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Congrats to the National Zero reader who called this, even if this development was about as unpredictable as putting baking soda and vinegar in a little plastic volcano. NBC News reports House Republican leaders on Tuesday told members to either cancel town halls or take other measures such as doing them virtual only or pre-vetting attendees. That last option seems particularly on-brand for the party, like only the loyal constituents are worthy of an audience.

“Obviously we’re very aware of those headlines,” an RNC official said, adding “I don’t know that a specific edict is going to come down from on high that they need to stop or anything, but a message I believe has been clearly sent that this narrative should end very soon. Probably the best way for that to happen is no more town halls. Elon Musk’s work still has the administration’s support, period.”

RNC adviser Danielle Alvarez, who may or may not have been the same person in the previous quote, told NBC in a statement that “The president’s policies are incredibly popular, and the American people applaud his success in cutting the waste, fraud and abuse of their hard-earned taxpayer dollars. Pathetic astroturf campaigns organized by out-of-touch, far-left groups are exactly why Democrats will keep losing.” Then again in a non-direct quote an anonymous RNC official said they can’t and won’t try to implement an impossible-to-enforce ban on holding town halls but that members are scared enough to simply stop holding publicly open events on their own.

The chief of staff to a House Republican in a deep-red district actually liked the rowdy protests because they helped fuel MAGA backlash back during Trump’s first midterm. “It’s 2018 all over again. The town halls, if anything, helped in districts like ours,” the deeply cynical piece of shit said.

“Following the Department of Justice’s long-overdue decision to dismiss the case against Mayor Adams, someone within the government leaked a February 12, 2025 letter from the former interim US Attorney for the Southern District of New York to the Attorney General. The leaked letter disclosed, among other things, the former interim US Attorney’s self-proclaimed confidence in Mayor Adams’s guilt; the fact that Southern District prosecutors were planning to re-indict Mayor Adams, including on a new and equally baseless obstruction charge, and the wildly inflammatory and false accusation that Mayor Adams and his counsel had, in essence, offered a quid to the Department of Justice in exchange for the quo of dismissal. The disclosure of this letter to the press was part of an extraordinary flurry of leaked internal Justice Department correspondence that included memoranda from the Acting Deputy Attorney General to the Southern District and an unhinged resignation letter by one of the former line prosecutors on this case. In addition to violating Mayor Adams’s fundamental constitutional rights and ability to receive a fair trial, the government’s leaks violated numerous statutory and court rules, including the Justice Department’s own longstanding policies aimed at curbing prosecutorial misconduct,” write dipshit New York City Mayor Eric Adams’s lawyers in a new motion to dismiss the charges against him.

Yes, you read correctly. The former interim SDNY US Attorney Danielle Sassoon resigning – and then like six or seven other prosecutors in her office – after refusing to move to dismiss the charges against Adams is now the cause to dismiss the charges against Eric Adams. That is so MAGA.

🚨🚨 President Trump is setting a new precedent for tight, punitive government control over a free press -> Imagine a Democratic president renaming it the Gulf of Obama — and targeting Fox News for refusing to call it that. https://t.co/YUcu7pXSS8

— Jim VandeHei (@JimVandeHei) February 26, 2025

🚨🚨Behind the Curtain: How Trump's mind works – There's a Rosetta stone that demystifies how his brain works, his closest friends tell us: his Mar-a-Lago Spotify playlist and nightly DJ routine. https://t.co/CbQw6FDhJ1

— Jim VandeHei (@JimVandeHei) April 4, 2024

It’s almost like Axios co-founder Jim VandeHei could have seen this coming, or maybe even did, but still thought the Trump DJ-ing photoshop job was just too damn funny not to use to illustrate the then-former president’s “quirks” back in August. “Haha! This is great stuff! So hilariously off-beat and wacky! This is freaking perfect for our in-depth piece about Trump’s Spotify playlist! No way he would shut off access to outlets like ours if he somehow wins and returns to power!”

In conclusion, Jim VandeHei and the rest of his ilk should go fuck themselves.

“As a President who is being given credit for having the Best Opening Month of any President in history, quite naturally, here come the Fake books and stories with the so-called ‘anonymous,’ or ‘off the record,’ quotes. At some point I am going to sue some of these dishonest authors and book publishers, or even media in general, to find out whether or not these ‘anonymous sources’ even exist, which they largely do not. They are made up, defamatory fiction, and a big price should be paid for this blatant dishonesty. I’ll do it as a service to our Country. Who knows, maybe we will create some NICE NEW LAW!!!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Wednesday, apparently eager to mount an even greater offensive against the First Amendment.

He then falsely asserted that “AMERICA LOVES TOM HOMAN!!!” in another post. Then it was “APPLE SHOULD GET RID OF DEI RULES, NOT JUST MAKE ADJUSTMENTS TO THEM. DEI WAS A HOAX THAT HAS BEEN VERY BAD FOR OUR COUNTRY. DEI IS GONE!!!”

“US Secretary of Agriculture Brooke Rollins today directed the Food and Nutrition Service (FNS) at the US Department of Agriculture to immediately clarify and enforce all rules restricting its beneficiaries to US citizens and legal residents only. This Secretarial directive enforces President Donald J Trump’s Executive Order of February 19th, 2025, ensuring taxpayer resources are not used to incentivize or support illegal immigration. ‘The days in which taxpayer dollars are used to subsidize illegal immigration are over,’ said Secretary Rollins,” says a Tuesday USDA press release.

At no point did the USDA even come close to providing any sort of estimate on how many illegal immigrants are currently receiving food stamp benefits or, more importantly, what they’re going to do to make sure they’re not haphazardly cutting off citizens with Hispanic surnames. That concern might however be misplaced as there’s a solid chance this directive is just more performative circlejerking for the MAGA base and few, if any, food stamps beneficiaries will lose them.

This is, uh, difficult to describe. Perhaps the easiest way to simply say that if we were to have an AI do a parody of what an ad for a future Trump Gaza resort would look like it’d probably be pretty similar to this. Maybe we’d cut out the bearded belly dancers, the Trump and Netanyahu sitting next together shirtless by the pool, and the Elon-like character eating crab toast or something.

Yet in this timeline, not only did the President of the United States post this on his shitty Twitter clone profile, he pinned it to the top of his feed, the clearest expression yet of his ambition to conquer Gaza and build some goddamned dump of a resort that’d be overpriced as fuck.

Wednesday’s Shivaratri festival in Kathmandu, Nepal may sound like a caucasian backpacker’s dream come true, but according to the AP it’s real: Just tens of thousands of spiritual pilgrims getting high as fuck at a temple in a cloud forest temple, given a pass by cops who normally enforce prohibition against the herb. “Weed smoking should be made legal but with some limits and boundaries,” said weed smoker/Shiva worshipper Abhishek Pathak. “There are multiple uses of marijuana and I really hope in the future that the use of marijuana will be totally legalized. Once it is legalized, the benefits would be not just for the individuals but for the entire country.”

Lol.

UPDATE 2/25/2025 8:15 PM EST: Oh wait these fuckers are going to pass it by like three votes max.

This is, um, unlikely to pass, so the real fun is watching it fail as Jesus Dork Speaker Mike Johnson’s caucus needs “prayers” to take the first step to enacting convicted felon President Trump’s agenda.

Convicted felon President Trump’s regime plan to create a registry of all undocumented immigrants requiring them to submit their personal information or face fines and prison time, according to a draft regulation obtained by the Wall Street Journal. Undocumented aliens in the country – including children 14 and older – would have to submit fingerprints and their home addresses. Those who qualify but fail to register could be fined up to $5,000 and up to six months in prison. It’s not clear why it doesn’t just threaten them with deportation if they don’t register.

“We’re gonna be selling a gold card. You have a green card, this is a gold card. We’re gonna put a price on that card of about $5 million and that’s going to give you green card privileges, plus. It’s gonna be a route to citizenship, and wealthy people will be coming into our country,” convicted felon President Trump told reporters in the Oval Office on Tuesday as he signed executive orders

Grateful to announce that I am drafting legislation to direct the Bureau of Graving and Printing to design a $250 bill featuring Donald J. Trump. Bidenflation has destroyed the economy forcing American families to carry more cash. Most valuable bill for most valuable President! pic.twitter.com/sTqcHNpbBO

— Joe Wilson (@RepJoeWilson) February 25, 2025

Some people don’t appreciate the restraint it requires to not say what one really feels about certain actors in the political/media sphere. Every now and then the things they do elicit such a primal, sixth-grade-self urge to use specific language to describe said certain actors, fighting that urge while knowing that nothing’s going to do it except for the genuine article. Like not even “flamboyant” and “cocksucker” really feel like they get the job done here, even if notionally appropriate. Still, respect for members of our audience whom could be offended by the use of a slur is paramount will survive the thrashing against self-imposed restraint. Just barely. This time.

Holy fuck it is so hard. This guy is such a faaaaa… tuous twatwaffle. Sorry.

“The Trump administration and the Ukrainian government have reached a deal designed to allow the US to tap some of Ukraine’s immense mineral wealth and to spur post-war development in the country,” Axios reports, citing two sources “close to the Ukrainian government,” copied verbatim not to mince words about the potential for the development. Further down Axios writes that there are no security guarantees yet in the agreement that Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky is expected to travel to DC to sign in the coming days. Hopefully that’s a gap in reporting and not the agreement.

A Florida federal judge on Tuesday tossed Trump Media and Technology Group’s bid to overrule the Brazilian Supreme Court Justice Alexandre De Moraes, raising a shit ton of jurisdictional issues (as expected) and also pointing out that Devin Nunes and pals didn’t actually provide any evidence that a “Dissident” had been blocked from using Truth Social under De Moraes’s orders.

“Upon review of all relevant filings, case law, the arguments of Plaintiffs’ counsel, and being otherwise fully advised, the Court DENIES Plaintiffs’ Motion for TRO. The Court finds that the pronouncements and directives purportedly issued by Defendant Moraes, were not served upon Plaintiffs in compliance with the Hague Convention, to which the United States and Brazil are both signatories, nor were they served pursuant to the Mutual Legal Assistance Treaty between the United States and Brazil. The documents were not otherwise properly served on Plaintiffs.”

“Additionally, the Court is aware of no action taken by Defendant or the Brazilian government to domesticate the ‘orders’ or pronouncements pursuant to established protocols,” wrote US District Judge Mary Scriven, likely portending a rough time for Team Orange in this moronic lawsuit.

The identity of the official administrator of “DOGE,” whom Karoline “Blondi” Leavitt refused to reveal on Tuesday despite confirming that there is an administrator of the not really real government agency, is named Amy Gleason, per Semafor’s Shelby Talcott.

Now just be clear it would sound more like what QAdulteress is talking about here is the Dem members gathering outside the CFPB and USAID and what not like they did recently as opposed to the recent town hall tribulations of her colleagues. It wouldn’t be terribly off-brand if she did mean voters however, given the way she basically said fuck you to federal workers in the same clip.

Asked by the Washington Post’s Jacqueline Alemany on Monday a question about Venezuelan detainees at Guantanamo Bay who had told the paper they “were rarely let outside, they were shackled and placed in cages, and alleged they were not treated like human beings. Does the White House have any response to those conditions?” White House Press Secretary Karoline “Blondi” Leavitt didn’t deny it and seemed proud of the “accomplishment,” of the way the guys were treated.

“At Guantanamo Bay? It’s a promise the president campaigned on, that if you invade our nation’s borders, if you break our country’s laws, and then further commit heinous, brutal crimes in the interior of our country – like raping and murdering innocent, law abiding women and girls and commit heinous acts of violence, you may be held at Guantanamo Bay. These are criminals we’re talking about. Don’t forget that,” said Leavitt at her press briefing.

Leavitt also announced the regime would be taking direct control of the White House press corps, meaning members would no longer determine who is eligible to join. Fuck you First Amendment.

“Late yesterday afternoon, I walked to my backyard intending to retrieve a piece of conduit which came off my dock and was laying on the ice. While walking on the hill down to the dock, I stepped on ice and evidently fell hard, hitting the back of my head. I do not remember anything from the fall until arriving at Sanford Health emergency room with Kris. After seeing the emergency doctor, taking some tests, including a CT Scan, and seeing a neurologist, I was diagnosed with a severe concussion, a seizure, and a slight brain bleed. The wound on my head wouldn’t stop oozing, so the doctor punched a couple of staples on the laceration and admitted me,” says North Dakota Senator Kevin Cramer in a Facebook post. Or probably it was his staff writing in the first person.

“I had a good night sleep before getting a second CT Scan. I am better today with only a slight brain bleed and pretty bad headaches. Doctors prefer I rest a little longer before returning to DC, so I do not know exactly when that will happen. It will be day to day this week, but I am ready to return quickly if events require it,” the post from the Republican or his staff members continued.

It’s Cramer’s second household accident requiring hospitalization since 2022, when he completely fucked up his hand while plating around with a lawnmower. Since then his 43 year-old son Ian also killed a cop during a high speed chase and was subsequently sentenced to 28 years in the joint.

A new Roanoke College survey of Virginia voters finds Dem former Congresswoman Abigail Spanberger leading Republican Lt Gov Winsome Sears 39 to 24 in this November’s big gubernatorial race, which was going to be tough for MAGA even before all this DOGE bullshit started.

Of course they were. https://t.co/sKB6z05K17

— Ted Cruz (@tedcruz) February 25, 2025

“George Soros or Xi Jingping or Bill Gates or someone else paid for this raucous protest at California Republican Jay Obernolte’s town hall on Monday, the MAGA propaganda-industrial complex will start saying soon. If they haven’t already,” National Zero wrote Tuesday just hours after the Washington Free Beacon printed their story linked above. So it was “already” and not “soon.”

Should’ve gone with that on Monday instead of calling it that they would start throwing “insurrection” around again to describe the protests. Anyway, it’s the old six degrees of Soros in the article, which says “When angry voters confronted Rep. Rich McCormick over DOGE at a town hall held in the Georgia Republican’s deep-red district, the New York Times, Washington Post, and CBS News cited the scene as proof of emerging bipartisan ‘backlash’ over Elon Musk’s efforts to slash government spending. CBS included a quote from one of the protest’s organizers, Maggie Goldman, describing her only as a McCormick constituent. Goldman does live in McCormick’s district, though she’s far from a concerned supporter of the two-term Republican. A self-described ‘Democrat and Political Activist,’ Goldman, who did not respond to a request for comment, coordinated volunteers for Pete Buttigieg’s presidential campaign in 2019 and 2020,” and so on and so forth.

All of this written as if the “concerned mom” on every fucking Fox News segment isn’t actually a right wing “policy institute” hack who was MAGA long before she was an “inseminated person.”