will be signed and registered, and the Tariff will take place on April 2nd, 2025, LIBERATION DAY IN AMERICA. Please let this notification serve to represent that the Department of Homeland Security, Border Patrol, and all other Law Enforcement Agencies within our Country have been so notified,” the fat fuck also posted. That “secondary tariff” thing’s probably gonna have some implications and not good ones if this asshole’s actually serious.

Convicted felon President Trump’s lawyers on Monday petitioned the Supreme Court to overturn a circuit judge’s ruling ordering the regime to reinstate the thousands of “probationary” employees fired from six federal departments for alleged “poor performance,” Reuters reports.

Reporting over the last weeks from various outlets seemed to hint very strongly that a large share, maybe even the majority, of those purged were not new hires in off the street but were lateral transfers or even had been promoted to new positions but “probationary” all the same due to those changes. That vulnerability exploited without regard to any logic or common sense – unless the argument’s going to be some cunty “Well the whole government’s performing poorly, libs” – meant that someone being promoted to supervisor at the wrong time got them fired. For poor performance.

But because we live in this world those workers have to hope that John Roberts and Amy Coney Barrett don’t come up with some made-up reason to side with the Orange God Emperor.

The Florida man arrested for attempting to run over a crowd of anti-DOGE protestors outside of a Tesla dealership in Palm Beach on Saturday – luckily the asshole drove pretty slowly and no one was hit – is a hardcore Trump fan, the Daily Beast reports, citing a blog post on a “Trumpettes USA” site.

The fanboy, Army veteran Andrew Dutil, had claimed he was employed at the dealership but apparently that was a lie. Making this all the more pathetic is that the asshole was driving a Nissan Pathfinder that looks to be about a 2019 model, and not a Tesla. Dutil faces a state-level charge of aggravated assault and there’s zero chance the Justice Department will hit him with a federal terrorism crime, as Attorney General Pam Bondi said she’s “committed to ending all acts of violence and arson directed at Tesla properties,” emphasis added there because it’s not “protestors.”

The US Supreme Court on Monday denied certiorari to MAGA piece of shit casino mogul Steve Weinberg Wynn’s libel lawsuit against the Associated Press in what was seen as a clear bid to overturn the 1960s decision in New York Times vs Sullivan, the landmark ruling that protects media from civil actions by public officials, long a target of the Trump Regime and its fascist minions.

Wynn, who’s out of the business after a 2018 #MeToo meltdown saw him forced to divest from his casinos, had sued the AP over a story quoting a woman who filed claims to police that Wynn raped her in the 1970s in Chicago and that she later gave birth to a daughter in a gas station restroom.

Walt Disney’s live-action-ish remake of the iconic 1939 animated classic Snow White had a relatively shitty box office debut over the weekend, bringing in “only” $43 million domestically, the National Review reports with glee because it was so controversial and blah blah blah.

Star Rachel Zegler is not “white” enough because she’s half Colombian, she’s outspokenly pro-Gaza and anti-MAGA while co-star Gal Gadot, who plays the evil witch, is an IDF veteran, the seven dwarves are “magical creatures” because “dwarf” isn’t PC any more, Disney “dumped the prince as Snow White’s love interest in favor of the Robin Hood–like leader of a bandit gang,” which is apparently antithetical to traditional conservative values somehow, and apparently kind of of sucked on its own due to being “poorly edited, its CGI animation doesn’t blend well with live actors, and the plot at times has holes befitting Swiss cheese.” Also it needs to earn $600 million to break even.

So yeah, big win for a MAGA world on this one. Disney really got their asses kicked.

Greenland’s outgoing Prime Minister Mute Egede and his likely successor Jens-Frederik Nielsen are less than thrilled with upcoming visits by Second Lady Usha Vance and National Security Advisor Mike Waltz, with both telling a local paper they’re not going to be welcome, the BBC reports.

Egede sees Waltz’s visit in particular as a provocation, given his position. “What is the security advisor doing in Greenland? The only purpose is to show a demonstration of power to us,” he told the Sermitsiaq newspaper. Nielsen echoed this, saying the visits showed a lack of respect.

Usha will watch a Greenland’s national dogsled race and visit a number of cultural sites celebrating the island’s rich history that the Trump Regime does not care about but she still has to pretend for some reason. Waltz’s itinerary is less clear as the trip has yet to be officially announced.

Attention America:

Every time you turn on the TV, Big Pharma is there pushing drugs instead of real health solutions.

Most countries ban these ads, but in the U.S., profit wins over public health.

America, what’s your take?

Should we ban pharmaceutical ads on TV?

MAHA

— Robert F. Kennedy Jr – Commentary News (@RobertKennedyJc) March 22, 2025

There will be no qualification if Bobby actually makes this happen. It’s long overdue. These ads are a freaking cancer and need to be stopped yesterday. Everything else about this mentally-enfeebled phone sex freak sucks but if it means that Americans will be spared the scourge of Big Pharma blasting out ad after insufferable ad every cable news commercial break then do it.

Iceland’s Minister for Children called it quits Sunday after being implicated in a little statutory rape incident that resulted in a pregnancy and a kid who grew up not really being able to see his father as much as he would have liked, the AP reports on some scumbaggery in the land of ice and fire.

The twist is that the now-former minister, Ásthildur Lóa Thórsdóttir, was 23 at the time she had a fling with a then-15 year-old boy who was a fellow member of a church youth group – making it a criminal offense even if the country’s age of consent is 15. Thórsdóttir disputes that she had any leadership role in the group and defended the fling, saying “relationships between people of that age were not at all uncommon, even if they were not desirable.” She also did not quit the government completely and will remain an MP. Her 35 year-old son was unnamed in the report.

Mia Love, the first Black female Republican member of Congress who served in Utah’s 1st District from 2015 to 2019, has died at the age of 49 after suffering from brain cancer, Breitbart reports.

The Brooklyn native Love was the daughter of Haitian immigrants who converted to the Church of Latter-Day Saints in adulthood and found her way to Utah, where she was elected mayor of the town of Saratoga Springs in 2010 before winning the House seat in 2014. Love lost a tight race to Dem Ben McAdams during the 2018 blue wave, something convicted felon President Trump wasn’t too unhappy about the next day, saying “Mia Love gave me no love, and she lost. Too bad. Sorry about that, Mia,” during that infamous press conference where Jim Acosta was kicked out.

Federal prosecutors in Minnesota on Sunday moved to prevent the release of pedophile Republican now-former state Senator Justin Eichorn after FBI agents spotted a woman trying to enter the St Paul apartment he used while in town during legislative sessions, attempting to retrieve a laptop she claimed “she used for her business,” and refused to speak further with agents, Fox 9 reports.

Prosectors told the judge this was Eichorn “orchestrat[ing] an effort to retrieve a computer from his St Paul apartment to deprive investigators of the opportunity to examine it,” and yeah that sure sounds very obstruction of justice-y. The filing also included a transcript of a jailhouse phone call between Eichorn and the woman (who’s probably his wife) in which he said, among other possibly further incriminating shit, “You don’t even need—you can just use – if you have your computer, you don’t even need the apartment one. Because it’s all online. And then…”

“Nobody likes a bad picture or painting of themselves, but the one in Colorado, in the State Capitol, put up by the Governor, along with all other Presidents, was purposefully distorted to a level that even I, perhaps, have never seen before. The artist also did President Obama, and he looks wonderful, but the one on me is truly the worst. She must have lost her talent as she got older.”

“In any event, I would much prefer not having a picture than having this one, but many people from Colorado have called and written to complain. In fact, they are actually angry about it! I am speaking on their behalf to the Radical Left Governor, Jared Polis, who is extremely weak on Crime, in particular with respect to Tren de Aragua, which practically took over Aurora (Don’t worry, we saved it!), to take it down. Jared should be ashamed of himself!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Sunday, lol. He did not name any of the “many people” who have been complaining about it.

Looking to capitalize on a rebound for the Liberal Party ahead of an October deadline for national elections, Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney on Sunday called a snap election for April 28th, the CBC reports, adding that their poll aggregator finds the Libs with a roughly 75 percent chance of gaining seats as convicted felon President Trump threatens Tim Hortonsland.

“I’m asking Canadians for a strong, positive mandate to deal with President [Donald] Trump and to build a new Canadian economy that works for everyone because I know we need change,” said Carney after formally requesting Governor General Mary Simon to dissolve Parliament.