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Kushner’s fantasy Gaza redevelopment plan not unrealistic enough

The AI slop generated to illustrate Jared Kushner and that other scrotum Steve Witkoff’s vision for Gaza in 10 years isn’t unrealistic enough, National Zero reports based on a cursory viewing of the pitch deck slides obtained by the Wall Street Journal last week. Where are the flying cars and floating holographic billboards? Why are the skyscrapers so modest rather than triple the height of the Burj Khalifa? Who left “SpaceX port with galactic commerce ships docked” out of the prompt?

Fire that son of a bitch right now, Jared. He’s got no place on your team.

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Wind turbines interfere with radar something: Regime

Interior Secretary Doug Burgum on Monday announced that he’s pulling the plug on five offshore wind turbine projects that are literally currently under construction currently because binge-drinking date-rapist Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth thinks they interfere with military radar, Fox News reports without mentioning that convicted felon President Trump publicly pledged to cut American ratepayers’ electricity prices in half by 2026 during his lie-filled 2024 comeback campaign.

The latest pretext for gives Interior, “along with the Department of War [sic] and other relevant government agencies, time to work with leaseholders and state partners to assess the possibility of mitigating the national security risks posed by these projects. The prime duty of the United States government is to protect the American people,” Burgum said in a press release. “Today’s action addresses emerging national security risks, including the rapid evolution of the relevant adversary technologies, and the vulnerabilities created by large-scale offshore wind projects with proximity near our east coast population centers. The Trump administration will always prioritize the security of the American people,” Burgum continued. It’s not clear how many workers these projects employ and fuck you if you think Dougie would come anywhere close to broaching that angle here.

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Denmark summons US ambassador over Trump Greenland fuckery

Denmark Foreign Minister Lars Lokke Rasmussen said Monday he was “deeply angered” by convicted felon President Trump’s moronic appointment of scumbag Louisiana Gov Jeff Landry as “special envoy” to Greenland and that Rasmussen will be summoning the US ambassador to demand an explanation for the renewed angling to conquer the vast, frozen territory, CBS News reports.

Rasmussen said the move was “totally unacceptable” and that “As long as we have a kingdom in Denmark that consists of Denmark, the Faroe Islands, and Greenland, we cannot accept that there are those who undermine our sovereignty.” It’s not clear why the hell Trump thinks that Landry, a governor with no foreign policy experience and who already has a job, is the right person to fly to Greenland repeatedly during the winter to try and sell them on surrendering their sovereignty.

Yes, Trump is fucking stupid but it’s still impressive how he’s doing pretty much the exact opposite of what one would do if they really wanted to capitalize on what is theoretically a unique opportunity to expand American territorial claims peaceably and with the consent of Greenlanders.

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Bernie to ceremonially swear Mamdani in to office

Socialist Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders will preside over a second, ceremonial swearing-in of New York City Mayor-Elect Zohran Mamdani at City Hall on New Year’s Day next week, WNBC’s Melissa Russo reports, adding that the first actual swearing-in will be administered privately by New York State Attorney General Letitia James shortly after the clock strikes midnight.

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Russian general gets exploded in Moscow

A little present placed under Russian Army Lt General Fanil Sarvarov lit up like a Christmas tree on Monday, sending him to kingdom come and dictator Vladimir Putin’s goons looking for the likely Ukrainian saboteurs who had delivered the gift to Sarvarov, NBC News reports.

“Investigators are pursuing various theories regarding the murder,” Russian Investigative Committee spokesperson Svetlana Petrenko said in a statement following the kaboom. “One of them is that the crime was orchestrated by Ukrainian intelligence agencies.”

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Grindr is a friggin grind

Like clockwork, all the lib shitposting accounts are going on and on with claims of this massive spike in usage of Grindr this weekend in Phoenix during Turning Point USA’s America Fest MAGA fan-con, and like clockwork it’s all based on unsubstantiated anecdotes and/or sourced from reports submitted to DownDetector – a platform that’s useful for folks to confirm it’s not just them experiencing outages of Instagram or Apple TV or whatever other platform/app.

Example from an Ookla research blog post recapping 2025 in crash-outs: “The second largest global outage stemmed from the gaming sector, with over 3.9 million reports to the PlayStation Network Downdetector page. This network-wide disruption affected users for over 24 hours, locking out players from major titles like Call of Duty and Fortnite. Downdetector’s Incident Attribution analysis concluded the cause was internal to PSN, with no major cloud or ISP involvement” that last part being key because the largest outage was Amazon Web Services in October, in third was CloudFlare last month, both of which bricked thousands of services/apps/platforms downstream of them.

Over 3.9 million reports from gamers worldwide during the February 7th outage, for which Sony gave no explanation but some fans speculated could’ve been due at least in part to high network traffic from a demo of the then-hotly-anticipated Monster Hunter Wilds, which debuted on the 28th.

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WHOA: Charlamagne Tha God sits down with ABC’s Jon Karl

Holy shit! CHARLAMAGNE THA GOD sat down with ABC’s Jon Karl for an interview aired Sunday morning and he said that if Democrats “all have the same goal, I think that could be what’s best for America.” WOW! That’s incredibly insightful and likely even prescient of the future of politics!

Stay tuned to Mediaite for in-depth coverage of Charlamagne’s interview. You won’t want to miss it.

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Todd Blanche fucks up kinda badly

It’s hard to pick out any one moment (full video of the interview above) from Trump defense lawyer Todd Blanche’s Sunday hit on meet the press that looked the worst but this has to be a pretty solid contender when Kristen Welker asks him “Why was this photo of a desk with a drawer open containing photos of Trump taken down?” to which Todd said “You can see in that photo there are photographs of women. We learned after released it that there were concerns about those women.”

Welker then asks “Are you saying that one or more of the women is a victim or survivor of Jeffrey Epstein?” Blanche then said “No, that’s not what I’m saying,” and then continued stammering.

Another gem from later on when Welker asked Blanche why Ghislaine Maxwell was moved just days after he interviewed her. “That’s a Bureau of Prisons security issue that I will not talk about,” said Blanche. Welker then asked “Did you have anything to do with it?” Blanche then responded with “I am responsible for the Bureau of Prisons, so every decision they make lands on my desk.”

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Stefanik quit after Trump refused to endorse her

Sources tell Fox News that scumbag New York Congresswoman Elise Stefanik’s decision to quit the gubernatorial race and her House reelection bid “was partly due to lack of full support from President Trump,” especially in front of media when she was actually in the room with him last week.

“The biggest piece of this puzzle was Donald Trump and the fact that he passed three times on endorsing her candidacy, including in the Oval Office with the Miracle on Ice Team last week,” said a Republican “close to the situation,” adding “I think [that] played the largest role in this decision.”

“When you start to add these things up, and you see a contested primary, you see an assumed ally in the president who passes on endorsing, and it does not seem that you’re going to have the wind to your back in this cycle. I think [it] all played into this,” the source continued, blaming Trump for this whole shitshow and making it pretty clear that Stefanik feels betrayed by the fat bastard for being unwilling to endorse her and leave dipshit Nassau County Exec Bruce Blakeman behind.

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US Navy seizes non-sanctioned Venezuelan oil tanker

US Navy personnel on Saturday seized a Venezuelan oil tanker that was not under international sanctions and thus operating lawfully but hey who gives a fuck anymore, let’s just do it and be legends, Axios reports on an escalation on top of a prior escalation of grabbing the sanctioned one.

“This is a message to Maduro,” said a Trump Regime source and wow, wonder if they had to workshop that one with ChatGPT before texting it to Axios’s White House guy Marc Caputo.

Remember how much work the Bush Administration actually put in to trying to sell the American public on why Iraq just had to be invaded, like faking all the WMD shit when they didn’t even really have to because a lot of the public still had bloodlust from 9/11 and just wanted to see more men with Middle Eastern last names next to “killed in US strike” in the headlines? And that just because the opposition to it was led by clownish fat bastard Michael Moore did not make it a good idea?

It’s funny because like none of those elements are present here in the current lead-up to a similar conflict with Venezuela. There’s no effort to be convincing, no significant public support for it – and really none outside the MAGA cult who would infect themselves with AIDS if Trump said it was a good idea, and Maduro’s a tyrant but pretty small potatoes compared to Saddam Hussein in terms of cultural infamy and brutality toward his own people. Now it simply feels easier to say “This is fucking stupid, there’s no good reason to do this” when fatass Michael Moore isn’t screaming through a bullhorn for you to agree with him and harder for Republicans to take the old “What are you, a Muslim?” and change it to “Tren de Aragua” to accuse you of treason for not supporting their war.

Lazy, directionless, impotent, also reckless and dangerous at the same time. That’s Trump for you.

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“They aren’t motivated by fear or anger”

Supremely insufferable fucking chode NRCC chair Richard Hudson this week sat down for a Puck News interview and had not the easiest time reconciling his party’s propaganda with the reality of their increasingly grim situation going into the new year, being first confronted with the godawful results of last month’s off-year elections in Virginia, New Jersey, and California, forcing him to admit that convicted felon President Trump is a millstone on the necks of GOP candidates everywhere.

“Turnout on the Democrat side was record levels for an off-year election, and Republican turnout was about what it usually is. Democrats are out of power. They’re motivated. They don’t like Donald Trump, so they’re going to turn out. Our side is happy because our guy won the White House, and they like the policies that are coming,” Hudson said, before sharing his little secret sauce for 2026.

“So they aren’t motivated by fear or anger to show up. I think that’s a lesson for us going into the midterms. Turnout is everything. And if we don’t do more than we would normally do, if we don’t turn out our voters, that’s a real threat for us,” the campaign guru said, pretty plainly hinting at the next caravan, rainbow fentanyl in Halloween candy, violent murder(s) that can be somehow blamed on Joe Biden, or some similar panic will need to be focus grouped to appeal to fear and anger voters.

Unmentioned was the fear that Trump will be impeached for a third time. That’ll be fun campaign messaging to watch, telling a 27 year-old gamer in Pennsylvania – who voted red in 2024 on the implied promise that he’d have his own apartment by now – to get up off the futon in his mom’s basement and turn out for Republicans or else Trump, Pam Bondi, and Todd Blanche will be impeached for failure to comply with their statutory duty to release the Epstein files in their entirety.

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Joran Van Der Sloot nearly Epsteined in Peruvian prison

Famous Dutch Chad-bro Joran Van Der Sloot, who in 2023 finally confessed to the 2005 Aruba murder of 18 year-old American tourist Natalee Holloway, was found last Saturday hanging from a bedsheet in his cell in a Peruvian prison but still bearing a pulse, the National Enquirer reports.

The failed Epstein-ing – meaning that it’s ambiguous as to whether he or someone else is responsible for the hanging – came 15 years into Van Der Sloot’s effective 35 year bid for the 2010 murder of 21 year-old Stephany Flores Ramírez in a Lima casino hotel room, a second femicide that the shitbag was able to commit – five years to the day after Holloway, eerily – due to the failures of the Dutch colonial justice system to bring charges against him for the Holloway murder. It wasn’t until 2023 that Van Der Sloot was extradited to a US federal court and confessed that he had killed Holloway while pleading guilty to attempted extortion of her family. He was given a 20 year bid but the judge allowed him to serve it concurrently with the 46 year Peruvian stay. It caps out in 2045 as under the Peruvian constitution no inmate can do more than 35 years under any circumstances.

It does not appear that Van Der Sloot will be relieved of that burden before heading back to his cell block as local outlet La Republica reported the 38 year-old men’s rights activist is in stable condition and is expected to recover. The paper also reported that the Epstein-ing came a few days after he had sent word to the Ramirez family about how sorry he was, reviving media attention to the case.

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Santanic cult raids Montreal supermarket

A Santanic cult, all clad in the robes of their pagan lord Santa Claus and his elven minions, raided a supermarket in Montreal, Quebec on Monday, stealing cartloads of groceries for what they said was a redistribution of the goods to the city’s poor, CNN reports. “A handful of businesses are holding our vital needs hostage,” the Santanic cult, Les Soulèvements du Fleuve, said in a social media post following the heist. “They continue to suffocate the population, to siphon (from) them as much money as possible, simply because they can. For us, this is theft and they are the thieves.”

“Many factors influence food inflation, including disruptions in the supply chain, volatility in commodity prices, changes in trade conditions, and retail crime,” Metro supermarket spokeswoman Genevieve Gregoire said. “The prices on store shelves directly reflect the costs of the supply chain.”

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Siskel and Ebert Massie and Khanna give it two thumbs down

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Might’ve been better for Elise if Trump just didn’t post anything

“Elise Stefanik, a fantastic person and Congresswoman from New York State, has just announced she won’t be running for Governor. Elise is a tremendous talent, regardless of what she does. She will have GREAT success, and I am with her all the way!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Friday, even though she’d be UN Ambassador now if he’d actually been with her all the way.

The Bulwark’s Sarah Longwell, Tim Miller, and Jonathan V Last reacted earlier and hol-lee shit it was BRUTAL the way they spent 15 minutes systematically vivisecting Stef’s person and how this is everything she deserved for being such a piece of shit. It is worth your time the way they compared her to the freaks like Kash Patel and Jeanine Pirro who got their nice jobs, to concluding Stef’s crash out was probably about her appearance more than anything else because Trump is a dirty old man.

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President of peace bombs Syria

US Forces Central Command on Friday announced that “US forces have commenced a large-scale strike against ISIS infrastructure and weapons sites in Syria. This massive strike follows the attack on US and partner forces in Syria on Dec 13,” begging the question of why these targets were still allowed to exist even before that asshole shot those soldiers last weekend.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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