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DeSantis-ordered investigation finds zero COVID vax crimes

A grand jury impaneled at the command of heels-wearing Florida Governor Ron DeSantis to investigate what if any criminal activity was involved in the development and distribution of COVID-19 vaccines has ended the probe and returned zero indictments, the AP reports

DeSantis, who ordered the investigation all the way back in 2022 when he thought he could run for president without getting steamrolled by convicted felon President-Elect Trump, probably forgot about the stupid bullshit MAGA virtue-signaling stunt even happened. Still, his minions tried to make lemons into ivermectin, writing “(N)ot finding any indictable criminal activity does not mean we did not find any problems. On the contrary, there are profound and serious issues involving the process of vaccine development and safety surveillance in the United States,” in the final report.

A DeSantis spokesperson did not comment on the failure to prosecute vaccine makers.

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“He bucks tradition, he doesn’t do what others do”

Ughhhh… CNN’s Pamela Brown is actually one of the better ones. She can corner a Republican on their bullshit pretty efficiently and gracefully with a sly half grin on her face. So maybe the most charitable read here is that she believes the best and most similar way to challenge a Democrat like Congressman Jim Himes is simply playing devil’s advocate and using canned, dated tropes about convicted felon President-Elect Trump being a “negotiator, a businessman” and a renegade who doesn’t play by the traditional rules of politics after that deranged press conference on Tuesday.

Or she’s actually going all in on the “sane-washing” like much of the rest of the mainstream media these days. Either way, Himes wasn’t exactly following along. He was more like “what the fuck are you talking about?” when sharing his take on the fat bastard’s performance, and not very unsubtly mocking Trump’s fans with “Where is the economic benefit to the people who voted for Donald Trump when he’s telling tales of Greenland and renaming the Gulf of Mexico?”

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Ohio police chief not sure what to do with vicious, killer pigs

Pataskala, Ohio Police Chief Bruce Brooks tells the Columbus Dispatch he’s not sure what the law says he can do about two pigs whose owner let them out of the yard before they proceeded to chase, viciously maul, and then partially eat a 75 year-old neighbor on Christmas Day.

“If it was a pit bull or a Rottweiler, or name any of the other 15 dogs that are deemed semi aggressive, then we would know the answer right away,” said Brooks, explaining that while the laws in similar situations involving dogs are well-established, he and prosecutors with Licking County are at a loss with the pigs. “But being farm animals, it’s just not something we’ve ever dealt with here.”

The victim, Rebecca Westergaard, had been getting ready to visit her niece that morning when the pigs cornered her somewhere on her property in the rural stretch outside of Columbus. Brooks called the case a “horrible, horrible situation,” but could not share further information as the case is still under investigation, adding that the department will share more once Westergaard’s full autopsy results are completed in four to six weeks. It’s not clear from the article where the two porkers are currently, as in if they’re at the pound or what. Their owner has yet to be publicly identified, much less charged under whatever sort of negligence or manslaughter a dog owner in a similar case would have been hit with, after allowing the savage predation to have been inflicted on Westergaard.

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Cannon orders Garland and Smith not to release Trump report

Florida MAGA Judge Aileen Cannon on Tuesday commanded Justice Department special counsel Jack Smith and Attorney General Merrick Garland to cease from releasing the report on convicted felon President-Elect Trump’s crimes, writing “Pending resolution of the Emergency Motion filed in the Eleventh Circuit and/or any further direction from the Eleventh Circuit, Attorney General Garland, the Department of Justice, Special Counsel Smith, all of their officers, agents, and employees, and all persons acting in active concert or participation with such individuals, are TEMPORARILY ENJOINED from (a) releasing, sharing, or transmitting the Final Report or any drafts of such Report outside the Department of Justice, or (b) otherwise releasing, distributing, conveying, or sharing with anyone outside the Department of Justice any information or conclusions in the Final Report or in drafts thereof. This Order remains in effect until three days after resolution by the Eleventh Circuit of the Emergency Motion, unless the Eleventh Circuit orders otherwise.”

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McDonald’s “ends” DEI programs

McDonald’s is ending its DEI program in what’s seen as a direct response to MAGA activist Robby Starbuck harassing them on Twitter… Well that’s how Axios reported it in their article, one that linked to a letter from the McC-suite to franchisees about the changes to corporate policies.

“We are retiring setting aspirational representation goals and instead keeping our focus on continuing to embed inclusion practices that grow our business into our everyday process and operations. We are pausing external surveys to focus on the work we are doing internally to grow the business. We are retiring Supply Chain’s Mutual Commitment to DEI pledge in favor of a more integrated discussion with suppliers about inclusion as it relates to business performance. We are evolving how we refer to our diversity team, which will now be the Global Inclusion Team. This name change is more fitting for McDonald’s in light of our inclusion value and better aligns with this team’s work,” said the letter attributed to CEO Chris Kempczinski and a long list of other execs, emphasis ours on the part about changing the name of the team from diversity to inclusion.

Not sure what else to add here. The letter is literally titled “Our Commitment to Inclusion at McDonald’s,” but if a fucking freak like Robby Starfuck thinks this is a victory then let him have it.

Also noting that the letter listed a Jill McDonald as the the company’s “President, International Operated Markets.” That’s gotta suck for her. “Hey Jill does your husband wear the makeup and wig in bed?” “He’s seen Grimace’s dick when they were changing in the locker room, right? What’s it look like? Is it furry too?” “Can we just call you McJill so it gets less confusing? Thanks, McJill.”

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Team Trump appeal Manhattan sentencing

In a last-ditch attempt to derail the scheduled Friday sentencing date in Judge Juan Merchan’s court, convicted felon President-Elect Trump’s asshole lawyers on Tuesday filed their appeal to New York State’s First Appellate Division, writing “President Trump brings this Article 78 proceeding to redress the serious and continuing infringement on his Presidential immunity from criminal process that he holds as the 45th and soon-to-be 47th President of the United States of America. In this Petition, President Trump seeks review of two closely related, interlocking, and erroneous decisions by Justice Merchan denying President Trump’s claims of Presidential immunity” and blah blah blah in the 502-page long sob story when he already knows Merchan isn’t going to toss him in the clink.

In related news, his former co-defendants in the Mar-a-Lago documents theft case went to MAGA Judge Aileen Cannon’s court – remember she already tossed the case and it’s under appeal now but they’re trying to bring it back to her – asking for an “emergency hearing” to get the far right fascist jurist to somehow block the release of special counsel Jack Smith’s final report on the crime.

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Tom Homan says more border enforcement needed because one US-born citizen killed 15 people and another blew up a Cybertruck

See libs? We need to close the border because the New York Jets might hire Rex Ryan again and there’s a windstorm headed for Los Angeles and Matt Gaetz wears weird makeup on OAN.

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Greenland says Don Jr’s visit “private”

Mininnguaq Kleist, Greenland’s permanent secretary for the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, tells CBS News that suspected cocaine user Donald Trump Jr’s trip there is “a private visit and that is being respected by Naalakkersuisut – the Government of Greenland. Therefore, there will also not be reactions to the visit. Our country is open for visits, visitors are welcome in our beautiful country.”

Separately Reuters reports that Don Jr this morning – flying on “Trump Force One” – has already landed in the vast frozen territory’s capital of Nuuk, the visit lasting only four or five hours to film content for his stupid podcast, and won’t be meeting with any public or elected officials.

Which is pretty lame. You would think that if Donalds Senior and Junior were serious about this – and flying to fucking Greenland in January should signal something akin to “seriousness” – they would actually do their homework and find some local legislator or mayor or even a police chief to help promote the idea of annexation rather than just jerking around for a podcast stunt.

The fat bastard later posted a video of his rickety plane landing in Nuuk. “The reception has been great. They, and the Free World, need safety, security, strength, and PEACE! This is a deal that must happen. MAGA. MAKE GREENLAND GREAT AGAIN!” Trump wrote on Truth Social.

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“THE MOST DESTRUCTIVE WINDSTORM SEEN SINCE 2011”

The National Weather Service’s Los Angeles office was not at all fucking around on Tuesday, posting a bulletin warning of a “very strong, widespread, and destructive north to northeast windstorm will bring Extremely Critical fire weather conditions to many areas of Los Angeles and eastern Ventura counties Tuesday afternoon into early Wednesday afternoon. This is a PARTICULARLY DANGEROUS SITUATION Red Flag Warning event in many areas, with the combination of very strong upper level wind support, tightening offshore pressure gradients (LAX-Daggett peaking at -7 to -8 mb), and moderate cold air advection. The strongest winds with this event are expected Tuesday afternoon into early Wednesday afternoon when widespread damaging wind gusts of 50 to 80 mph are likely.”

“The San Gabriel mountains, Santa Susana mountains, and foothills of the San Gabriel/San Fernando Valleys will likely see areas of destructive wind gusts between 80 and 100 mph! Due to the very strong upper level wind support and high risk for strong mountain wave activity, typical wind sheltered areas such as portions of the LA basin and San Gabriel Valley. The strong winds will likely result in widespread downed trees/powerlines, as well as widespread power outages. THIS WILL LIKELY BE THE MOST DESTRUCTIVE WINDSTORM SEEN SINCE 2011 WINDSTORM THAT DID EXTENSIVE DAMAGE TO PASADENA AND NEARBY FOOTHILLS OF THE SAN GABRIEL VALLEY.”

“ANY COMMUNITIES ALONG HIGHWAY 118 AND 210 CORRIDORS WILL BE AT HIGHEST RISK FOR COMPARABLE WIND DAMAGE. Humidity levels are also expected to lower to between 10 and 15 percent in many areas by Tuesday afternoon/evening, potentially lowering into single digits in some areas by late Tuesday night into Wednesday,” the very lengthy windstorm advisory continued.

Stay safe SoCal. Smoke your cigarettes indoors and leave the windsurfing board in the garage.

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French far-right founder Jean-Marie Le Pen dead at 96

Jean-Marie Le Pen, the founder of France’s far-right movement and father to current leader Marine Le Pen, died Tuesday at the age of 96, Reuters reports. Le Pen had launched the party now known as the National Rally in 1972 but had been excommunicated by his own daughter in 2015 for calling Nazi extermination camps a mere “detail” of World War II. A bit ironic considering in 1944 he had attempted to join a communist wing of the French Free Forces but was rejected for being too young.

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Roman Empire declined because they got dumber: study

The average IQ of a citizen of the Roman Empire likely declined by 2.5 to 3 points from 27 BC to 180 AD just from the presence of lead in the atmosphere alone, NBC News reports citing a new paper published in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences on Monday.

The estimate was calculated based on the presence of lead particles extracted from an ice core sample in Greenland, concentrations that saw a dramatic increase in the level of the metal corresponding to a time when silver mining rapidly increased in the Iberian Peninsula with the lead a byproduct of smelting the silver to mint coinage. This was very far from the only source of lead poisoning for Romans however, as people were exposed via water pipes, cups, and wine vessels.

Meaning that 2.5 to 3 point drop was just what could be measured from the smelting and almost certainly lowballs the damage. “Their estimates are likely to be an underestimate,” said Canadian lead expert and public health professor Dr Bruce Lanphear after having read the study.

“Virtually nobody escaped. Human or industrial activities 2,000 years ago were already having continental-scale impacts on human health,” said Joe McConnell, one of the head authors of the paper and a climate scientist at the Reno-based Desert Research Institute. “Roman-era lead pollution is the earliest unambiguous example of human impacts on the environment.”

Research back in the 1980s suggested Roman elites steadily lost their shit because of lead in the wine they drank, accelerating the empire’s eventual collapse. “I’m quite convinced lead was one of the factors that contributed to the decline of the Roman Empire, but it was only one factor. It’s never just one thing,” said Lamphear. Nowhere in NBC’s article is any sort of “DURRR HERE’S A LESSON FROM HISTORY THAT’S RELEVANT CUZ AMERICA IS LIKE TEH ROMAN EMPIRE NOW.”

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Team Orange commands Garland to block Smith’s final report

Convicted felon President-Elect Trump’s lawyers on Monday sent a letter to ponderous old US Attorney General Merrick Garland urging him to block the release of Justice Department special counsel Jack Smith’s two-part final report on the fat fuck’s crimes, as doing so would, in Politico’s words “illegally interfere with the presidential transition and be little more than a political attack,” and that “the decision about releasing Smith’s findings should be left to Trump’s administration.”

“Because Smith has proposed an unlawful course of action, you must countermand his plan and remove him promptly,” is the only direct quote from Trump lawyers Todd Blanche and John Lauro in Politico’s reporting on the final account of the fat fuck’s crime spree. The two were provided copies of the report on Friday, ahead of an obviously imminent public release (maybe) all of the evidence that would have been put in front of juries in the two aborted federal criminal trials.

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Frau Ingraham neither subtle nor vague in her warning to Trump

Who knows how much influence Fox News propagandist Laura Ingraham truly holds with convicted felon President-Elect Trump – anyone who says they know is probably full of shit. One might however take a look at a series of segments on her show last January on the bipartisan border security bill that collapsed: If she wasn’t the first right wing ideologue to demand that Republicans sink it – and urge Trump to apply the same pressure – she was most definitely the loudest and probably did more than anyone other than Trump and Republicans in Congress to kill it off. Which is to say she knows what she’s doing when she yaps angrily in front of the camera nightly.

Does that mean she’s not eventually going to suck it up and pretend to enjoy it if and when Trump does open the door to “an explosion of foreign labor in the United States, just to keep costs low for big tech”? Probably not. But that doesn’t mean she isn’t going to at least try to peel Trump away from Ketamine Brain’s open border H1-B plan, maybe make it feel like she’s protecting Donald from Elon’s malign influence. Ingraham’s a scumbag, but she’s not dumb. She may yet do some damage.

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Don Jr leading MAGA delegation to Greenland

Posting it along with a video of one Greenlandic guy putting on a MAGA hat, convicted felon President-Elect Trump on Monday announced that his idiot son Don Jr “and various representatives, will be traveling there to visit some of the most magnificent areas and sights,” without offering any further details or the timing of the not-very-officially-diplomatic-sounding visit.

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VPN business booming in Florida

Industry news/resource site VPN Mentor reports their team “observed a significant surge in VPN usage across the state of Florida, with a staggering increase noted in the first hours of January 1st increasing consistently since the last minutes of 2024 and reaching its peak of 1150 percent only four hours after the HB3 law came into effect. Additionally, there was a noteworthy 51 percent spike in demand for VPN services in the state on December 19, 2024, the day after Aylo released their statement of geo-blocking Florida IP addresses to access their website.”

If you guessed this was about PornHub then congratulations because yes this is about PornHub self-banning from Florida before that age verification law came into effect on Wednesday.

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Rudy found in contempt

A federal judge on Monday found alcoholic shitbrain Rudy Giuliani in contempt for discovery violations as former Georgia election workers Ruby Freeman and Shae Moss struggle to squeeze the loser former New York City mayor for everything he’s trying to hide from the $148 million defamation judgment he owes them over his 2020 election conspiracy lies, ABC News reports.

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Harris acts like an adult

Vice President Kamala Harris on Monday acted like an adult and not only accepted her defeat but legally certified it in an act that will earn her zero credit from the MAGA shitbags enjoying that she had to do it. That she didn’t fuck around or even troll convicted felon President-Elect Trump is probably an indication she intends to preserve her political viability going into 2028. But if the incentive structure weren’t what it was for Democrats she probably could’ve gotten away with calling a mob of her fans to sack the Capitol and still win a clear victory in four years anyway.

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Texas says flesh-eating fly larvae not a problem as long as you apply bug spray and wash any open wounds when outdoors

“Texas Parks and Wildlife Department (TPWD) asks hunters and other outdoor enthusiasts in South Texas to monitor for animals affected by New World Screwworm (NWS) after a recent detection in Mexico. This detection, found in a cow at an inspection checkpoint in the southern Mexico State of Chiapas, close to the border with Guatemala, follows the progressively northward movement of NWS through both South and Central Americas. As a protective measure, animal health officials ask those along the southern Texas border to monitor wildlife, livestock and pets for clinical signs of NWS and immediately report potential cases. New World screwworms are larvae or maggots of the NWS fly (Cochliomyia hominivorax), that cause a painful condition known as NWS myiasis.”

“NWS flies lay eggs in open wounds or orifices of live tissue such as nostrils, eyes or mouth. These eggs hatch into dangerous parasitic larvae, and the maggots burrow or screw into flesh with sharp mouth hooks. Wounds can become larger, and an infestation can often cause serious, deadly damage or death to the infected animal. NWS primarily infests livestock but can also affect humans and wildlife including deer and birds. Clinical signs of NWS myiasis may include: Irritated or depressed behavior, Loss of appetite, Head shaking, Smell of decaying flesh, Presence of fly larvae (maggots) in wounds, Isolation from other animals or people,” says a bulletin from the Texas Parks and Wildlife Department issued last week to people who might otherwise be tempted ignore the smell of decaying flesh and/or the presence of maggots writhing in open wounds.

“When spending time outdoors (especially if traveling abroad to NWS-affected areas), be sure to clean and cover all wounds in addition to applying insect repellant to outdoor clothing to help avoid contact with NWS and other harmful insects,” the very gross bulletin recommended.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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