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“President Trump has voluntarily released updates from his personal physician, as well as detailed reports from Dr Ronny Jackson who treated him after the first assassination attempt.”

“All have concluded he is in perfect and excellent health to be Commander in Chief. He has maintained an extremely busy and active campaign schedule unlike any other in political history, whereas Kamala Harris has been unable to keep up with the demands of campaigning and reveals on a daily basis she is wholly unqualified to be President of the United States. Her schedule is much lighter because, it is said, she does not have the stamina of President Trump. Polls are reflective of this,” wrote large-headed Trump spokesman Steven Cheung in a statement Saturday following the White House’s release of a comprehensive summary of the vice president’s health.

He then links the same bullshit reports by dumbass Congressman Ronny Jackson from July and the November 2023 letter from that one quack, neither of which are new or comprehensive.

The White House on Saturday released an unremarkable statement from an Army physician on the current condition of Vice President Kamala Harris’s health, going into specifics such as:

Sounds like she’s in perfectly good shape for a woman whose big six-oh is in eight days.

High in his onyx black redoubt that towers above a sprawling, gilded metropolis one Sunday night late last month, convicted felon former President Trump raged impetuously to the Satanic New World Order that controls him over their lack of fully-fledged financial support for his quest to conquer the United States and end its democracy permanently, sources tell the New York Times.

He called Vice President Kamala Harris “retarded” during the tirade to billionaires Paul Singer, Betsy DeVos, her husband Dick, Joe Ricketts, his son Todd, and Warren Stephens. Trump also complained about the number of Jews still supporting Harris which, just on a side note, doesn’t really mean shit given that Jewish-Americans aren’t particularly represented in the swing states. Would he have won the 2020 election if the Jewish American vote was inverted? Yes, absolutely, but the amount of time and energy he spends barking up this tree is ridiculous in comparison to actually gettable and, more importantly, considerably larger demos like blue collar workers and nihilistic young Black/Latino men.

Then again the meeting was more about what he actually thinks of Jewish Americans: He whined to them that they weren’t spending enough on him. The Times writes “At one point, Mr Trump seemed to suggest that these donors had plenty to be grateful to him for. He boasted about how great he had been for their taxes, something that some privately noted wasn’t true for everyone in the room.”

In case you're wondering why my suspension was lifted: https://t.co/8TFAcRk7LZ

— Ken Klippenstein (@kenklippenstein) October 12, 2024

Funny how that works, that once Leon Elon is exposed as a complete fucking hypocrite when it comes to distributing and/or reporting on hacked information he quietly walks back on unilaterally playing God with an independent journalist’s livelihood. Actually kind of weird he can be shamed into actually walking the walk on his whole “Free Speech Crusader” image like that.

Vice President Kamala Harris’s campaign tells CBS they’ll be releasing the boss’s medical records on Saturday with the explicit aim of pressuring convicted felon former President Trump to do the same. The fat fuck, who Meidas Touch claims was literally shitting himself on stage Thursday night, told CBS two months ago that he would be releasing his medical records soon, but of course did not.

A new set of New York Times/Siena College swing state surveys finds Vice President Kamala Harris leading convicted felon former President Trump 49 to 45 among likely voters in Pennsylvania while Trump leads Harris 50 to 45 percent in Arizona. Dems Pennsylvania Senator Bob Casey leads hedge fund d-bag Rich McCormick 48 to 44 percent and Arizona Congressman Ruben Gallego is up 48 to 41 percent over psycho Kari Lake in the race to succeed useless “independent” Kyrsten Sinema.

The Great Red Spot, the massive red 190 year-old hurricane in Jupiter’s atmosphere is unexpectedly moving, CNN reports on possible climate change on the gas giant’s surface.

• Let’s be clear:  Trump’s infamous “The Weave” claims–about his speaking style always comes back to where it needs to be–isn’t some practice of skill or art.  It’s because Trump glances back at the teleprompter and picks up where he was supposed to be on the script.  It’s not Trump’s genius; it’s the skill of the person running the scroll on the screen.
• We really must send 45 orders of Orange Chicken from local Chinese restaurants to Mar-a-Lago on October 23rd, the date of the proposed second debate on CNN Trump backed out of, when Harris will hold a Town Hall on the network.
• I know there are rules about bringing up topics unfavorable to Republicans after tragedies like mass shootings and hurricanes caused by things they mocked like gun safety and climate change, but is now a good time to talk about how Ron DeSantis et al screwed up Florida’s property insurance market?  So many private insurers pulled out of Florida, tens of thousands of homes are now either without any insurance at all or covered under state disaster plans–bolstered by federal taxpayer dollars. In other words:  Florida socializes its rebuilding cost after the disaster with the rest of the nation.  
• Harris’s media strategy is nothing short of brilliant.  She understands members of the most important voter group in the upcoming election–previously disengaged citizens–need to hear her message, and they don’t watch 60 Minutes.  She’s getting the message to the valued undecided voters, on their platforms; Harris is going to where voters are comfortable. Trump’s going to where he’s comfortable, on the bro-heavy hoping his voters will follow.
  Read More ▶ “Random thoughts Friday, Volume CXCV”

Faulty aircraft and spacecraft manufacturer Boeing–which had just about as many public disasters as the Trump campaign–announced on Friday that it will lay off 10% of its workforce, about 17,000 workers total, the Associated Press reports.

Most of the impacted employees will likely be from Boeing’s production facilities in the Pacific Northwest where the company employs about half of its employees.  The layoffs are due to corporate losses and reduced production due to an ongoing strike, not to mention multiple quality assurance issues and a spacecraft that’s not safe enough to return its astronauts to Earth.

German Neo-Nazi Andreas Munzhuber, a leader of the Bavarian faction of the Der III Weg (The Third Way), has experienced a sudden and dramatic fall from the movement’s peak in a quick struggle that some might even describe as Munzhaber getting tripped up by the roots during his ascent.

And that’d be pretty accurate in a literal sense too as The Telegraph reports that Munzhaber fell to his death during a hike up the Untersberg, Adolf Hitler’s favorite mountain in the Bavarian Alps, plunging about 200 feet to his death after tripping on a tree root along a narrow path during a group hike with his National Socialist buds on September 29th, something the media only caught wind of nearly two weeks after due to a GoFundMe set up for Munzhaber’s funeral costs. Generally German officials only identify accident victims by their first name and last initial, causing the lag.

The Untersberg is within view of the Eagle’s Nest (Kehlsteinhaus), Hitler’s alpine redoubt.

Saying that the effort to purge Virginia’s voting rolls of non-citizens is unconstitutionally dragging rightfully-registered citizens into its overly-broad net, the US Justice Department filed suit against the Commonwealth saying citizens’ registrations have been unjustly canceled, NBC News reports.

Republican Governor Glenn Youngkin started a program where people registered to vote whose information matches that of people on a known “non-citizen” list, the state sends a notice to the registered voter to confirm their identity within fourteen days of their name would be stricken from the voter registry.

The DOJ said that the continuation and promotion of the program is meant to remove people during a 90-day period before the election, an effort to make it harder for people to stay registered.  “The Commonwealth’s unlawful actions here have likely confused, deterred, and removed U.S. citizens who are fully eligible to vote —the very scenario that Congress tried to prevent when it enacted the Quiet Period Provision,” the DOJ wrote.

McDonald’s doesn’t make straight up movie tie-in meals anymore. Of course Happy Meal boxes and toys can and often will be themed after newly-released children’s movies, but I’m talking about adult meals. In the old days you could get a Jurassic Park or Batman Returns collector’s cup along with the fry and burger boxes being printed with promotional art from the movie. Nowadays the Golden Arches seems more about “collabs” with musicians (the “BTS meal“) and self-referential appeals to millennial consumers’ nostalgia for the McD’s of their childhood (the “Adult Happy Meal“).

Not that they ever would have anyway given that The Apprentice is most certainly not Jurassic Park or Batman Returns, it still feels like a missed opportunity for McDonald’s and the filmmakers behind the new biopic examining convicted felon former President Trump’s early business career spanning from roughly 1973 to 1986. That they debuted on the same day would be enough alone. Throw in the fat bastard’s legendary love of Big Macs – a love that may even exceed his love of racism and corruption – and the fact that it’s a chicken version a day after he bitched out of another debate with Vice President Kamala Harris – the timing outright demands a combo review and a photoshopped image of what could have been if the marketing crew at McD’s had balls and a sense of humor.

“The Justice Department announced today that it has filed a lawsuit against the State of Virginia, Virginia State Board of Elections and Virginia Commissioner of Elections to challenge a systematic state program aimed at removing voters from its election rolls too close to the Nov 5 general election in violation of the National Voter Registration Act of 1993 (NVRA). Section 8(c)(2) of the NVRA, also known as the Quiet Period Provision, requires states to complete systematic programs aimed at removing the names of ineligible voters from voter registration lists no later than 90 days before federal elections. The Quiet Period Provision applies to certain systematic programs carried out by states that are aimed at striking names from voter registration lists based on a perceived failure to meet initial eligibility requirements – including citizenship – at the time of registration.”

“‘As the National Voter Registration Act mandates, officials across the country should take heed of the law’s crystal clear and unequivocal restrictions on systematic list maintenance efforts that fall within 90 days of an election,’ said Assistant Attorney General Kristen Clarke of the Justice Department’s Civil Rights Division. ‘By cancelling voter registrations within 90 days of Election Day, Virginia places qualified voters in jeopardy of being removed from the rolls and creates the risk of confusion for the electorate. Congress adopted the National Voter Registration Act’s quiet period restriction to prevent error-prone, eleventh hour efforts that all too often disenfranchise qualified voters. The right to vote is the cornerstone of our democracy and the Justice Department will continue to ensure that the rights of qualified voters are protected,'” says a DOJ press release.

A 46 year-old Colorado pharmacist, who is named in this Reuters report but ehhhhh, feels maybe kinda gratuitous put it here. Feel pretty bad for her… Anyway, a 46 year-old Colorado pharmacist whose name you can see if you click on the link, noticed that a credit card payment for her son’s karate lessons had been declined in December 2021. She checked the account to see that the card was maxed out. And then another one. And another four. And $40,000 was gone from their savings.

“It says OnlyFans, OnlyFans, OnlyFans,” said the pharmacist, who was undergoing chemotherapy for breast cancer at the time, finding out that he had pissed away $135,000, sending the woman to both bankruptcy and then, justifiably, to divorce court. “Not only was it shocking, it was devastating,” the woman told Reuters. The article doesn’t mention what kind of porn the guy was into, just that he was sending cash, like $2,000 at a clip, to a creator based in Colombia. He assaulted his wife repeatedly when she confronted him about it but because of the chemotherapy and radiation she didn’t have the energy to sit through a trial so she let it go and dropped the charges.

Not that that’s relevant. OnlyFans has a responsibility here. They see a guy spending $135,000 they should’ve fucking cut him off or put some kind of limit on his spending. That shit is insane.

The fat bastard also just guaranteed a generator for every household in the South if he wins the election, posting “North Carolina, Georgia, Florida, Alabama, South Carolina, Tennessee and, always, Louisiana, Texas, and other States: Due to the unusual activity of Storms, Hurricanes, and Tornadoes, and other Natural Disasters, especially in well-reported parts of our Country, when I win the Presidential Election of 2024, on November 5th, the Most Important Day in the History of our Country, we are going to allow you, retroactive to September 1st, 2024, to purchase a Generator for your Home, which will, in so doing, entitle you to fully deduct the TOTAL cost of said Generator for Income Tax Purposes. With what our Country is going through, and with the poor response you’re getting from the White House and the Federal Government, including Lyin’ Kamala Harris and Crooked Joe Biden, this is something you fully deserve. This Tax Deduction is available until August 31st, 2025,” which is great politics for trying to win Arizona, Nevada, and the Blue Wall.

“It has just come out that Democrats in Washington and the Democrat Governor’s Office of North Carolina (Roy Cooper) were blocking people and money from coming into North Carolina to help people in desperate need. Biden knew about it, and so did Kamala! It’s all over the place – A HORRIBLE SITUATION. I will make it up to everyone when we take Office on January 20th.”

“HOLD ON, I’M COMING!” posted convicted felon former President Trump on Friday.

A Pennsylvania federal judge on Thursday told Russian asset Cornel West tough shit about being disqualified, even if he sympathized a bit, it’s simply too late to put West on the ballots that are already being cast early in the 2024 election in the state and there’s no undoing it, the AP reports.

“The laws, as applied to him and based on the record before the court, appear to be designed to restrict ballot access to him (and other non-major political candidates) for reasons that are not entirely weighty or tailored, and thus appear to run afoul of the US Constitution,” wrote district Judge Nicholas Ranjan as he expressed “deep concern” over the way the Secretary of State Al Schmidt’s office handled West’s petition. “If this case had been brought earlier, the result, at least on the present record, may have been different,” Ranjan continued. Too bad, Ivan.

Former Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Mark Milley fears a second Trump Reich could see him called back into uniform and immediately court-martialed in a show trial for his thoughtcrimes, the Guardian reports from an excerpt out of Bob Woodward’s new book and what the Biden Administration should have fucking done to that piece of shit QAnon freak Michael Flynn.

“NASA’s Kennedy Space Center remains closed as Hurricane Milton moves off the coast. The safety of everyone impacted by the storm remains our top priority as the agency begins the assessment and recovery process from the hurricane. Once the winds subsided to a safe level, the center’s Ride Out Team and engineering teams began initial checkouts to ensure bridges are safe and useable.”

“Later, a larger assessment team will thoroughly check the entire center. The agency’s Europa Clipper launch team will schedule an official launch date when teams from NASA and SpaceX are able to perform their assessments, and confirm it’s safe to launch. Teams are working to protect launch opportunities no earlier than Sunday, Oct 13. Clipper has launch opportunities through Wednesday, Nov 6. NASA will provide more information on Clipper launch opportunities as it becomes available,” NASA says in an update on the stalled launch of a probe to the icy Jovian moon.