Category: Uncategorized

Jesus Dork Speaker of the House Mike Johnson on Friday told Fox and Friends that he’s dead set on keeping the House closed until the government reopens one way or another.

Documents unsealed in a Manhattan federal court this week revealed that in 2019, following the indictment of convicted felon President Trump’s best bud Jeffrey Epstein, JP Morgan Chase officials had filed a suspicious activity report with the US Treasury Department flagging over 2,400 transactions between Dirty Jeff and a number of top Wall Street assholes, totaling over $1 billion wired back and forth, resulting in zero indictments for those plutocrats, the New York Times reports.

Among those named in the SAR were Leon Black, the co-founder of private equity firm Apollo Global Management, hedge fund manager Glenn Dubin, Alan “Dersh” Dershowitz, and trusts controlled by Victoria’s Secret founder Leslie Wexner. The activity report itself did not say what JP Morgan found so suspicious about the transactions, so it sure sounds like ass-covering from the House of Dimon.

An Indianapolis grand jury is investigating hardcore MAGA Evangelical Lt Governor Micah Beckwith’s office over allegations that staffers had shared among themselves or even created a deepfake porn video of Republican state Representative Craig Haggard’s wife and – possibly more seriously – that certain cronies had been given no-show patronage jobs in the office, Fox 59 reports.

The station viewed an official document confirming that a grand jury had heard testimony “in the original investigation into the distribution of an intimate image(s) and ghost employment in the office of the Indiana lieutenant governor” in August and then in September, but further specifics would not be available unless and until any indictments are handed down. In response to a request comment about the matter, Beckwith’s office said “Active grand juries are confidential, therefore, the office has no knowledge of any of this,” as though that was the intent of the affiliate’s question.

Of course they fucking know about the grand jury investigation’s existence, it was first reported on in August. Which leaves two possibilities: (1) Team Beckwith’s spokesperson knows that staffers testified and simply lied to the station about it (2) He doesn’t actually know if any staffers testified, which could itself be pretty freaking bad since that could mean some made deals with prosecutors.

Just like a Liberal, If you disagree with MTG now, she accuses you of being paid to do it. Then of course, she calls you sexist, just like a liberal would do too.

It's not that she went out with Democrats on the White House steps with them holding signs behind her calling… https://t.co/6p8QEpjiOr

— Catturd ™ (@catturd2) October 31, 2025

“It’s not that she went out with Democrats on the White House steps with them holding signs behind her calling Trump a child rapist No that couldn’t be it. Or she’s constantly on CNN now giving Democrat’s [sic] talking points against Trump, Or completely changing her stance on deportations (it’s on video) and I can go on and on. It’s because you’re all sexist, paid pathetic men who just hate her because she’s a woman,” Señor Turd continued after the cutoff in the embed.

Huh. You know maybe he should’ve just left it alone instead of kind of validating her. It’s not even like she wrote “Catturd is a paid influencer.” She didn’t name anyone in the tweet.

A district attorney’s office in Tennessee on Thursday dropped a felony “Threats of Mass Violence on School Property” charge against 61 year-old retired cop Larry Bushart and released him from jail over a month after he was arrested for posting a verbatim Trump quote “We have to get over it” and “Seems relevant today” in reply to a vigil for then freshly-dead Charlie Kirk, the AP reports.

“Investigators believe Bushart was fully aware of the fear his post would cause and intentionally sought to create hysteria within the community,” Perry County Sheriff Nick Weems told The Tennessean last month justifying holding Bushart with bail set at $2 million. The fact they demanded Bushart delete the reply and then arrested him when he refused might be kind of problematic.

“Very happy to be going home,” Bushart told local station WOPC-FM after his release. “I didn’t seek to be a media sensation, but here we are.” This dude better sue the fuck out of the sheriff and DA.

“BECAUSE OF THE FACT THAT THE DEMOCRATS HAVE GONE STONE COLD ‘CRAZY,’ THE CHOICE IS CLEAR – INITIATE THE ‘NUCLEAR OPTION,’ GET RID OF THE FILIBUSTER AND, MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!” screamed convicted felon President Trump on Truth Social on Thursday, after apparently running out of space in his previous post which was just way, way, way too fucking long to paste here, let alone read at this hour when it’s already been a long day of MAGA bullshit.

If you credit Quinnipiac University Polling Institute‘s final survey of New Jersey’s likely voters before Tuesday’s big gubernatorial election then you can be rest easy feeling like Congresswoman Mikie Sherrill has this in the bag over Jack Shittarelli Ciattarelli. QU finds the Dem holding a pretty solid enough 51 to 44 lead over the Republican – with a pair of third-party scrubs crowding that gap at 1 percent each, putting Sherill’s lead closer to 8 percent among the voters that actually matter.

Not the most comfortable of leads because the 3.8 percent margin of error swings both ways and from there it wouldn’t take a much larger error for Ciattarelli to pull an upset at these numbers.

However, if you’re a horserace circlejerker or a fucking chode like Scott Presler, you just LOVE this morning’s Emerson/The Hill survey putting Sherrill at 49 to Ciattarelli’s 48 percent. God bless Emerson for knowing their audience and delivering them the fap material they demand.

Failed Trump assassin Ryan Routh on Thursday asked Florida MAGA Judge Alieen Cannon to sentence him to do his no doubt lengthy time in a federal prison located in a state where assisted suicide is legal, thereby ensuring that Routh will be imprisoned in a state other than California, Colorado, Delaware, Hawaii, Maine, Montana, New Jersey, New Mexico, Oregon, Vermont, or Washington. Cannon may in fact take it a step further and order the Bureau of Prisons to keep Routh locked in a coffin naked with his head restrained 24 hours a day just to be on the safe side.

That lede risking giving the extremist jurist ideas out of the way, it’s a pretty much a non-starter as federal prisoners are statutorily prohibited from using any public funds for assisted suicide. There’s also that, unless it’s in Vermont or Oregon, he would need to be an established resident of the state, which is probably kind of a pain in the ass for a federal inmate to do. Lastly, he also needs to be diagnosed with a terminal illness to qualify. So maybe Ry should’ve done some research on this first before making the big ask of Judge Jackboots, who will consider it when prolonging his suffering.

The National Suicide Prevention Hotline in the United States is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week at 1-800-273-8255 or 988. Please call or text if you need to talk to someone.

Asked by Fox Newsidiot Maria Bartiromo to respond to outrage over the Trump Administration’s $40 billion bailout of Argentina, Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent on Thursday defended the spending as necessary to ensure that friendly officials remain in power in the nation so that it stays viable as an option for them should he and other top leaders need to get set up somewhere else and quickly.

Bessent did not say this outright, however it’s an easy inference to make given the vast South American nation’s historical position as a refuge for members of a certain party that abruptly found themselves no longer welcome in their home country after things went south – pun intended.

Ensuring that Argentina remains politically and economically stable will in turn make their leadership more amenable in the future to reciprocating the favor in the form of modest housing, a low-profile menial job at say, a tire manufacturing plant, and passports that identify them as Argentine-born individuals who have never set foot in the US let alone ever even heard of a “Scott Bessent.”

Should the need arise, of course. Contingency planning is a must-have habit for those successful in politics and government, as sometimes your “Final Solution” isn’t really that final and you’re going to need to make yourself scarce in a hurry. Even then you’re going to want to stay scarce, just in case some folks come looking to throw you on a plane so they can show you how a noose works.

Numerous reports over the years have together corroborated that Venezuelan dictator Nicolas Maduro lives on an army base and sleeps inside of a bunker rather than in the traditional presidential Palacio de Miraflores like past leaders of the socialist South American country did.

The arrangement was first revealed in 2017 when Venezuelan journalist Vladimir Kislinger revealed Maduro uses a bunker in the Special Unit for Security and Protection of State Personalities (UESPPE) within Caracas’s Fort Tiuna for protection against potential military uprisings or aerial attacks. Spanish newspaper El Español reported in 2017 that top Maduro regime officials including then-Vice President El Aissami, ministers, and cabinet members live in secure residences within the military compound, benefiting from military protection, unrestricted food supplies from the Armed Forces food center, and healthcare access. The reasons for this are self-evident: The Maduro regime lords over a country riven by bloody criminal violence and grinding poverty they’ve done nothing to meaningfully improve – arguably even exacerbated – and the only real way for them to remain safe from the rabble is to be surrounded by hundreds, maybe thousands, of armed troops at all times.

In completely unrelated news, the Atlantic reports that Trump Reichsmarchall Stephen Miller, dog-murdering Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem, binge-drinking date rapist “War” Secretary Pete Hegseth, below-average-height Secretary of State Marco Rubio, Army Secretary Dan Driscoll, and “another senior White House official, whom The Atlantic is not naming because of security concerns related to a specific foreign threat,” are all living on various military installations in and around DC rather than spending their own money renting or buying private housing.

A Kissimmee, Florida Trump fan is facing five years in prison on a single count of transmitting a threat to kill in interstate commerce after he lost patience with an automated phone bot at US Customs and Immigration Services while trying to get papers for his Colombian fiancee, telling the bot he’d torch the White House and kill ICE agents, the Independent reports, with copious detail on the man’s support for the regime’s extremist immigration policy. When it’s directed at other people.

Per the affidavit, self-employed BMW repair specialist Tristen Elijah Giroux, 30, commanded the bot to transfer him “to a customer service representative. Stupid bitch… Transfer me to a representative, dumb cunt bitch,” during the October 24th call, the total wait time of which was not disclosed.

Failing to have his inquiry escalated to a live person, Giroux then escalated his outburst on the recorded line with “I’m gonna burn down the White House. I’m gonna go choke out every ICE member I see. Kill them all.” Big Brother was listening and FBI agents showed up to arrest Giroux the very next day. The registered Republican voter confessed immediately, but offered that he was really on their side because he was “disgusted” by anti-ICE protests he had seen on TikTok. At the same time he’d been enraged over the process to bring his fiancee in from Colombia – which was already Kafkaesque a year ago before Giroux’s Orange Fuhrer and Goebbels reincarnate Stephen Miller returned to power and deliberately bricked it. Just like Giroux had voted for them to do.

From a Tuesday press release making plain the Trump Regime’s plans to undo the Biden Administration’s requirements that airlines compensate passengers fucked over needlessly with onerous delays and extra fees: “Today, Senator Ruben Gallego (D-AZ) and 17 Senate colleagues urged the DOT to reconsider its decision to roll back consumer protections for airline passengers that built on the bipartisan FAA Reauthorization Act. Specifically, Trump’s Department of Transportation (DOT) is rolling back protections created by the Biden administration that would require airlines to compensate passengers for flight delays and cancellations and provide consumers transparent information upfront about the costs of ancillary plane ticket fees. DOT’s actions to roll back these protections would make American families vulnerable to excessive travel costs.”

“Last year, Congress acted to protect the flying public from airline-caused disruptions and surprise costs. The law guaranteed the right to a hassle-free refund for passengers when flights are cancelled or significantly delayed regardless of cause. The law also required airlines to have policies in place to compensate passengers for significant flight disruptions within an airline’s control, and be transparent about fees – such as baggage fees or change fees – that they charge consumers,” the Dems wrote in their letter to former MTV Real World cast member and Fox News host Sean Duffy.

“The regulations recently targeted by the Department build upon the consumer protection framework established under the law. This is a common-sense proposal: when an airline’s mistake imposes unanticipated costs on families, the airline should try to remedy the situation by providing accommodations to consumers and helping cover their costs,’ they continued. ‘By cancelling this rulemaking, the Department is actively foregoing an easy solution to foster consumer confidence and address the problem of unaffordable travel for many families,” the letter continued.

The final Emerson College/The Hill/Pix 11 survey of New York City voters finds disgraced former state Governor Andrew Cuomo leading Republican mayoral nominee Curtis Sliwa 24 to 21 percent, making for a tight race between the two with under a week to go until the big day.

Another 4 percent of respondents were undecided and with the margin of error at 3.8 percent the colorful vigilante and former AM radio host could very realistically overtake Cuomo.

The survey also found Democratic nominee Zohran Mamdani receiving 50 percent support.

Thinking of some new plates for my Hummer… pic.twitter.com/6bHMVxyFY0

— L. Louise Lucas (@SenLouiseLucas) October 30, 2025

In case the joke is lost on you here’s a hint: Virginia has 11 congressional districts.

“Worked really hard, 24/7, took in Trillions of Dollars, and Chuck Schumer said trip was ‘a total dud,’ even though he knows it was a spectacular success. Words like that are almost treasonous!” posted the thin-skinned baby on Thursday. An actual shot back at Schumer might’ve helped make it sound a little less whiny and clearly wounded by a guy who’s supposed to be a non-entity.

In what Punchbowl News calls a “shocking development” Democrats and Republicans on Ohio’s bipartisan redistricting commission on Wednesday struck a deal that will slightly adjust the borders of two blue-held districts to make them a little more competitive, a third to make it less competitive, and leave another two held by Dem Congresswomen Shontel Brown and Joyce Beatty pretty safe.

The seats currently held by Republicans Max Miller, Mike Carey, and Mike Turner will also remain theoretically winnable by Dems. In the larger picture it’s yet another setback for convicted felon President Trump’s campaign of stacking the deck to hang onto the House GOP majority after a similar dead end in New Hampshire and still-uncertain gains in Missouri and Indiana – in the latter Governor Mike Braun this week called a special session to increase pressure on the Republican holdouts in the state Senate to obey the Orange Allah’s holy commands. “I am calling a special legislative session to protect Hoosiers from efforts in other states that seek to diminish their voice in Washington and ensure their representation in Congress is fair,” the cunt said in his announcement.

Meanwhile Maryland Dems aren’t on the same page with their mission to kill the lone GOP district in their state held by Freedom Caucasians chair Andy Harris, while in New York a new lawsuit seeks to get a judge to butcher the south Brooklyn/Staten Island district held by dishonest and dislikeable MAGA Congresswoman Nicole Malliotakis. For now at least the Dems have pretty much offset the fat bastard’s map-rigging push but next year could bring a new wave of gains for the fascist empire.

Convicted felon President Trump on Thursday emerged from a meeting with Chinese dictator Xi Jingping jubilant after having been worked in some way or another and announced that the tariffs on the country’s exports to the United States had been reduced to 47 percent from who even remembers what they were, shit is still more expensive, the Washington Post reports

Vice President Neckbeard already whiffed after being asked “Do you think it is a conflict of interest for Miriam Adelson to give millions of dollars to his campaign and then Trump have pro-Israel policies?” by some student. “If you’re asking, do I think the president has a conflict of interest? No, I do not. The President is America first through and through…” Jaydee’s reponse went.